Reverberations
by aMUSEment345
Summary: Third in the 'Soundings' series. Follows immediately on Echoes. Reid and JJ learn how to become a family...taught, in large part, by Henry. T only for cases.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N. Well, this surprised me. I wasn't planning on writing it. Apparently I was just too irritated by the 'finale'. So here we go, set immediately after Echoes, which follows on Her Voice. Thanks to all who've enjoyed those stories. Special thanks to those who've reviewed. You've been most kind.  
**

**And I guess it's offically "romance" now. I honestly wasn't sure when the series started. Had to wait for my profilers to tell me.  
**

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 1**

The ride home seemed so much shorter than had the ride over yesterday. _Maybe that's because I'm flying!_

He missed JJ already, and he'd just left her. But this time, he left with the confidence of seeing her again, and again, and again….

This morning, he'd been having a most pleasant dream….rare, for him…. when _oomph! _Something heavy fell on him. Or, more precisely, _landed_ on him. He woke up to Henry's face inches from his. He'd been tackled on the couch.

"Yay! We had a sleepover! Uncle Spence, why didn't you sleep in my bed with me?"

Reid heard JJ's chuckle from the kitchen. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and lifted Henry so he could get up. "Hey, Little Man, good morning."

Walking into the kitchen, he greeted JJ as well. "I guess I fell asleep on your couch?" It was a question.

JJ nodded with a grin. "I came out here to open a bottle of wine, and when I went back inside, you were out cold. So I stretched you out, stuck a pillow under your head and covered you up. I hope you're not too sore."

He looked at her with narrowed eyes. "I think I had the most wonderful dream…?" This was also a question.

"Hmmmm. I think I might have had the same one." Her smile brought out his. _It was real._

"Can't wait to have it again." Spence's eyes were sparkling. JJ's grin widened.

They were figuring out they'd have to speak in code around Henry.

"Are you gonna stay with us all day, Uncle Spence?"

The two adults shared a look, but Reid shook his head. "I think I need to get going, Henry. Maybe we could play for just a little while after breakfast."

"Well, could be have another sleepover again? And this time you sleep in my bed, Uncle Spence."

The adults' eyebrows raised at the first sentence, and they laughed at the second.

"Maybe, little man. We'll see. How about you eat your breakfast now?" And Reid motioned JJ to the next room with a nod of his head. He couldn't wait until after breakfast for what he wanted.

With Henry settled behind his pancakes, JJ followed Reid. She'd barely gotten into the room when he swept her by the waist and into his arms. "I think I need to remember that dream….will you help me?"

Her laughter was abbreviated by his kiss. The both were caught up in it until they needed to stop for breath. "I love you, JJ. I don't think I'm going to be able to stop saying it." He'd felt that same jolt of electricity he'd felt before and thought, _it's like a kindling._

"Then don't." She was smiling. Then more seriously, she said, "Spence, I can tell we're both feeling something here." His eyes were studying every part of her face, not sure where she was going with this. "I think we should take things slowly. Not because I don't want to," she held off the reply he'd started to give, "but because I do. I want us to take our time, to have a sure foundation. This is too important to me."

"To us," he corrected. "You're right, as always. I've waited a long, long time for you, JJ. I can wait longer. Because then, I hope, we'll have forever."

She stared into those brown eyes before embracing him. "I hope so, too, Spence."

"Mommy! Uncle Spence! Aren't you going to eat breakfast?"

#####################################################

Arriving home, Reid realized what a mess his place was….the flotsam and jetsam of a life gone awry for the past week. He'd had no energy or will to straighten anything up before. Now, he tackled it with vigor. He was in love….well, technically he'd been in love for quite a while, but now he could openly admit it. And, most importantly, he was loved in return. _This is what a _good_ high feels like._

He tried to get a little of his philosophy work done, but found his ability to concentrate on what he was reading was no better than it had been the week before. This time, he didn't mind. He gave up and headed out to the park to see if he could roust up a game of chess. He didn't think he'd be any good at that either today, but that was a win/win situation. The kids would be thrilled to beat him.

On the way, his cell sounded. It was Emily.

"Hey, Reid. How are you?"

"Fine, Emily. What's up?"

It seemed like she was sounding him out. "Well, I just thought maybe we could hang out today, if you're not busy."

They'd done a little socializing before, but it wasn't a typical thing. It dawned on him that she was worried because of how he'd been all week. He felt a pang of gratitude for being blessed with such a good friend.

"I'm okay, Emily, if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm not wor..…well, yes, I guess I am. Are you really all right? Because you sure haven't looked it. You've been looking like you haven't eaten or slept in ages."

"I'm really all right. You can see for yourself. Do you want to come for dinner?"

"You cook?"

"Since I was a kid. If I hadn't learned to cook, I would have grown up on cereal."

"Oh. All right, then. I'll bring wine. Maybe we can find a movie afterwards. Just not a five hour one in Russian, okay?"

He laughed. "You're on. I'll see you in a bit."

He detoured from the park to the grocery store and got the makings of dinner. After not having an appetite for so long, pretty much everything looked good, but he settled on salad and steak.

As he returned home, he wondered if it was too soon to call JJ. Actually, he'd wondered that about four times already, but didn't want to wear out his welcome. Having gone through high school before puberty, he never learned about the rudiments of 'boyfriend behavior'. And he'd certainly gotten little experience as an adult. Idly, he wondered if he could Google a protocol for it. Then he wondered if he was brave enough to ask Emily.

His fingers decided on making the call for him. "Hi, Spence." He could hear the pleasure in JJ's voice. He could get used to this.

"JJ, hi."

"What's up?"

"Huh? Oh, right, I called you." A pause. "Nothing, I guess. I just wanted to hear your voice."

He thought he could hear her smile through the phone. "And I'm glad to hear yours."

"What did you guys do today?"

"Well, we went to church, and then we came home and I had an exciting afternoon doing laundry. Henry's been outside playing with Karen. You remember, his sitter? She heard about his accident and wanted to spend some time with him. That's one of the reasons I feel so comfortable leaving him with her. How about you?"

"Not too much. I tried to get some reading done, but couldn't concentrate. So I was headed to the park for some chess when Emily called. I think she was worried about me."

They both were silent as they remembered that most painful week that seemed like a year.

"She's going to come over for dinner. That's the only way I could convince her I was okay." He wondered if he was supposed to do things like this now….like having dinner with another woman. But it was _Emily_….. He really had to find out about that boyfriend stuff.

JJ seemed to be laughing to herself. "Spence, there's something you should probably know before you see her. Garcia told me the team….not Hotch of course, but the rest of them…..had placed bets on when you and I would get together."

"What?"

"Yep. I was pretty shocked myself. But now I'm a little bit touched, I guess. She said they'd had us pegged for a while, and were just waiting for us to figure it out."

"More like waiting for _me_ to figure it out," he mused.

"We both needed to get there, Spence. Anyway, I realized they were all rooting for us, wanting us to be happy. So guess their having a little fun in the process is okay."

"JJ, this is making me think. How _do_ we do this at work? I mean, do we tell anyone? Act differently? I haven't thought about any of this." _Mostly because I never thought I'd be so lucky._

"They're profilers, Spence. There's no point in trying to hide anything. If you want to tell Emily, go ahead. I'm sure I'll be getting a call from Garcia wanting to know how yesterday went."

"You tell her, it went astronomically, googliciously, well!"

"Have a great dinner with Emily, Spence. Give her my love."

"I will. I love you, JJ. And I love saying that!"

#####################################################

Emily stood at the door, waiting for Reid to answer. She'd prepared herself to be a shoulder to cry on, a wise 'Aunt Emily', a friend to a friend in need. She _hadn't _prepared herself for the bouncing, bubbling Reid that opened the door.

"Reid? What's going on?" She was looking around as she entered the apartment, as though searching for a punchline.

"Going on? I thought we were having dinner."

"Well, we are. But…...you look... _happy_."

He caught her eyes, sent her a message. "That's because I am."

She stared at him with wide eyes. "No way! I had you down for next month!" And they both laughed at what had gone unsaid.

He returned the hug Emily gave him. "I'd be upset about the bet, but I know it only means you guys love us. Who won?"

"Garcia, of course. I'm sure she had an inside track on the whole thing though. Unless you want to fake it for a while?" Emily was teasing him.

"Don't think I could." Then he turned just a little more serious. He'd been able to talk to Emily about a great many things over the years. Maybe she could help him with this. "Emily, I've never been in this kind of a relationship before. What should I do? What _shouldn't_ I do? Help!"

"Pour the wine, Reid. I have a feeling we're in for an interesting evening."


	2. Chapter 2

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 2**

With Henry down for his nap, JJ had a few moments to herself. Motherhood was a busy enterprise. It left little time for her to examine what she thought or felt. And she needed to examine both of those things today.

She hadn't told him, but spending time with Reid's mother at the end of her life, watching her write in her journal, had resonated with her. She'd realized it as a way to process her daily life. So she'd begun journaling herself. Her life was so busy, she couldn't get to it every day. But she made sure to spend time with it as often as she could. _Putting things into words is a way of mastering them_, she thought. _Otherwise, dealing with pure emotion can be too overwhelming_. In her life, she'd made it a priority to become the master of her emotions.

As she'd watched Reid work his way through his mother's journals, she'd become more circumspect about how she expressed herself. She wanted Henry…_or any other child I might have_, she thought…..to be able to read through them one day without the emotional baggage his mother's journals had laid on Reid. So she walked a fine literary line, between brutal honesty and maternal concern.

She paged back a bit before starting today's entry. "My boy is home! It was so good to see Henry again yesterday! This was the first time we've been apart for so long. When I've been away on a case, it's never been for more than a few days at a time. But this was two weeks! I don't know how I stood it. He was so cute getting off the plane. Will traveled back and forth with him (thank you, Will, you are a great dad, even if we couldn't make it together). Henry ran straight into my arms and held on as though for dear life. Nothing has ever felt better. We spent the whole day playing and talking. It sounds like he had great fun with Will's family in New Orleans. I think he misses his dad already. Dear God, I pray that I am doing the right thing breaking off my relationship with Will. Neither of us want to hurt Henry…or each other. I can only hope and pray that I'm doing the right thing."

She'd suffered that uncertainty for a long time. But she felt she was in the right place, beginning the right relationship, now.

Her next entry read, " Spence is home from Vegas. He's reading through his mother's journals and it's taking a visible toll on him. He clearly thinks it's something he has to do, but I don't know if it's wise. It's so strange, we were only out there those few days, but I feel like I've gotten to know him so much better. Meeting Diana helped me gain some perspective on what kind of person he is. In some ways, he seems so simple, because there's no artifice. But in others, he might be one of the most complex men I've ever known."

She realized, in retrospect, that this might be the entry that marked a significant change in how she related with Spence.

Enough reverie for now. She realized she'd better get busy writing before Henry woke up from his nap.

"Today is Sunday. Today, the sun came out on my life again. Especially after that awful week of darkness and gloom, today feels like brightness and warmth. And it's all because of Spence. He loves me. And I love him. Yes, I know, I've written it before."

She laughed at herself. She'd been falling into dialogue with her journal more and more.

"But before, I thought I was the only one who knew he loved me. For a genius, he can be pretty dense. Finally, he's figured it out. Or gotten up the courage, I don't know which. I do know that I very much needed to hear him say it. And he did! Over and over and over again. I've been in love before, or at least I thought I was. But there's something about my relationship with Spence that is deeper, more profound. In a way, it's actually _quieter_ than others, but infinitely more substantial. It feels _real_."

##########################################################

They were relaxing over the remains of the wine after dinner.

Emily was perplexed. Exactly how does one give advice to a genius? Okay, maybe he wasn't a genius in everything. But 187 IQ points had to count for something. So why was this so hard?

"Reid, I don't think you can approach this like a science project. There are no right or wrong answers. Well, actually, there _are_…..but they're not absolute. What's right for you might not be right for someone else. For instance, it's okay for you and I to do something together, but it would be entirely wrong for Hotch and I to do something together. Morgan and Garcia could go out, but not Morgan and JJ. Reid, are you all right?"

He'd become completely pale at the mention of Morgan and JJ going out. Gulping, he answered her. "I think I get it. It's not the "that", it's the "who".

"Exactly. I think. Listen, Reid, have you ever talked with any of the guys about this? Maybe they'd be more helpful."

He couldn't hold back his sarcasm. "Well, let me see. Rossi's had plenty of experience, considering he's had three wives. And Morgan has a new date every weekend, so he might know a lot. And then there's Hotch, who had to do a triathlon to get a date. No, Emily, I haven't talked to the guys about this."

"Touche. Well, you and JJ will figure out what's right for you, I'm sure."

He got suddenly serious. "I don't know about the field."

"What do you mean?

"I mean, when we're on a case, and she needs to do something that might be dangerous. I don't know how I'll handle that."

Emily studied him. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that I lost my mind when she got a little beat up a few months ago. I was telling the EMT to get a CT scan on her, all for a few bruises and a bloody nose. I don't see how I could handle having the woman I love be hurt". He was savoring being able to say 'the woman I love.'

"Reid, did you start loving JJ last night?"

"What? No! What you do you mean?"

"I mean, you've loved her for a long time. We all love one another, whether we're in love or not. It's not easy…it's not _tolerable_…..when one of us gets hurt, no matter what the circumstance. I think it will be far less different than you think."

He considered it for a few moments. "You might be right. Still…." Then, "Do you think we should tell Hotch? Would it affect our assignments?"

"I don't think you're going to need to tell Hotch. Remember he's an expert profiler, and even if he couldn't read you, I'm pretty sure he'll be able to read _me_. Forget all of this, Reid. Just be happy. I'm so happy for you." And she gave him another hug. "You deserve it. And JJ deserves it."

"And so do you, Emily. You deserve love. And you'll have it."

He couldn't believe that he, Spencer Reid, was giving advice to someone about being in love.

#############################################################

JJ continued her journal entry. "Spence and Henry are so cute together. It's like they were made for each other. Henry is eerily attuned to Spence's moods and needs. He may know him even better than I do. He hadn't seen Spence all week, but he knew to pray for his happiness. Maybe he picked up on it from me, or maybe he overheard me talking with Garcia. Or maybe he had his conversation directly with God. Whichever, my little four year old took it upon himself to try to take care of his godfather. God, I don't know that it's anything I've done right, but thank you, thank you for this gift of my little boy. I don't think it would be possible for me to love him more. Thank you for letting him stay with me after he was so badly hurt. I will be forever grateful."

She put it away for later when she heard Henry stir. "Hi, Mommy!" A little bundle of energy climbed into her lap and gave her a hug. Every time he got up, whether from a night's sleep or a nap, it was like a new day for Henry, and every time, he greeted her as though he'd not seen her in forever.

"Did you have a good nap? Any good dreams?"

"Mm-hmm. I dreamed that I was a pirate and I found a treasure chest. And you know what was in it?"

"Gold? Jewels?"

"No, Mommy. It was Uncle Spence!" He giggled.

JJ smiled. Out of the mouths of babes…..

###############################################

Having finally gotten Henry down for the night, JJ picked up her journal again. The past week had been so tumultuous, so filled with ups and downs. She felt strongly that both the good and the bad shaped her, and deserved equal attention. Looking back to the entry from one week ago, she found that she had written about both.

"Yesterday was, just possibly, the worst day of my life. And the best. My dearest heart, my Henry, was badly hurt. He could have suffered serious brain damage, or even a broken neck….but he didn't. (Thank you, God.) I literally thought I could fall apart in that hospital room. And then Spence came and held me together. When the doctor told us Henry would be all right, we were both overjoyed. It felt like we were a family. And then Will came to see Henry. They do dearly love one another. But when Will came home with us to be with Henry, Spence looked completely lost. I sort of understood, because I felt like I was losing something just then too. I don't want to hurt Spence, but Henry's need has to come first. And right now, Henry needs his dad. I just hope and pray that Spence can see that as well."

The ensuing week had been awful, with Spence distancing himself from them completely. At first she'd been angry with him, thinking he was being petulant. But then Garcia had helped her to see that he was trying to do what he thought was the right thing…..giving Henry a chance to be with both his father and his mother. Maybe permanently. The little boy Spence had been wanted that for Henry.

Thinking of Garcia, JJ wondered why she hadn't heard from her. As though on cue, the phone rang with Garcia's number on the caller ID. "Hi, Pen."

"JJ….any news?" She'd known Reid was supposed to come over yesterday. JJ thought it was telling that she'd waited until the next day to call. Maybe she hoped they'd been busy…

"Well, yes and no. He came over and then tried to escape as soon as I told him Henry was sleeping. But I made him stay, and we talked."

"And? JJ, dish!"

"I took your advice and told him about how my relationship with Will had changed. You were right. He obviously needed to hear that. And then…."

"Then?"

"And then, he looked like a kid trying to get the courage to jump off the high dive. But he did it. He took a chance and told me how he felt."

"Which is?"

"You already know, Garcia. But I'm very happy to say it anyway. He loves me! I felt so bad for him trying to get it out, I almost helped. But I knew that, if we are ever to have a chance to be true life partners, he had to meet me half way. And he did."

"And then…?"

"And then, we kissed…..and he fell asleep on the couch."

"What! JJ, honey, you might have to work on your technique."

JJ laughed. "He basically hadn't eaten or slept in a week. I think he was so relieved at how we worked things out that he virtually collapsed. Henry was upset to have missed the sleepover."

"So, has he left?"

"He's having dinner with Emily. She called him today to see how he was. I know everyone's been worried about him."

"Do you think he's told her?"

"Probably. Why?"

"Because I don't want her to sabotage the bet. I won!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 3**

_Well, I guess we're not going to find out what it's like to be at the BAU as a couple, at least not today. _The team had been summoned directly to the airport at six that morning. There'd been an abduction of a college coed in Michigan….the second such abduction in the past two weeks. The first had ended tragically, with the young woman's body found in a shallow grave in a wooded area. It appeared she'd died within 48 hours of her abduction, lending a strong sense of urgency to the mission.

On the plane, Reid thought back to the night before.

"Hi, Spence."

"Hi, JJ." Pause. "I know I called you not too long ago…but I just wanted to say good night."

"Good night, Spence."

"Oh, okay, good night. Is that it?" He sounded so befuddled over the phone.

She giggled. "No, silly, I was teasing you. I was hoping you'd call. How was your dinner with Emily?"

"It was fine. We had a nice talk afterwards. I wanted her to help me with….." And then he caught himself. He probably wasn't supposed to tell JJ about trying to learn about 'boyfriending' (as he'd coined it) from Emily, since it was JJ he was supposed to be boyfriend to. _How odd_, he thought, _that getting into a relationship can make me think I should share _less_ with her_ _than I did before. That can't be right. _He realized there was a real danger that his genius brain would lead him into overthinking everything. _This whole relationship thing might be trickier than I thought….and I've only been in it for 24 hours!_

His thoughts were interrupted when Hotch caught everyone's attention for Garcia's case synopsis.

"Gather round, boys and girls. This one ain't pretty. Stacey Osborn was a 20 year old junior at Kuyper College…until about 12 days ago. That's when her body was found in a lightly wooded area off the interstate in Lansing, Michigan. She had multiple small burn marks over her torso and the soles of her feet, indicating torture before she was killed. COD was strangulation."

"What kind of burns, Garcia?" asked Reid.

"They were most likely caused by the end of a lit cigarette."

"Garcia," Morgan asked, "how was her body discovered?"

"Ah, my love, you're on to something interesting. One might have thought the kidnapping would have prompted the search. But no, not in this case. Our victim was found accidentally, by a gentleman walking his dog. He'd stopped along the highway for a pet potty break, and the dog sniffed out the remains. They were very superficially buried, really barely covered. And get this…the unsub left her student ID around her neck, so she was identified very quickly The ME thinks she may actually have been strangled with the lanyard."

Emily caught that. "It takes a lot of strength to strangle someone. How can she have been strangled with a lanyard? It should have broken."

Garcia had the answer. "Hers was leather, apparently a gift from her roommate. Said roommate had not reported her missing because said roommate was on a three day leadership retreat when Stacey went missing. The police traced back from her ID to her dorm room, and there found signs of a struggle, indicating the abduction."

Rossi observed, "So, she could potentially have been gone for a long time without even being missed if our dog walker hadn't stumbled upon her."

Hotch agreed. "Garcia, tell us about the second victim."

"Victim number two is Laura Collins. Her abduction is presumed, it wasn't witnessed. She lives in sorority housing off campus from Michigan State. Her sorority sisters found signs of a struggle in their common room. They weren't sure which of the sisters might have been involved until hours later…..that's how long it took them to contact everyone. Laura was the only one unaccounted for. She's made no contact with anyone for the past 24 hours."

"And she's never been out of touch before?" Reid asked.

"Never. She was close with her sorority sisters and with her family."

Emily wondered, "Garcia, are there any romantic connections? A boyfriend, maybe?"

"Eric Lyman, her boyfriend of two years. Apparently they were headed toward marriage, but weren't engaged yet."

Rossi entered the exchange. "Just to cover the obvious, might there have been a romantic rival? Someone else holding something against her?"

"According to the police, 'no' and 'no'.

JJ was thinking. "How sure are we that she's actually been taken? Could she have simply gone somewhere of her own accord?"

"Well, what about the signs of struggle? Are you thinking it might have been staged?" Emily was trying to work it through.

"Or there was a struggle, but Laura wasn't the one who lost. Or maybe it wasn't a sorority member involved in the struggle. They may have a cleaning staff that comes through. There's too much ew don't know. Reid was frustrated at the lack of information. "Garcia, what do we know about possible connections between the two women?"

"So far, only that they're both blond and beautiful. They are both from Michigan, but from distant parts of the state. Kuyper College is a small religious college where Stacey was studying music. Michigan State is humongous. Laura was a math major there."

Reid interrupted. "There may be some connection with the majors. Music is essentially applied mathematics and physics. Studies have shown similar parts of the brain being used to accomplish mathematical calculations and to write or play music."

Morgan shook his head. "That seems like a pretty long reach for a connection, Reid. Garcia, what else have you got?"

"Other than what I've told you, there don't appear to be any family, work, church or school relationships between them. The police are still conducting interviews with family and friends, so maybe something will turn up."

"One can only hope," Emily sighed.

###################################################

The team dispersed for the remainder of the trip. JJ and Reid moved to the tail end of the plane. There hadn't even been time for anything but "hello" before boarding. Reid noticed some looks exchanged among the others, and was relieved to see smiles on their faces. At least they approved. He wasn't surprised that they all seemed to know. Telling Emily and Garcia was as effective as mass advertising.

"Hey." He sat down next to her.

"Hey yourself." JJ gave him the smile that always brightened his day.

"How's Henry? What did you do with him so early this morning?"

"Well, thank goodness for Karen. This is the first early departure we've had since Will left. I had discussed what might happen with Karen, and she said she'd be happy to take him." She chuckled. "I don't know if she was still as happy when I delivered him at 6:15 AM, but she was at least gracious. I'm going to have to find some way to express my great appreciation."

"My little man must have been confused. He was probably barely awake. Was he upset?"

"He cried a little, but sometimes he does that when I leave him anyway."

"Is that just since Will left?" He remembered how hard he'd taken it when his parents separated.

"Not entirely." JJ sighed. "But it definitely happens more now. Spence, I pray every day that I'm not hurting him with this."

He took her hand….just briefly, as it didn't seem appropriate while working…and squeezed his support. "I know I'm not a parent, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about….but it seems like _every_ parent disappoints _every_ child at some point. As I can recall a wise, young…._beautiful_….woman telling me, not so long ago…..We can only make our decisions out of love, and then hope for the best. We can never know what might have happened if we'd made another decision. But we can have a sense of how our child's life would be without love in it."

Both of them noticed his using the words "our child's life"…..but neither spoke of it.

JJ made a face. "I wish I could remember my own wisdom when it was necessary." She squeezed his hand to return the love. "Thanks, Spence. I really needed to hear that."

#######################################################################

Hotch handed out assignments when they arrived at the Lansing PD. The officers would be escorting them to their locations.

"Morgan and Reid, you handle the dump site for the first victim. Prentiss and Rossi, you've got the sorority house. JJ and I will stay here to set up and start talking with the families."

When they had a private moment in the conference room, Hotch turned to JJ. She'd grown used to the way he always seemed to project the first half of the conversation without saying anything. So she wasn't surprised when he started with, "So, are you happy?"

She smlled back at him. Although they hadn't had an open discussion about it, they had bonded as the two active parents on the team. And then as the two single parents on the team. "Yes, very."

"I don't have to ask about him. He's virtually glowing."

She smiled. "I guess we're going to have to work on his microexpressions."

"Try working on his macroexpressions first."

That got a laugh. And then she turned more serious. "Hotch, will this make a difference?"

He studied her a moment. "Not as a matter of policy. And not to our teamwork. But, if you don't mind, I'd rather not send you both out in the field together. There would be too many conflicting pressures….for you, and for me."

"Understood. I don't think Spence can survive seeing me with an unsub anyway. And I don't want to do him in so early in our relationship!"

Which got a smile from her boss.

############################################################

Morgan and Reid were looking into the shallow grave. Since it had first been discovered, there had been rain, and a lot of foot traffic. There was little to be learned from the grave itself. They hoped the setting would be more informative.

Morgan observed, "The unsub didn't bring the body very far into the woods. What does that tell us?"

"Not much. It could mean the unsub wasn't strong enough to carry the body, or it could mean he didn't fear the body being discovered, or even that he _wanted_ the body to be discovered."

"But since we don't even know where the kill site was, it could mean that he walked her in here and killed her on site."

"If it was even a 'he'." Reid was anxious to get going. "We're not making any progress here. I need to get back so I can start working up some maps. Even if we have very little solid information, I can plot what we do have and see if it tells us anything."

As they headed back to their SUV, Morgan turned to Reid. "Hey, Kid."

"Yeah?"

"I'm happy for you. For you and JJ. You deserve it."

"Thanks, Morgan." Reid was blushing.

"If you ever need any advice or anything…"

"I'll know who to ask." He hadn't planned to discuss any of this with Morgan, but since Emily hadn't been much help, he thought, maybe…..

"Hey, Morgan? There actually is something I need help with. Is there any way to know what to do or not do in a relationship? I mean, I've never done this before and I don't know if I'm doing it right."

"What exactly are you talking about, Reid?"

"Like, when should I call her, how often should I call her, am I being a nuisance, do I bring her gifts, or flowers or candy or wine, do I take her out or should we stay at home, are there special occasions I should know about….."

"Reid! Enough!" Morgan interrupted him when Reid stopped for breath. "I've been doing this a lot longer than you have, and it was never that complicated for me."

"Have you ever gone out with someone more than once?"

Reid watched as Morgan opened and closed his mouth….twice….but said nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 4**

Reid was puzzling before his map. He had such faith in the power of geographical profiling that it frustrated him tremendously when he couldn't see a pattern. The arrival of Prentiss and Rossi saved him from his dilemma.

Emily described the scene they'd encountered at the sorority house. "They're a mess over there. Nineteen extremely frightened young women, all huddling together."

"And we had nothing to offer them but warnings." Rossi was as frustrated as Reid. "We need something to break here, and fast."

JJ returned to the conference room from her interview with Stacey's parents. Reid noticed how upset she was. "They're an older couple, and she was their only child. I think the only solace they have is that she was found quickly. How awful to be left wondering and hoping, when really there is no hope."

Morgan inquired, "Were they able to tell you anything that might help us break this case?"

"Apparently they were also a close knit family, as was…..is…..Laura's."

They all understood the self-correction. While none of them…..except Garcia…..would have admitted to being superstitious, they all felt the need to speak in the present tense about a potential victim, until forced to do otherwise. Maybe it had no effect on what actually happened, but it helped them keep a strong sense of urgency and added momentum to the case. Without that, many of their 'saves' might have been lost.

In the next instant, that momentum was lost. Their Lansing PD liaison, Detective Larsson, entered the room looking dejected. "We found her. Laura Collins. Her body was discovered, along Highway 127."

Hotch was on it immediately. "Morgan, Prentiss, go to the scene. Reid, Rossi, you have victimology. JJ, you and I will speak with her parents." They were still in another room at the station house.

As the rest dispersed, Rossi quizzed Detective Larsson. "What do we know about how she was found?"

"Highway 127 is a restricted access road, like the interstate. The body was found in a narrow swath of land that separates the highway from the back edge of a school ball field. Poor kids jumped the fence to retrieve a ball, saw something colorful, went to look and found the body. I guess they were pretty traumatized."

Reid had been plotting on the map. "How was she identified so quickly?"

Larsson knew he was about to give them part of the unsub's signature. "She was wearing her school ID."

########################################################

Morgan was on speaker. "This is a fresher scene than what Reid and I saw at the first dump site. There's definite evidence that she was dragged, probably wrapped in something. So she was probably killed somewhere else. And she has the same burn marks as the first victim."

"Morgan, they told us she was wearing her school ID. How is it attached?" Reid was curious.

"With a leather lanyard..."

"Just like Stacey Osborn." Emily finished for him.

Hotch got on another phone. "Garcia, both victims were wearing their school IDs around their necks when they were found, both attached to leather lanyards. See what you can come up with on where they might have gotten them."

Garcia gulped. This was definitely a needle-in-a-haystack task. "I'll do my best, sir."

He turned to JJ. "I think it's time we got both sets of parents together. There has got to be a connection, and we need to find it before we've got another family to talk to. Reid, Rossi, we'll move them to the interrogation room, so you can observe from outside."

############################################################

Reid watched as the mothers embraced each other, weeping. He admired beyond words that JJ had so often been able to offer comfort to families in the throes of such unspeakable grief.

Stacey's mother cried, "This is so silly, but I keep thinking, 'this can't be happening, not so close to Mother's Day. She always made the day special for me. Now it's coming and my only child is gone."

Laura's mother was still stunned with the news of losing her daughter. "I have three other children, but I won't be celebrating this weekend. Instead, we'll be planning a funeral." She made the statement with such flat affect that JJ found herself wincing.

Despite her being a profiler now, Hotch continued to utilize JJ's skills as a liaison. In situations like this one, he let her take the lead. Her voice always brought a calming effect to the interaction.

"We want to say again how very sorry we are for your losses. Nothing can change what has already happened, but we are committed to finding the person who did this and seeing that they are punished."

JJ hesitated before her next statement. It required the kind of altruistic response that many families weren't ready to make. "And we want to find this person….we call him an unsub, or unknown subject….before he has a chance to harm anyone else."

They were still following her, so she continued. "We need to find any possible connections between your daughters. Friends, acquaintances, interests, travel. Would it be all right if we asked you all some specific questions?"

At their nods, JJ turned the interview over to Hotch.

"We know you've been asked some of these questions before, but we need to ask them again. Would either of the girls have visited the other's school?"

The parents couldn't be certain, but had no such knowledge. Stacey's father thought it was a question better put to her college roommate. They also didn't know of any visits to each other's home towns, high schools, or summer job placements. Both girls played the piano, but Laura was more a 'dabbler', while Stacey had incorporated it into her major.

After 30 minutes of unproductive interview, Reid sent in a question. "Ask them about the lanyards."

"I think she got it from her roommate, as a gift," Stacey's mother reported.

"Laura bought hers from a crafter in Grand Rapids. I remember, because I admired it and she said she'd get me one to use at work when she went back to the arts festival next month," her mother said.

"Oh, Stacey loved that festival. She'd go every year." Mrs. Osborn mourned, "She was supposed to perform there this year. She'd even gone up to rehearse at the venue. Now she'll never perform again."

Mrs. Collins' commiserated. "Laura had been there too. Her boyfriend is studying architecture, and the architecture students create a project called 'Building Art' every year. I think they went to look at the venue as well. There must be a date when all of the participating artists can go there to prepare."

Outside the room, Reid was getting excited. "Grand Rapids is only about an hour from here." And he went back to the map.

Rossi got on the phone. "Garcia, get us all the information you can on an arts festival held in Grand Rapids in June."

############################################################

The police were bringing in food for the task force. Before they gathered back into the conference room, Reid had a moment alone with JJ.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay. I know we always think it's harder when it's a young child, but really, _everybody_ is _somebody's_ child. And no matter whether we catch this unsub or not, we'll never bring those women back their children."

Reid sighed. She was right. "But I don't think our unsub is done. We might be able to spare another family the same grief." He changed the subject. "How's Henry? Have you heard from Karen?" He was finding that the more time he spent with Henry, the more he missed him when they were apart.

"He's fine. He'll probably stay with her tonight. I think we'll all be having a late evening, and that will include Garcia."

"Well, if you talk with him, send him a hug and a kiss from his Uncle Spence."

"If we have time, you can help me 'read' Little Star to him later." And Reid very much hoped there would be time.

##################################################################

The meal was interrupted by more bad news. Detective Larsson had been called from the room and returned with a report of yet another missing college coed. This one was also from Michigan State, and her abduction may have been witnessed.

"Ingrid Thompson was to have met her boyfriend outside the library at 2 this afternoon. When she didn't show, he went to the off campus house she shared with four other girls. The front door was open and furniture in the living room was knocked over. He called the police and the first responders knew enough about the prior cases to alert the task force."

Morgan observed, "If this is our unsub, he's accelerated his timeline. He's becoming more unstable."

Larsson was nodding. "The uniforms spoke with some of the neighbors. An older couple across the street may have heard a scream, but admittedly had their television on, so couldn't be sure. The female of the couple is a 'window watcher' however, and is very sure she saw a white minivan in the driveway earlier today."

"Great…a white minivan. Because nobody drives them." Rossi didn't even attempt to temper his sarcasm.

"No, just every unsub in the world." Emily was equally underwhelmed with their 'lead'.

Hotch wanted everyone back on track. "Okay, JJ, Rossi, you head to the abduction scene. Morgan, Reid, you've got the boyfriend. Prentiss and I will go back to the college to interview friends and classmates."

For now, at least, Hotch wanted to keep Reid fully occupied whenever he had JJ in the field. He knew the genius was capable of envisioning every scenario, and calculating every conceivable set of odds, to determine if, when and how a teammate would be in danger. And especially when that teammate was JJ. Reid was almost as much of a worrier as was Garcia.

#########################################################################

The entire task force was gathered back in the conference room by midnight. Very little else had been uncovered, except for the fact that Ingrid Thompson also owned one of the leather lanyards. It wasn't known if she'd been wearing it when she was taken. But the arts festival was looking promising as a nidus of contact among the three young women.

Emily was hoping for more. "So, we have some progress with our victimology, but we've got nothing on the unsub. This festival hosts hundreds of artists and performances, and employs a huge number of people. How does that help us?"

Morgan got on the phone with Garcia. "Baby Girl, cross reference the employees of the festival, the artists, and all students and faculty from both colleges."

JJ tacked on, "And look for juried artists who might travel craft fairs in Michigan. Maybe we can try to find our lanyard-maker."

"Will do, my loves." They could hear the weariness in Garcia's voice. Not only was it even later there, but she'd been given a series of impossible and fruitless tasks this day. She wasn't used to such lack of success."

As Garcia signed off, JJ noticed Reid with that look. That narrow-eyed, brain-going-a-thousand-miles-a-minute look that he got when his synapses were rapidly firing. He was staring at the case board. Not the map, the case board. She motioned to the others to quiet down.

After she'd given him time, she asked, "What do you see?"

"The initials. There's a reason the unsub left the IDs on the victims. He wanted us to see the names. Stacey Osborn, Laura Collins, Ingrid Thompson. S..O..L..C…I….T."

He wrote the letters as he spoke them, and then stared again….not staring, really, but moving his eyes back and forth like a typewriter. The locals on the task force were looking at one another and then at the team, incredulous. But they noticed the team sitting on the edges of their seats, awaiting something. The locals knew someone had mentioned the guy was a genius, but this seemed a little out there.

Now Hotch asked, "What do you see, Reid?"

"I see him forming a word. But I don't know which one. It could be 'SOLSTICE' or it could be 'CLOISTER'. If it's 'SOLSTICE', he could be giving us a timeline. But the solstice is pretty far out from here, over a month, and his acceleration would speak against that. I think it's 'CLOISTER'. He's either giving us a place or he's telling us something about himself."

"What would that be?" Rossi asked.

"A cloister is a building with religious implications. It is supposed to separate the religious from the world. In medieval times, it was used to separate the monks from the serfs, or workmen."

"So maybe he's telling us he's a separate, superior being. And he's punishing the victims for being worldly?" Emily posited.

Morgan was back on the phone. "Garcia, see if you can locate any cloisters in the Lansing area. Better include Grand Rapids in that as well."

"Look at abbeys too, Garcia, and monasteries " Emily added. "They might go under those titles."

The task force was reclaiming a little bit of its energy. From across the room, JJ gave Reid a smile and a look that said, "I'm proud of you!" Which he accepted with his own small smile.

Morgan's phone sounded. "You're on speaker, Garcia. That was fast." He was anticipating her reporting another failed lead, but he was wrong.

Garcia was triumphantly excited. "There are no monks, but there is ….or was….a monastery in Grand Rapids. An order of Catholic nuns, Carmelites to be specific, were temporarily housed in an old convent near the cathedral while they built their monastery in Green Bay, Wisconsin. They moved out about twenty years ago."

Reid was on it. "Green Bay is across Lake Michigan. The unsub wouldn't cross such a large geographical area….not on this timeline, anyway. It's got to be the former monastery."

They all got ready to head out. Hotch found himself in a dilemma. He could keep Reid and JJ from simultaneously being in danger during the investigation, but when it came to the take-down, he needed all of his bodies, and minds, available. It couldh't be helped. If he could manipulate something at the scene, he would.

#####################################################################

JJ and Reid shared a backseat on the way to the abandoned monastery. In the dark, they held hands, and each gave the other a 'be careful' squeeze. JJ felt moved to look 'I love you' at Reid just before they arrived.


	5. Chapter 5

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 5**

The place was dark. Completely dark. The team and the task force set up two blocks away. They didn't want the lights of the vehicles to alert the unsub. Garcia had come through on her charge to find a copy of the building plan for the site.

Hotch made his assignments. He and Reid would handle the right sided entrance and head to the basement, JJ and Rossi the left and head upstairs, and Morgan and Prentiss would go in the front, and handle the main floor.

Each of the entrances to the building had been padlocked, and all of the locks looked to be in place, so each team had a set of bolt cutters. Hotch and Reid found they didn't need theirs. The lock was in place, but the chain had been cut.

As they entered the building, they could hear music. It was faint, but Reid was still able to recognize it as Gregorian chant. He and Hotch followed the sound to the basement, taking each step slowly in the pitch dark. They couldn't signal one another because the absence of windows in the stairwell eliminated the possibility of even the dimmest of night light.

As he could feel his foot hit the floor at bottom of the staircase, Reid felt a tap on his shoulder and heard a faint whisper from Hotch. "I've got the doorknob. Follow my arm and take the door. I'll go ahead into the hallway."

Reid did as instructed, then followed Hotch into a space that, thanks to some high windows, had very faint light. Their eyes had adjusted to the level of brightness, and they were able to make out where they were. The sound of the music was much louder now, and they followed it down the hallway. Several small corridors seemed to branch off from where they were. At one of them, the music drew them left. Here, they could see flickering light ahead of them.

Hotch motioned to Reid to notify the others. He stepped into a room along the corridor and let the music mask his whispered alert. As they drew nearer to the room, they could hear someone humming along with the chant. Reid signaled Hotch that he would take point. As he reached the doorway, he could see several lit candles scattered around the room, and a portable CD player operating. He could also see a male subject looking at an obviously terrified young woman, gagged and bound to a chair.

Reid signaled Hotch that they'd found their victim and perpetrator, and then covered Hotch as the latter led the way into the room.

The unsub caught the look in the victim's eyes and turned around to see Hotch's weapon trained on him. He was holding a knife, which he promptly held to the victim's head. Hotch moved to his right hoping to draw the unsub's attention away from both the doorway and the victim. When the unsub turned with him, Reid slipped into the room.

By now the other two teams were following the path Reid and Hotch had taken. With the unsub located, there was no need to maintain darkness, so they were able to accomplish the journey in a fragment of the time. They arrived to see Hotch in his standoff with the unsub, the knife still at the victim's head and Reid moving stealthily behind the man.

JJ held her breath. She knew Spence too well. He simply wouldn't shoot the man in the back. And the rest of them weren't positioned to shoot without risking the victim. She knew he would try to disarm the unsub. She held her gun steady as she hoped she would be able to take a shot before Spence could get hurt.

Then she noticed that Morgan had dropped his gun. He was coiled, prepared to attack the moment Reid did. In the ensuing seconds, Reid grabbed the man's knife hand with both of his and turned him around. The unsub was strong, and managed to plunge the knife forward. It hit above Reid's vest, and drew blood. Morgan leapt upon the unsub and wrangled the knife from him. He and Rossi managed to cuff the man while Emily and Hotch kept him in their line of fire.

Reid had been knocked to the floor, but managed to get himself up, noted a very relieved JJ. She kept her eyes on him as she undid the bonds of the victim. Ingrid Thompson had already been burned with a cigarette, and was wearing the leather lanyard and student ID that would have identified her body. But she was alive, and would be going home to her family.

JJ turned Ingrid over to Emily's ministrations. She didn't care if they were working, she didn't care if it was a "public display of affection". She walked directly over to Reid and into his embrace. He knew he'd frightened her and wanted to assure her he was not hurt badly. "It's not deep, JJ, and it's not arterial. I'm sure I'll be all right with a couple of stitches…..maybe even just a bandaid."

"Sure," she said, "you'll recover from being stabbed, but who will save me from the heart attack I just had?" Her smile told him she was kidding…..maybe.

################################################################

As they left the ED, Emily called to fill them in on what had been learned. The unsub, Michael Waters, was a previously diagnosed schizophrenic who'd become delusional. Like many of the mentally ill, he had become homeless and set himself up in the cloister. He thought he was on a mission to rid the world of the "good angels", who were his young, beautiful, blond victims. He had indeed encounterd them at the rehearsal session for the arts festival. Each had apparently been wearing an ID that prominently displayed her name, and his convoluted mind took that as a command to create a message. Ingrid's family were overjoyed. In a touching turn, both the Osborn and Collins families had praised the team for finding the final victim alive, despite the loss of their daughters.

On the plane, JJ sat close by a bandaged Reid. The ED had outfitted him with a sling as well, for a shoulder muscle laceration. "Henry will be very impressed with that, Spence."

"He won't be afraid, will he? That I got hurt?"

"Not as afraid as his mother was."

"I'm sorry, JJ. You know it's part of the job."

"Will _you_ know it's part of the job, if it happens to me?"

"That's different."

She looked at him, laughing. "How?"

"Well, because." She didn't look like she was buying his detailed explanation, so he added, "You're JJ!"

At that, she rolled her eyes, put her head on his good shoulder, and fell asleep. He did the same, leaning on her.

When they landed, Reid assured JJ he was able to drive, so she let him go home alone. But he made her promise to give him time with Henry on Saturday. "What's special about Saturday?"

"It's between us guys. You'll just have to find something else to do." Reid was remembering something the victim's mothers had said about the coming weekend. It was Mother's Day.

#################################################################

Saturday morning Henry had the door open before Reid could knock.

"Uncle Spence!" Reid bent down to hug him. Lifting was still an issue with his bad shoulder.

"Hi, Henry. Are you ready for a secret mission?"

Was he ready? The four year old's feet couldn't stop moving.

"Mommy, Mommy! Uncle Spence is taking me on a secret mission!"

JJ came from the kitchen laughing. "I think we're going to have to work on the 'secret' part, little man."

She continued on to Reid and gave him a short peck. They figured that would be all right in front of Henry.

"Your sling is gone. Is it supposed to be?" She was remembering other injuries he'd tried to minimize.

"Yes, ma'am. The doctor said I should only wear it if I felt pain. Which I don't." _Which is only a little white lie. _He was still concerned about Henry being scared.

Henry was vaguely following their conversation. "Did you get a boo-boo, Uncle Spence?"

"A little one, Henry. It's almost all better now."

Henry wasn't done. "Did you cry?"

"No, he didn't, Henry." _But I almost did_, JJ thought. "Uncle Spence is very brave."

Henry already knew that, so he moved on in his conversation. "Where are we going, Uncle Spence?"

"Well, it wouldn't be a secret if I told you in front of your mother, now would it? How about I grab your booster seat and you just get in the car?" And to JJ, he said, "And how about you be gone when we get back-in say, an hour?"

Her eyebrows went up. "You want me to disappear?" She smiled because he looked like he was enjoying himself so much.

"Just for a couple of hours. Go shopping, have your nails done, whatever. Just don't come back until after 3."

#########################################################################

An hour later, Henry and his Uncle Spence returned with their supplies. Reid had a lot to teach his young apprentice in a short period of time. But his student was highly motivated.

JJ looked around warily when she returned from her banishment. The house looked the same. Nothing was broken, nothing messy, no huge projects under way. No evidence of a secret mission. She found Henry and Spence in the kitchen, noshing on cookies and milk.

"Hi, guys. What were you up to while I was out?"

Henry looked at Spence conspiratorially and giggled. "We can't tell you, Mommy. It's a secret."

JJ tried pouting. "You mean, you can't tell your own mother?"

Henry was briefly uncertain, but a raised eyebrow from his godfather convinced him to resist the technique. "No, Mommy. I can't tell you."

Reid assured him. "You can tell her tomorrow."

That made Henry happy. "I'll tell you tomorrow, Mommy. After the surprise." And he giggled again.

############################################################3

After Henry had gone down for the night, JJ and Reid settled on the sofa. She noticed him wince as he shifted his position.

"Ohh, you are so busted. You're still supposed to be wearing your sling, aren't you?"

He had the grace to look guilty. "I didn't want to have to explain anything to Henry, JJ. What we do, kids shouldn't have to know about."

"No one should have to know about it," she agreed, shaking her head. "But you could have just told him you had an accident."

"If the day comes when I can't hide something, I'll tell him. Until then, why worry him?"

JJ turned serious at his last statement. "Spence, this wasn't the worst thing that's happened to you, but it could have been. An inch to the side, an inch deeper, and it could have been very serious. Life can change in an instant, we both know that." She shifted her seat so that she was facing him. She wasn't sure exactly how to say what she wanted to say.

"With our work, neither of us is guaranteed safety, I know that. But please, please, please never take an unnecessary chance." She put her hand up when she saw he meant to interrupt. "I'm not saying you took a chance with this unsub. You only did what you had to do. It just made me really think it through. I know you have to focus on your work…..we both do…but please also remember that you have me and Henry now. If we're going to be together, Henry and I have to be part of every decision you make."

Reid took a moment to absorb it, then took her hand. "JJ….." He was looking at her so intently she thought she could physically feel it. "JJ, I've never mattered enough to anyone before to have to make them a consideration. Even my mother would have forgotten me eventually. So it's true I'm not used to it. But I am used to having you and Henry in my thoughts every waking moment. I promise I'll take you with me into every decision, in every situation. I love you too much not to."

JJ closed her eyes and uttered a silent prayer of thanks before embracing him. He kissed her as they let go and they lost themselves in one another for a while.

As Reid was leaving, JJ invited him back for brunch the following day. "Isn't it Mother's Day? Would you rather just be with Henry?"

"I can share my Mother's Day with you as well." She realized it was his first without his mother. "Just be here for ten."

He kissed her again. "Good night, JJ. Sweet dreams."

###################################################################

The next morning, JJ awakened to rustling in the kitchen. _Henry's up early_, she thought_. I guess he's hungry._

Before she could get out of bed, she heard little feet padding her way. Usually Henry ran everywhere he went, but he seemed to be moving more slowly this morning. When the door pushed open, she saw why. Henry was carrying a tray…..very carefully…..with a bowl of cereal and a juice pack. There was a red rose laid across the top of the tray…and another, curiously, hanging out of Henry's sleeve.

"Henry, did you make Mommy breakfast?"

"Breakfast in bed, Mommy. Uncle Spence practiced with me."

JJ took the tray from him before she had milk all over her floor. Scooping Henry up, she hugged him tight. As she let him down, he reached behind her ear and pulled out a rose. _The one from his sleeve_, she saw. As he gave it to her, he proclaimed, with a smile a mile wide, "Happy Mother's Day, Mommy! I made magic for you!"

"Wow, Henry. I didn't know you could do magic. Did Uncle Spence practice that with you too?"

"I can't tell you, Mommy. Uncle Spence says 'a magician never tells his secrets'."


	6. Chapter 6

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 6**

Spence was never late. So JJ was worried when 10: 30 came and went without him. Her mind went immediately to bad things. Maybe his injury was worse than she thought. Maybe he was too tired to drive home last night, and had an accident. Maybe….

Her worry was interrupted by the doorbell. "Spence, you're all right!"

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" He didn't understand until he saw her look at her watch, which prompted him to look at his. "Oops! I didn't realize. I had something I had to do, and I guess the time got away from me." He took in the relief on her face. "I'm sorry I worried you. Will this make up for it?"

And he pulled a bouquet of yellow roses from behind his back. "Happy Mother's Day!"

She smiled at him. "Thank you. You're forgiven. Just remember the flower thing should you ever need to be forgiven again."

"Do you want to know why they're yellow roses?" Apparently it was a rhetorical question, because without waiting for her to reply, he went on. "Yellow roses stand for friendship…..which we have long had….and for get well, which really doesn't apply here. But mostly, they stand for joy, which you bring to me every day."

She leaned up to kiss him. "And you, to me." Adding, with a grin, "That would work too, by the way…..if you ever needed to be forgiven."

"Do I need to start keeping a file?"

As she led Reid into the house, JJ noted, "These aren't the only flowers I've gotten today. I received two beautiful red roses from another young man this morning." That young man looked up from his train set with a huge grin.

"I surprised Mommy this morning, Uncle Spence! I made her breakfast, like we practiced, and I made her a rose from magic!"

Reid watched mother and son beaming at each other, and was pleased with his handiwork.

JJ gave him another kiss. Thanks, Spence, you made it really special for him. For both of us."

"Anything for my lady…..and my apprentice."

Just then the doorbell announced a delivery of more flowers. JJ was confused about who might have sent them until she read the card. "Cher, You're still the best mother in the world. With love and appreciation, Will."

Reid watched JJ's reaction while suppressing his own. She smiled sadly. "These are from your dad, Henry. He's wishing me a Happy Mother's Day too."

Henry jumped up. "Is he here? Is Daddy here?"

"No, honey, he just sent them."

"Oh, okay." He didn't look sad, exactly. Just…deflated.

The adults shared a look. "Are you okay?" Reid asked her.

She was nodding, but looking wistful. "Yeah, I'm okay. I knew this kind of thing would happen. I'd just forgotten it might happen today."

Reid decided a change of subject was in order. "Well, I know you've had your cereal already, but are you up for some eggs?" Adding, to Henry, "And do I have to ask if you're up for some chocolate chip pancakes?"

"Yay! I love chocolate chip pancakes!" Henry had made a quick recovery from his disappointment.

"I think the whole world knows that by now, little man. Think I saw it on the news last week."

"You did, Uncle Spence?"

JJ was laughing. "He's just kidding, Henry." And to Reid, "Spence, I can make it."

"Oh, no, my lady. On Mother's Day, you feast, but you do not cook. Stay out of my kitchen."

#####################################################################

The 'feast' put Henry in a sugar coma. He went down for an early nap, leaving JJ and Reid to themselves.

"Spence, this is the first year you don't have your mother for Mother's Day. How are you doing?"

He was shaking his head. "Holidays were never really big for us. Usually my mom had trouble remembering what day it was, so after my dad left, we didn't celebrate most of them."

"Not even Christmas? Or Thanksgiving?" Just when she thought she understood his childhood, another layer peeled back.

"She didn't remember any of them, JJ. I knew about them because of going to school. So sometimes I would try to get her interested. I even brought home a Christmas tree once, but when I tried to decorate it, she saw the wires and thought the lights were bugged. Same with Thanksgiving….'.a government plot to subdue the masses', she called it."

She squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry, Spence. I didn't know. That must have been so hard for you."

He gave a rueful laugh. "There was one Mother's Day I tried give her a present. We couldn't afford much, but I did manage to get her a box of candy."

"She must have liked that, no?"

He sighed. "She made me take a bite out of each one to prove it wasn't poisoned." He looked away. "I settled for giving her cards after that."

JJ put her arms around him and kissed his shoulder, comforting the adult Spencer because the child he'd been was out of reach.

He kissed her hand in thanks. "What about your mother, JJ? Isn't she missing you today?"

She sat back, started hugging a pillow. "Mother's Day was …..is…a bittersweet day in the house I grew up in, Spence. Ever since my sister died, we all struggled with how, or whether , to celebrate it. I mean, we wanted my mom to know how much we loved her, but every time we did, she was reminded that there was one child who would never be able to do that again."

JJ stared off into the distance, clearly revisiting an earlier time in her life. "Whenever people would ask her how many children she had, she couldn't answer. Couldn't bring herself to say that one of them had died. I understood, because I was equally paralyzed when anyone asked me how many siblings I had."

Reid watched her for a moment and then put his arm around her. "I never even thought about that, JJ. I'm so sorry." He knew that he, too, was comforting the adult for the trauma of the child.

"I can't imagine losing a child, Spence. Can't imagine the pain of it. We've seen it so often, with so many cases. But even so, and even having lost a sister, I can't imagine losing a child."

Without speaking it out loud, they both thought back a few weeks, to the time they thought they might lose Henry. JJ put her arms around Reid's waist and her head on his chest. The silence was comfortable, and full of gratitude and the love they had for each other and for Henry.

#########################################################

A three player soccer match took up most of the afternoon. The 'boys' teamed up against JJ.

"After all, you're practically a professional!" Reid explained. And had she not let Henry score a few goals, she would have proven him right.

Reid insisted on making dinner as well. JJ was aware he could cook, but wasn't used to handing him control of her kitchen. This day, she was sent to rest on the patio while he and Henry created a pasta masterpiece…..with butter noodles on the side, for Henry.

"I could get used to this, you know," she called in through the window.

Reid was grinning. "I hope you get a chance to."

After dinner, Henry insisted on repeating his "flower out of the ear" magic trick multiple times, and received a round of applause after each. He begged Spence to teach him more.

"I will, little man. We're going to have to wait for your hands to grow for some of them, but I'll see what I can find for a magician of your size."

#############################################################

JJ and Reid were in what had become their usual positions on the sofa. She was curled into his side, and he was running his fingers through her hair.

As he looked around them, Reid could see the flowers he'd brought, as well as the ones Will had sent. He remembered Henry's response to thinking his dad might have come to visit. This was all so new to all of them, they had no idea how it would play out.

"Do you think Henry was disappointed that Will wasn't here?"

"I don't think the fact that he wasn't here for Mother's Day made a difference to Henry. He probably doesn't even remember it from last year."

Her statement made Reid wonder how Will might have celebrated it with the mother of his child. It was another reminder of the situation they were all in.

JJ continued. "But he does miss his dad." She sat up, realizing they'd never really talked about this in detail_. This is the time, I guess._

Facing Reid, she began. "It's been eight months since Will moved out. Henry did better than I thought he would in the beginning, probably because Will was staying nearby and could see him almost every day. But he missed his dad being there for breakfast and bedtime. He kept asking me when his daddy was coming back."

Reid could see tears forming in her eyes.

"I almost gave in and asked Will to come back." She saw Reid's brows raise at that.

"Please don't look at me that way. I didn't do it. I knew it wouldn't be right. I wasn't thriving in the relationship. I knew Henry needed a mother who was whole."

"JJ, I'm not questioning you or anything you did. It's just that I don't want to be the obstacle to Henry being happy. I don't think I could be happy if he wasn't." He thought, but did not say, _even if it means losing you…but please, please God, don't ask me to do that._

_Spoken like a dad._ JJ was also thinking something without saying it. More and more she was thinking of Spence in that way. She thought Henry might be as well.

"Spence, this all happened months before you and I were together. And _many _months, even a couple of years, after Will and I _should_ have lived apart."

She studied him, wanting to make sure he understood. "Will was never happy living in DC. He's a New Orleans boy through and through, and the lifestyle is just too different. Eventually he decided that, if we weren't going to be together, he needed to move back."

"And leave Henry here?" Reid didn't think he would have been able to make the same decision.

JJ had a strange expression on her face. She looked briefly to Reid and then away again. "Actually, I think there was someone in New Orleans he hoped to get together with. Someone he'd been involved with in the past."

Reid narrowed his eyes. "JJ, was he seeing her while he was with you?"

"No, Spence, no. He was faithful to me. But he's someone who needs to be in a relationship, and that wasn't happening here. It was a hard decision for him, but he thought he needed to leave, even if it meant leaving Henry behind."

"And how did Henry respond to that?" Reid was carrying some guilt here. This had apparently been happening during his rift with JJ over the Emily deception. He'd not been visiting during that time, and now mentally kicked himself for leaving JJ and Henry unsupported.

"We went through a pretty rough period, lots of meltdowns …..for both of us, really. We were both emotionally exhausted. And until I could set up a good support system, I was physically exhausted as well."

"JJ, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you then. It was wrong of me to stay away."

"It's all water under the bridge, Spence. Maybe we wouldn't be where we are today…here, together, in love…"and she smiled at him…"if we hadn't gone through what we did before. We'll never know. Maybe…."

He finished her sentence with his own smile, "Maybe we should just be thankful." She nodded her agreement.

She was startled when he jumped up. "That reminds me…...I have something for you."

He ran out to the car and returned with a card and a package. "What's that?"

"A little something for Mother's Day. It's what made me late."

"Spence, you already gave me flowers!"

But he noticed she looked pleased. JJ opened the card first. It wasn't a Mother's Day card, but rather one whose cover showed a striking photo of the serene waters of a lake, with the sun breaking through threatening clouds. Inside, the card was blank except for the message Reid had hand-written.

'To Henry's Mother, The little boy I love so much is blessed to have a mother who knows how to make someone feel loved and cared for. She sees his talents, and nurtures them. She sees his faults and loves him through them. She senses his frailties and holds him strong. I know, because she does the same for me. I, too, am blessed to have her in my life. The picture on the cover is what is happening in my life because of you. You are precious to me, JJ. I love you. Spence.'

For a few moments, she simply sat there, staring at the card, spilling tears. When she looked at him, Reid assured her. "I mean every word of that, JJ. My life is brighter," he looked away, shaking his head, then looked back to her, "so much brighter, with you in it."

She reached up, took his face into her hands, and made sure she had his eyes. "Spencer Reid, you are the light in my life. I love you." And she kissed him deeply.

Reid responded in kind, but pushed her away before he could lose control. He knew they were going to have to figure out what to do about the next step in their relationship, and very soon. But for now, there was a present to be dealt with.

At his urging, she opened the package. Inside was a framed photo of herself with Henry. It had obviously been taken on one of their outings with Reid_. The zoo, I think._ The two of them were looking at each other and laughing. It was just possible to see the reflection of each in the other's eyes.

"That's how I see you two whenever I think of you. Happy, and totally into each other."

She looked at him intently. "We are, Spence. But there's room for one more. I want to make sure you know that."

He was smiling as he reached for her. "I do_." And one day I'll want to say those words again, and hear you say them to me._


	7. Chapter 7

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 7**

She'd grown to count on the time spent with her journal. It settled her, helped her to sort out all of the thoughts and emotions of this time in her life. Several days had passed since her last entry, and she was feeling the need of some release. So after Reid left, despite the hour, JJ pulled out her journal and began to write.

"Today was Mother's Day. Some part of me was approaching it with sadness, as I am living apart from the man who made me a mother. But wait…was it really Will who made me a mother? Or is it Henry who makes me a mother, in an ongoing way, every day? He teaches me so much, it's scary. And he's growing up so quickly! Today he brought me breakfast in bed. Granted, it was a bowl of cereal and a juice pack, but it was something I didn't expect to happen for years to come. And the rose! He pulled it from behind my ear, Spence's little magician apprentice. My sweet, sweet little man.

Spence. What do I tell you about Spence? That he made me cry with a handwritten card? No poetry was ever more moving than that. No words were ever more perfect. That he taught my son how to make me happy on Mother's Day….thrilling Henry in the process, he was so excited to learn magic! That more and more I wish Henry was _our _son. No, I would never wish for Will not to be his dad. They love each other too much. But Spence truly loves Henry, Henry loves him and I love them both, I wish we were actually a family. Maybe, really, we are.

Spence saved someone the other day. And he got hurt in the process. I guess I've known it could happen…..was _bound _to happen to one of us, really. But I was so frightened. I could have lost him in an instant. I made him promise not to take unnecessary chances, to put his relationship with Henry and me before everything else. I don't think it will be easy for him. He's so used to a solitary life, and it's been such a difficult one. I think some part of him hasn't cared if he lived or died. He's never believed anyone would miss him if he were gone."

As she was writing the last sentence, JJ watched a tear fall and stain the page. She wondered idly if someone reading this journal in some distant future would notice the stain and ponder on the woman who was brought to tears writing, and the man she wrote about.

###################################################################

###################################################################

Reid headed straight for the shower when he got home. These evenings spent with JJ were wonderful, frustrating, glorious, maddening, fulfilling…and yet leaving him feeling unfulfilled. He longed for the time when there would be no driving home afterwards, when he would already _be_ home. And he longed for the time when they could share that ultimate togetherness. He longed for intimacy.

They'd talked about it, but only tangentially. JJ had said she wanted to go slowly, wanted to be sure. He knew she hadn't done that with Will, and regretted that she hadn't been able to make that relationship work. Especially since it had produced a child.

Henry. Reid's thoughts were diverted to his godson. In some ways, he felt he was as much in love with Henry as he was with his mother. His days with Henry felt fuller, more magical…..which, considering his avocation, was saying something. He realized that part of his longing was for the intimacy of family life….. a life together with JJ and Henry. _And just maybe_, he surprised himself by thinking, _more children_. He could almost see it on the horizon, but it was distant, and he wasn't sure how to get there.

###################################################################

###################################################################

JJ yawned. She needed sleep. Mondays always came too soon, no matter how long the weekend was. But she had a little more for her journal first.

"I can feel Spence's yearning. I can see it in his eyes and I can feel it as well. And I recognize it because I share it. We've only been a couple for a very short time, but in so many of the most important ways, we've been together for years. That makes it very different from my relationship with Will. This one has a foundation, a solidity that I never felt with Will. I think this one is forever. I _hope_ it's forever. I _pray_ it's forever. If Spence is ever _really _wondering if anyone would ever miss him, I'll be right here waving both hands…..and Henry will as well. His love has made our lives more full, and we wouldn't be whole….we wouldn't be who we are….without him."

There was much more she needed to turn over in her head and her heart, JJ knew, but for now she needed to close her journal and ready herself for the week to come.

##################################################################

##################################################################

They got back from a case in Florida Thursday afternoon, so JJ invited Spence for dinner and a Henry-fix.

"Uncle Spence!"

"Hi, Henry." Reid scooped him up. A Henry-hug around the neck was worth its weight in gold_. I am a very rich man_, he thought.

"Uncle Spence, know what I did for show and tell today? I did magic! Miss Amy had flowers on her desk, and I took one and made it come out of her ear! She said I was a real mag….magi…magic maker!"

"Wow, Henry, you're getting to be a real pro at this. I'd better get busy finding you some new tricks."

"Well….Toby said I couldn't really make magic because I don't have a magic wand. Do you have one Uncle Spence?

He thought a minute. "No, Henry. I'm afraid I'm a muggle, and muggles aren't issued wands. We have to do everything with our hands."

"Am I a muggle too, Uncle Spence?"

JJ was listening to the conversation, intrigued to learn that Spence knew about muggles. Then she considered that he would relate to the story of the young boy wizard raised in a cupboard and beleaguered by evil.

Looking at JJ, Reid answered, "Well, your mom's pretty magical," gaining him a smile, "but yes, Henry, I think you and I are both muggles. But don't worry, I'll teach you how to make great magic with your hands. Remember, you already know one trick."

That placated Henry. "Okay, Uncle Spence. Wanna play soccer?" In an adult, this would be called 'flight-of-ideas', but in a four year old, it was normal.

They kicked the ball around until dinner. Afterwards, Reid insisted on cleaning up the kitchen so JJ could have some down time with her son.

JJ pulled Henry into her lap. "Hey, Buddy, I missed you these few days. Did you miss me?"

"I missed you this much, Mommy." And he threw both arms open wide. "Auntie Penelope told me when I miss you I should think of you and blow you a kiss. Did you get my kisses, Mommy?"

JJ silently blessed Auntie Penelope. "I sure did, little man. I got some on this cheek (pointing) and some on this cheek. Did you get mine?"

"I got them right here, Mommy." He was pointing to the top of his head, where she usually deposited her kisses. "And I think I got one from Uncle Spence, too."

She was intrigued. "Really? How did you know?"

"It tickled me from here," and he touched behind his right ear, "all the way to here." He was touching his nose.

She nodded knowingly, "Yep, that sounds like an Uncle Spence kiss, doesn't it?"

At bedtime, Henry was still full of questions. After he'd said his prayers, blessing his family, his friends, and the classroom pet turtle, and negotiating for a sunny day, he turned to Reid.

"What do you pray for, Uncle Spence?"

Reid was momentarily caught without words. He'd been having episodes of sensing something greater out there…something that he couldn't explain with science. Something that was not so much in his head as it was in his heart. But he was inexperienced and uncomfortable in dealing with the unexplainable. So far, he had largely handled it with avoidance. Still, he felt it was too important a matter for a glib response. And he noticed that JJ was interested in his answer as well.

"Hmm, what do I pray for? Well, Henry, I pray for the people I love to be happy, and healthy, just like you do. And," as he spoke, he reflected on the truth of what he was saying, "I say 'thank you' for the good things in my life, like you and your mom…and sunny days at the park…and ice cream."

"And chocolate chip pancakes?"

"And chocolate chip pancakes."

"Good night, Uncle Spence. Good night, Mommy."

"Sweet dreams, little man."

#############################################################

When they'd settled into the living room, JJ noticed Reid looked distracted.

"Is there something wrong? Something on your mind?"

He was silent for a few moments. She sensed he was deciding whether to say anything.

Apparently he'd reached a conclusion. "JJ, will you go on a date with me?"

She actually laughed. She hadn't seen that one coming at all. "A date?"

He was serious. "Yes, a date. I don't think we've ever had one." His little half smile was on his face. "Well, not one that worked, anyway." They both remembered the disastrous Redskins game, and the false start of Garcia's play.

He looked at her earnestly. "As much as I love being with you, and being with Henry…..we've never gone anywhere together, never done anything, just the two of us. And I just thought…"

"It would be very nice, Spence. I think you're right. We need some 'us' time, without Henry."

Both of them were thinking the same thing without saying it aloud. _We need to make sure that the two of us work alone, and not just with Henry. _

"Do you think you can get a sitter for Saturday?"

"I'll check with Karen tomorrow. I'm sure Garcia needs a little down time after having Henry the past few days. Any ideas about what to do?"

"Oh, right, I'll have to think of something." He'd forgotten that part. His inexperience was showing. _Might as well 'fess up_, he thought.

"JJ, it probably won't surprise you to hear that I'm not very experienced with this—the whole dating thing, and the whole boyfriend thing."

She was biting her cheeks to keep from smiling.

"I even asked Emily for advice, but she told me to just go with my gut. But my gut wasn't helping, so I asked Morgan.."

JJ exploded in laughter. Biting her cheeks hadn't helped a bit. "You asked Morgan? For dating advice? Spence!"

Even he had to laugh. "Yeah, well he didn't help a bit. So I'm on my own here, I guess. Is there anything you'd like to do?"

"How about dinner and dancing?"

"Dancing?" There was an audible gulp.

"It'll be okay. We can just do the slow dances. Unless you're feeling adventurous…"

He wasn't. "Slow dances it is. Provided Karen can help us out, I'll pick you up at 7 on Saturday." And he got up to go.

"You're leaving already? I thought we could…..you know…snuggle for a while?"

He smiled but shook his head. He knew he couldn't keep doing that without taking it further. Something was going to have to give. But what he said was, "Before our first date? JJ!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 8**

_Please, no case. Please, no case. Please, no case. _

The words were running through Reid's mind all day Friday_. Please, no case. I have a date!_ _And I have a lot to do to get ready._

JJ couldn't help smiling to herself as she watched him. He'd barely spoken to her all day, he was so preoccupied with making plans. Watching from Garcia's office, they both laughed to see Reid and Morgan with their heads together, and then a look of disbelief on Morgan's face.

"Uh-oh, JJ. Judging from Derek's reaction, I can only imagine what you're in for tomorrow."

JJ was protective. "Pen, whatever Spence has in store for us, I'm sure it will be wonderful… I hope." And then the two looked at each other and giggled.

They watched as Reid moved on to consult with Emily. He was earnestly discussing something with her, and she was waving him down to calm him. She got him to sit and take a breath. And then he started furiously taking notes.

Apparently word had leaked up to Hotch and Rossi. They saw the two senior agents standing at the railing, both of them laughing at what was going on below. It was a rare moment of pleasant anticipation for the BAU team, and they were savoring it.

##############################################################

Morgan knocked on Garcia's door and joined Penelope and JJ. "That boy is crazy, you know that, don't you, JJ?"

Garcia interjected, "Crazy about her, you mean, don't you Derek?" He was admonished by her look.

"It's all right, Morgan. He's just excited. I am too. This is really our first official date, you know."

Morgan was remembering. "Didn't you two go to a football game together, back when he was, what, twelve?"

The women both laughed. He _had _looked and seemed so young then. JJ responded with, "Well, that didn't really work as a date. More of an event. And for Spence, more like something to be endured."

"Well, I don't know if he's taking any of my advice, so don't blame me if this one doesn't go any better."

Garcia and JJ looked at each other. Neither was willing to actually speak it, so they both thought, really loudly, "_that's because he wants a second date!"_

_#############################################################################_

_#############################################################################_

Hotch gave Reid a scare when he called the team together late in the day. _No! No! I asked you nicely, please, no case!_

That prayer was answered when Hotch revealed he was simply announcing a new on-line report submission procedure and reviewing some administrative items before they broke for the weekend. The rest of the team held in their smiles at Reid's visible relief. Only JJ was aware that Hotch had actually diverted a case to another team. She'd overheard him on the phone when she stopped by his office. He realized what she'd heard when she mouthed "Thank you!" to him, and responded with that knowing smile. He knew that taking care of his unit was what he, the unit chief, was for.

As they were getting ready to leave, JJ stopped by Reid's desk. "Will I see you later?" They'd gotten into the habit of spending most evenings together.

He looked apologetic. "Not tonight, JJ. I've got something I have to do. But I'll see you at 7 tomorrow, right?"

She was worried he was making too big a deal of this. That was always a sure road to disappointment. "Spence, you don't need to go out of your way about anything. We can just have dinner and hang out tomorrow, if you'd rather."

He looked a little put out. "Dinner and dancing is what we said, and dinner and dancing is what we'll do." Then he was worried about imposing his will on her. "If you still want to, that is."

She realized she had to let him do this his way. "I do. I'll see you tomorrow night. I love you, Spence." And she kissed him goodbye.

"Love you too, JJ, " he said as she walked away. And then, to himself, added, "I must, or else I'm crazy." He was thinking of his plans for the evening.

_######################################################################  
######################################################################_

Saturday, promptly at 7, Spence rang the bell. He expected an excited Henry to come to the door, but it was JJ who answered…..and the house seemed unusually quiet. She saw him looking around.

"Karen took Henry back to her house. He'll spend the night there." She gave Reid a look as she added, "You know, in case we get home really late…..or whatever."

Reid's eyes widened at the thought of 'whatever'.

When he'd recovered himself, he noticed JJ again. "You look beautiful….as always." She was wearing a dress that managed to be both flowing and clingy at the same time….and the blue brought out the color in her eyes.

"And you, handsome….as always." Reid didn't normally give much thought to his appearance….his mind was usually otherwise engaged…..but he'd been determined to do his best tonight. He'd followed Emily's direction about the dark gray shirt and tie….JJ had apparently commented on it in the past.

"We have reservations for 7:30, so we'd better get going.

"Going where, exactly?" He'd kept her in the dark.

"To a restaurant of my choosing, at a location soon to be disclosed." She smiled at how much he seemed to be enjoying himself. There was definitely a noticeably greater level of confidence than there had been for the first two attempted dates.

The ReidMobile had been cleaned up again, this time missing even Reid's ever present coffee cup. As they headed out, Reid reached for JJ's hand and kissed the back of it, holding it briefly to his cheek.

"I love you, Jennifer Jareau."

She raised her brows at him. "Don't guys usually try that line at the end of the night?"

He gave her a sideways look back. "Only the guys who aren't _actually_ in love." "Which I am." "Very much."

She reached over and played with his hair. "And I love you, too, Spencer Reid."

They traveled slowly over the DC area highways, eventually making their way into Old Town Alexandria. Once JJ realized this was where they were headed, she clapped her hands. "I love this area! Can we walk the boardwalk later?" The area had become gentrified and was now a popular spot for restaurants and the arts, and drew a crowd to its boardwalk entertainment every weekend.

"Whatever my lady wants."

After finding street parking several blocks away, Reid escorted JJ to a small, dark Italian restaurant, complete with soft operatic music playing in the background. He seated her and then slid in next to her, in a booth near the fireplace.

"Spence, this is charming. I've never been here before. Have you?"

"No, but Rossi recommended it. He knows the owner….and he definitely knows Italian food."

JJ hadn't realized Rossi had been in on the date planning as well. She began to wonder if tonight's event would be on the agenda of the team's Monday morning meeting. _Should I prepare a report?_

The dinner was wonderful, starting with a lovely bottle of wine, "compliments of Mr. Rossi." The service was attentive, the food delicious. And JJ and Reid managed to spend the entire meal in a conversation that had nothing to do with work.

"Spence, this was a great idea. It's cozy, and romantic….just perfect."

He was pleased. Holding up his wine glass, he offered a toast "to the woman who completely changed my life. I've never felt so…so…..full,…..so….content….." He was struggling to find the right words. "I've never felt like I was 'home'. And now I do."

She lifted her glass as well. "And I…have never felt so loved."

Without even taking a sip, they each put down their glasses and ended their toast with a kiss. They didn't need the wine to become intoxicated.

After the meal, they strolled the boardwalk, holding hands and relishing the evening atmosphere. A caricaturist drew them together, leaving them with a permanent remembrance of their first date. Farther down the boardwalk, they encountered a gentleman who was making amazing music simply rubbing the rims of glasses filled with water.

Reid simply couldn't help himself. "Did you know that every object has its own resonance, or rate at which it vibrates? Some are at a pitch that's not audible to the human ear. But crystal has a vibratory rate that is audible, and rubbing a finger along the rim brings out the sound. Putting different amounts of water in them changes the weight of each glass, thereby changing the vibratory rate…"

"And making lovely music." JJ looked at him meaningfully, but with a grin on her face.

"Was I rambling?"

"Not exactly, but I thought the crowd might be more interested in the music."

"Oh. Gotcha. Speaking of music, aren't we due for some dancing?"

She thought this part of the plan would be painful for him. "Spence, we don't have to go. We can just stay here for a while longer."

He looked almost relieved, but didn't want to disappoint her. "JJ, I don't think I'll ever be a good dancer, but I've been reading about it….."

That brought a smile. The idea of Spence thinking he could learn rhythm and movement by reading a book. _That's my man._

He was continuing. "I got through seven books, but then I ran out of time before my lesson."

She was wide-eyed. "You took lessons? Since Thursday?"

He looked a little embarrassed. "I took a lesson last night. Three hours. I can do a fox trot and a cha-cha…..I think. Or maybe it was a rumba. I had trouble keeping them all straight. That's a right brain thing. I'm better with the left."

Now she was laughing…and then felt bad. "I'm sorry, Spence, I shouldn't laugh. It was very sweet of you to try to learn to dance. If you still want to go, let's do it."

Before they had to decide, there was a waft of music coming from the dinner cruise boat that had come back to the dock. Both had the same idea at the same time.

Reid bowed before his date, and she curtsied to him. And then they found that they melded perfectly together, one hand held, the other around the waist, cheek to shoulder. Under the moonlight, on the boardwalk, a warm spring breeze blowing the music their way, they danced.

Reid lost himself in the rhythm and the swaying. He'd literally never done this before. Holding JJ close, taking in the scent of her hair, finally free to openly love her, he thought, _this must be what heaven is like._

They spent an hour dancing, sitting, kissing, dancing again. JJ felt like she'd never been so perfectly in tune with another human being. The night was enchanting.

They began to dance again, this time barely swaying with their arms around one another. They kissed throughout most of the music. Earlier, Reid had found himself thinking_, I could do this all night. _But now, he needed something else. JJ must have been feeling it too. When he pushed her away to say, "I think we should go," she offered no protest.

As he started to drive, Reid offered, "JJ, I didn't know Henry wouldn't be home tonight. I'd….um….kind of thought we might go back to my place for a while." He hazarded a look. "Is that okay?"

Oddly, JJ had never thought of that. They'd always been together at her place and it had simply never occurred to her that they had another option. "Sure, Spence. It would be great."

JJ had been to Reid's place before, but only to carpool or bring by a meal when he was sick. She remembered it as being neat….and full of books, music, videos and…..art. She'd asked him about the art. He had a fascination with the many forms of expression, and had even dabbled in watercolors himself. More recently, she knew, he'd added a keyboard. He'd become interested in playing music after an encounter with a gifted autistic child….it had been the method that broke through their communication barrier with the child. Reid had been playing ever since.

They held hands for most of the trip, riding along in silence, each lost in the anticipation of what might come next. When they arrived, Reid escorted JJ to the door, and then waved her in ahead of him. She noticed the bottle of wine and two glasses on the coffee table, a spray of flowers on the side. Reid lit the small gas fireplace, and set some soft music going on the stereo. JJ liked it, but couldn't place the genre.

"It's Celtic. It reminds me of you. Pure, sweet, bright. And, sometimes, heartbreakingly beautiful."

JJ teared up as she studied him. "What did I do to deserve the love of someone like you?"

He made light of it. "Lost the lottery?"

She snuggled next to him on the sofa. He put his arms around her and drew her close. "Not on your life. You are definitely first prize."

She tilted her head up at him. "Spence? This was one of the most beautiful nights I can remember. It was just perfect."

He smiled down at her. "Does that mean I get a second date?"

She looked at him with meaning. "Is there anything you might want before that second date?"

He got serious very quickly, leaning down to deliver a passionate kiss. JJ returned the passion, and they were lost in each other for a long time,kissing, exploring. Breaking for air, Reid studied every inch of her with his eyes. He started, "JJ….."

She just nodded. He got up and led her by the hand to his bedroom. She almost cried when she saw there were yellow roses on the pillows. "For joy," she said, remembering.

"For joy."

The fireplace threw dim light into the bedroom. In that light, they undressed one another and slowly, deeply, loved one another. Neither thought it would have been possible to feel closer than they had before, but they found they were wrong. Lying together, essentially one, they felt full, and complete, and home.


	9. Chapter 9

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 9**

_Peace. This is what peace feels like._ It was a new experience for Spencer Reid. He'd awakened from a dream full of sweetness, and light, and touching...

As he stretched out his long frame, he realized there was someone watching him. JJ had roused a few minutes ahead of him and lay on her side, just looking. He turned to his side and did the same, savoring.

"You know, I've probably seen you sleeping a zillion times on the plane, but I don't think I've ever noticed how cute you look with your hair all in your eyes." She considered it a moment. "Well, maybe I have."

"I, on the other hand, have noticed absolutely everything about you." When she challenged him with a look, he continued. "Like that you lie on your left side 77% of the time and like to curl your arm under your head. Like how you always sleep better with a blanket. Like how you snore….."

"I do not snore!"

"How would you know? You're asleep!" To preserve his life, he added, "Only teasing!" And then was relieved when she smiled. I can't believe you wake up looking this beautiful."

"It's because you don't have your contacts in yet." She scooted over so that she was under him, looking up. "I think I need something to wake me all the way up."

Reid went briefly tangential. He'd never set his coffeemaker the night before and, for the first time in memory, wasn't feeling the need for his daily starter fluid. Another new experience. But one he chose not to share with JJ. Instead, he replied with, "Well, I seem to be pretty woken up already. Maybe I can help you with that."

He leaned down to kiss her, then hovered over her, staring into her eyes. He was shaking his head ever so slightly. "JJ, I never….I never knew…..I could be this happy. I never even dreamed what it would feel like. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I will be grateful every day of my life that you're in it."

JJ absorbed it, absorbed him. "You don't have a clue, do you?" At his look, she continued. "How incredible you are. How you make me feel. How I love to see you with Henry. How you fill up every part of my life. Spence, I've never had a relationship like this…one that doesn't ask me to be someone I'm not. One that just makes me more….me."

Now he was nodding a little. "I get that. I feel different with you. But maybe also the same. Maybe like I'm finding myself in you…like I'm seeing myself through your eyes. And, for the first time in my life, JJ, I really _like _who I am."

She gave him a brilliant smile. She so wanted him to see the person she saw, to be comfortable in his own skin….which was now so very near her own…

"Spence?"

"Shhh…" And he kissed her….all over…..and she responded….and they both found a delightful way to start their morning.

###################################################################

"What time do you have to get Henry?" Reid had made coffee the old fashioned way, as JJ readied the eggs. They were sharing a set of sweats, JJ the top and Reid the bottom.

"I told Karen I'd pick him up by nine. We usually go to the ten o'clock service at church." She looked up at him. "Do you want to come?"

He had an odd look on his face. Coming to faith was one thing, going to church another. He didn't think he was ready for that. Wasn't sure he ever would be. "Do you mind if I don't, JJ?"

She knew he was on a journey about this, and that it needed to happen at its own pace. "Of course not, Spence. Do you want to come over later, to see Henry?"

"Not only Henry. I think I'd like to see his mother later, too." He thought a moment. "JJ, when do we tell Henry? _What _do we tell Henry?"

"I'm not sure we tell him anything, at least not now. He knows we all love each other. He wouldn't get how things are different now."

"Will you say anything to Will?" He held his breath at this one.

She looked uncertain. "Believe it or not, I haven't actually thought that through yet. But speaking of Will, you should know that he's coming this week. He wanted to spend some time with Henry near Father's Day." She watched his face, and then quickly added, "He's staying in a hotel."

Reid was remembering Will's visit when Henry was released from the hospital. He'd felt like he was losing JJ and Henry, that they were restoring their family with Will, who was staying at the house. Now he felt like he could safely be magnanimous. "JJ, he doesn't have to." Hoping to hear her contradict him.

He was rewarded. "Yes, he does, Spence," she said meaningfully. "Don't worry, Henry will have a ball. It's one of those 'suite' places, comes with breakfast and a pool. Henry can even make chocolate chip pancakes if he wants."

#################################################################

"Hi, Mommy! Hi, Uncle Spence! I had a sleepover at Karen's house. Guess what we had for breakfast."

The adults replied in unison. "Chocolate chip pancakes?"

Henry was amazed_. Can Mommy do magic like Uncle Spence?_ "How did you know?"

"I just know my Henry," his mother replied.

"And you've got chocolate on your chin," added his astute Uncle Spence, the profiler.

"Say goodbye and thank you to Karen, Henry. We've got to get moving if we're going to make it to church on time."

"Are you coming with us, Uncle Spence?"

Reid shifted his feet. "Not this time, Henry. Maybe another time." He was beginning to realize that sharing in the lives of JJ and Henry would require him to make some major adjustments in his own.

######################################################

As he drove home, Reid contemplated a phenomenon. Although he'd driven the same roads yesterday, and the day before, although he'd looked at the same scenery, breathed the same air….nothing was the same. He felt like he'd been away for a long time and was seeing everything with fresh eyes. The sky was brighter, the scent of the breeze fresher, the trees and flowers almost luminescent. There was something about the time he'd spent with JJ last night, and this morning, that had transformed his world. Further contemplation made him realize that it had actually transformed _him. _

In his childhood, with his mother, he'd experienced the sense of being needed, and Diana had given him the kind of desperate love that came out of that need. But with JJ, for the first time in his life, he was experiencing a truly unconditional love, one that was given to him simply for being who he was. He recognized it, because he gave his own to JJ. But it had escaped his genius mind that he might be doing for her what she did for him. When they'd made love, he realized JJ's need for him was as much as his need for her. And neither was as important as their need to be together, as one.

Reid remembered reading that all good relationships are creative. He felt like he was beginning to understand what that meant. No matter what….._or who_, he thought…...he and JJ might create in the future, for now they had created a new, more confident, more self-assured, happier, Spencer Reid.

######################################################

JJ took advantage of Henry's short nap to pull out her journal. She felt like she had much to process.

She read through her entry from Friday night. Since Spence had been 'busy' with his dance lesson then, she'd had the evening to herself and had used it to catch up.

"I can't believe how excited I am for tomorrow night...it's not like I've never been on a date before. But Spence is being so cute and earnest about arranging it, and I want so badly for it to go well, for his sake...especially after that 'almost date' we had at Garcia's play. I wonder if maybe it was good that the night went that way, as I think what we shared then brought us closer. I do know for sure that it was the first time Spence ever put his arm around me. If I we hadn't been able to break through that barrier, I don't know that we would be where we are today. I just hope he doesn't put too much weight on the event. I could be happy getting an ice cream cone with him. I think he knows that. I _hope _he knows that.

Maybe what I'm really excited about is that I've made a decision. It's time. We need to move our relationship forward. I can see that Spence wants it…. That he _needs_ it. And I do too. I've been so careful because of Henry. As much as I love Spence, I have to be responsible to Henry. I can't bring someone into our lives in that intimate a way and not expect it to affect my son. It's clear that Spence adores Henry and vice versa. And when we talked last night about how Will left, Spence sounded so much like a dad. I can tell he will always put Henry first, and I guess I needed to know that. Which makes it ironic that I think I need to send Henry out of the house so Spence and I can be together. But I'm not sure I'm ready to explain quite everything to a four year old."

She thought back. Henry had been excited about having a sleepover at his sitter's home, so hadn't even questioned his mother's plans. He loved playing with Karen's puppy so much that he was always trying to wheedle JJ into getting him one.

She started on today's entry. "My 'first' date with Spence was amazing! He took me to a quaint little Italian place (thanks, Rossi) in Old Alexandria. It was romantic and he was so handsome! (_Note to self_, she thought as she wrote_, better mention how much you like his hair longer before he chops it off again_) We walked the boardwalk afterwards, went in and out of some galleries, enjoyed the street entertainment. I could tell he didn't really want to go dancing. Wait! I forgot to tell you, he took a dancing lesson! My sweet, wonderful Spence did that for me….I know it was probably painful, and I'd never have asked him to…..but I was so touched when he told me!

Well, we never went to the dance hall, but we definitely danced. There was music on the boardwalk, coming from a party ship. I've never felt closer with anyone than I felt with Spence when we danced. I've never felt _held_ in the same way. And the night air, and the moonlight….it was magical. And then, silly me, I'd never even thought about us being together at Spence's place. But we were. If he was inexperienced, I sure couldn't tell. He made me feel…..precious…..as he was to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love him so."

She knew Spence would be back soon, so put her journal away and went to rouse Henry.

##########################################################

The afternoon was warm and sunny and leant itself well to being outside. Henry lobbied for going to the zoo and won. Apparently it was a popular idea in the DC area that day, as the place was very crowded. Reid brought Henry around on his shoulders for much of the afternoon, so the little guy could see into his favorite animal exhibits. He loved the big cats….made them wait a full thirteen minutes to hear the tiger roar…..and then wanted to see the bears.

JJ had read about a new set of panda cubs now visible to the public. Henry was thrilled. One of his favorite stuffed animals was a panda. When they went inside the exhibit, they could see two adults and a cub, the other baby presumably hidden behind the mother. Henry started reciting one of the many stories he'd now come to memorize, Goldilocks and The Three Bears. He identified the Mama Bear, Papa Bear and Baby Bear. And then Reid reminded him that he had a 'Goldilocks' on his shoulders.

Henry was incredulous that Reid didn't know better. "Uncle Spence, Goldilocks is a girl!"

Reid laughed. "Sorry, Henry, I just thought you'd want to be part of the story."

"When Mommy and I read the story, I'm always 'Baby Bear'." He was surprised Uncle Spence wouldn't have figured that out. JJ just shrugged her shoulders and laughed at the two men in her life.

######################################################

At their meeting Monday morning, Hotch reminded the team that this week was their turn to 'stand down'. For the BAU, that meant being available for teaching at the FBI Academy and other institutions, conducting research and doing local minor consults that required no more than one or two agents.

The unit chief noticed surreptitious looks exchanged among most of his team members. There were raised eyebrows, shrugged shoulders, smiles and sideways glances being rendered by all but the two they were curious about. Truth be told, he wanted to know himself. So he thought he would introduce the subject.

"Before we start planning the projects for this week, we should probably have an update on the team project from last week." All eyes were questioning, save for Rossi's, which shone with amusement.

"Reid, JJ, have you anything to report?"

Reid started to look a little put upon, but then gave in. After all, it had been his doing that so many of them had had input. He looked to JJ for permission, which was granted. "It went very well, thank you. Results are still pending, but signs are promising."

JJ was laughing. "Yes, thanks to all of you, we had a lovely time."

Morgan was disbelieving. He hadn't thought Reid could pull it off. "Does that mean we'll have to go through all of this again?"

Garcia gave him an elbow in the side. "I'm sure JJ and Reid are perfectly capable of a second date without your help, Derek."

Emily chimed in. "Yeah, after all, what would you know about a second date?"

"Ooohhhh," came as a chorus from the whole team. Even Hotch. And then he brought them back to work.

"All right, everyone, let's get going. We'll meet here each morning, but then you'll all go to the assignments you've been given."

Reid caught Rossi on the way out. "Rossi, thanks for the recommendation about the restaurant. It was a great place…..oh, and the wine was perfect, thanks."

Rossi had always felt just a little paternal about the two youngest team members. "Did you know that young JJ told me she joined the FBI because she read one of my books?"

Reid hadn't known that. He briefly reflected that he still had so much to learn about the woman he loved. "No, I didn't."

"So, I guess you could say that, if it weren't for me, you two wouldn't even know each other."

The very thought of not having met JJ, of not having her in his life, of not _knowing _what he knew now about how life could be, was frightening to Reid. He gulped. "Then thank you for that too, Rossi. I promise not to insult you the next time an opportunity arises."

###########################################################

Wednesday morning, JJ came to work seemingly upset at something. Reid briefly flashed on whether he'd done anything to bring on her mood, but didn't think so. He suspected it had more to do with Will having come in the night before for his visit with Henry. Reid and JJ hadn't even spoken on the phone in the evening, as he realized she would be busy transitioning Henry to his dad.

"What's up?" He always liked to open with a broad question. When that only got him a scowl, he moved on. "You seem upset today, JJ. Did something happen?"

She made a face. "Will came in." Reid waited her out. "He came for dinner and then he and Henry went off to the hotel."

Reid still didn't understand. "Was Henry upset about that? Did he not want to go?"

"Henry was fine with it. _ I_ wasn't fine with something Will told me." Again he waited her out. "He has to go back a little early, on Saturday….because he's going 'deep undercover'."

Reid narrowed his eyes as JJ continued. "I mean, I know he's been doing some undercover work. I wasn't happy about it, but I had to accept it because, let's face it, my own job has its risks. But 'deep undercover' sounds so dangerous, Spence. We hear about some of these cops who never make it out….we've even worked some of those cases. I know Will and I aren't together, but that doesn't mean I don't want him to be safe. And I especially don't want Henry to lose someone he loves."

Reid put an arm around her and squeezed her shoulders. "Did you talk with him about your fears?"

"Only briefly. We didn't have much time, with Henry there. Will says it's something he feels he has to do. It's about a trafficking ring, and they're bringing in children as well as adults, so he feels strongly about it."

"Do you want me to take Henry for a while so you two can talk?"

"I tried that. He said 'no'. He's determined, and I can't stop him."

Reid squeezed her and kissed her head. "Then you have to let it go, JJ." He tried changing the subject. "Rossi and I have to teach tonight and tomorrow night, but Friday is open. Can we get together?"

That brought the sunshine smile back. "How about a movie and popcorn? My treat, at my house?"

"You've got it, Blondie. Who gets to pick the movie?" He was bringing his eyebrows up and down in a bad Groucho Marx impression.

She gave him a long look and then sighed. "All right, I'll give. No movie. You can bring your DVDs and introduce me to Dr. Who."

Which brought the sunshine smile to Reid's face.

######################################################

Friday's Dr. Who lesson didn't go well. It was interrupted repeatedly by the instructor kissing the student. Eventually they gave up and took the seminar into the bedroom.

Reid had only been in JJ's bedroom once before, searching for Henry during a game of hide and seek. For most of the time she'd lived here, it had been 'JJ and Will's bedroom' and thereby off limits. Now, he took in the décor, the scent, the 'JJ-ness' of it. The colors were muted yellows and greens, not overly feminine, but definitely with a woman's touch. Prominently displayed were photos of Henry alone, and with his mother. Reid briefly wondered if there had been pictures of Will at one time. Then he stopped wondering anything, stopped noticing anything but JJ, and lost himself, and found himself, in her once again.

The two federal agents awakened slowly the following morning. The day was overcast, and it was easier to be lazy in bed than to contemplate accomplishing anything with the day. Will would be bringing Henry back in the afternoon, before his early evening flight to New Orleans, but they had the rest of the day to themselves.

JJ stretched slowly. She poked Reid. "Spence, are you awake?"

Mumbling came from the form next to her. "Am I?"

She chuckled. "I'll make some coffee. What's your favorite breakfast?"

"Eggs over easy and pancakes-not chocolate chip! But don't make anything, JJ. Coffee is great."

Once they were both fully awake, JJ invited Reid for a run. And was met with incredulity. "JJ, as long as you've known me, have I ever gone for a run?" Reid was a walker. He walked whenever it was feasible, and could do it for hours. It allowed his mind to wander where it wanted, and he got some of his best thinking done as he roamed.

"Well, it's more efficient than walking. You can be done in less than half the time." She was speaking as a busy parent and FBI agent.

"Why don't you go for your run, and I'll walk. That way, you can have some time to yourself when you get back." JJ realized that would also give Reid time to himself, and knew he needed it more than most. This was a compromise she was happy to make.

Later, before Will returned with Henry, JJ had something to discuss with Reid. "Spence, I've been thinking."

He encouraged her with a look.

"We can't send Henry off every time we want to be together. I think we need to introduce the idea of you spending the night."

Reid had been thinking the same thing, but didn't feel like the idea should come from him. "What do we tell him?"

"That we're having a sleepover?"

Before they could take the idea further, the bell rang. It was Henry, with Will. Henry ran and leapt into his mother's arms, talking non-stop about his adventures at the hotel. Reid came forward and shook Will's hand. It was the first time the two men had encountered each other since JJ and Reid had become a couple. Reid knew that JJ had told Will they were seeing each other.

"Will."

"Hey, Spencer, how's it going?"

"Okay, I guess. How was your visit with Henry?"

"It was strange for me, you know, not being at home. But he had a lot of fun."

Reid wasn't all the way there yet. He still felt guilt at being with Will's family, still had lingering doubt about whether it was right for Henry.

He must have shown it to Will, who assured him, "It's all right, you know. I've come to terms with it."

Reid was tempted to thank him, but didn't. "I hear you're taking on a new project." He lowered his voice so the chattering Henry couldn't hear. "You'll be careful? I don't think either of them could take it….."

"I'll be careful. But I also know they're in good hands. You take care of them now, hear?"

Reid felt like they were exchanging a responsibility. "I will. You can be sure of that."

There were tears from both Henry and JJ when Will said goodbye. Henry recovered first. "Uncle Spence, will you come back and play with me tomorrow?"

JJ fielded the question. It was now or never. "Actually, Henry, Uncle Spence is staying here tonight."

"Yay! We're having a sleepover! Will you sleep in my bed with me, Uncle Spence?"

Reid gratefully deferred to JJ again. "Well, Henry, your bed is kind of small. There's a lot more room in Mommy's bed. So I think Uncle Spence will sleep there tonight."

Both adults were surprised with how easily agreeable Henry was to that. Until bedtime came. Then they understood. He ran to his room and emerged with his pillow and stuffed dog, heading to JJ's bedroom. "Okay, I'm ready for our sleepover!"

JJ started to correct him, but Reid put up a hand. He smiled at her and shrugged his shoulders. "What do they say? If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

And so the three had their very first sleepover together, Henry squeezed between JJ and Reid in the bed. And Reid was enormously content.

##########################################################

The bed seemed so much more spacious the next morning, thought Reid as he stretched himself out. Then he realized he was alone. Hearing sounds coming from the kitchen, he started to get up. But before he could throw his long legs over the side, a little blond head poked around the bedroom door, followed by another, taller blond head. JJ was carrying a tray with coffee, eggs over easy and pancakes. Henry was carrying a piece of paper.

"We made you breakfast in bed, Uncle Spence! Eggs and pancakes. But no chocolate chips! Don't you like chocolate chip pancakes, Uncle Spence? I _love_ chocolate chip pancakes!"

Reid may not have been fully awake yet, but he was laughing. Henry gave him the paper. "I made a picture for you, Uncle Spence. Mommy helped me with the letters, but I told her what I wanted to write."

On the paper was a drawing. Of three bears, who looked remarkably like JJ, Spence and Henry. They were labeled as Mama Bear, Papa Bear and Baby Bear. And the words, 'My family' went across the top.

Reid had found his glasses, but could still barely see through the wetness of his eyes.

"Happy Fathers' Day, Spence."

"Yeah, Happy Fathers' Day, Uncle Spence!" Now can we make some chocolate chip pancakes?"


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N. To Henry, Reid, and all of you who care so much about them….including me.….I am so very, very sorry.**

**Reverberations **

**Chapter 10**

At the end of the day, with Reid gone back home and Henry safely tucked in his own bed, JJ went to her journal. She silently blessed Diana for her inspiration. This process was helping her understand herself and her relationships in so very many ways.

"Today was Fathers' Day. And even though Will had been here to see Henry for the occasion, my only thoughts were of Spence. If I had gone out deliberately seeking a surrogate father for my son, I could not have found anyone better than Spence. He is so patient, and kind, and loving with Henry. And Henry adores him. Of course, I don't think either of them has dealt with the other's bad mood yet, so we'll see how that goes. But I trust that their love will win out.

Henry made Spence a picture-and called him Papa Bear! The look on Spence's face when he saw that was precious. He just kept looking back and forth from Henry to me and back again, and seemed not to know whether to laugh or cry. I've been thinking of him as a dad for Henry, and I suspect Spence has had the same thought. But to know that Henry thinks that way too…thank you, God!

Not that I would want to replace Will in Henry's life…they love each other too much. But Will is in New Orleans, and Henry is here, and he needs a father who is present in his life.

As to Will, he's going undercover again. Deep undercover, this time. It's for a good reason, to stop the trafficking of women and children, but it is also so dangerous! I pray that he'll be all right. I pray that I won't be explaining to Henry why his dad can't come to see him anymore.

I noticed Will and Spence talking when Will brought Henry home this afternoon. It looked serious, but Spence wouldn't tell me what it was about. My guess is that Will was asking him to look after us. Does that mean he doesn't think he'll make it out? Does he not care? Did our breakup affect him in that way? I'd thought he was seeing someone in New Orleans. Now I'm not sure. But I still care enough to hope that he will find the kind of love that I have found with Spence."

There were so many thoughts and feelings running through her…..love for Spence and Henry, gratitude for the bond they'd developed, worry over Will….that even putting them to paper wasn't helping to sort them out. She realized that maybe her fatigue was contributing to the confusing glut of emotions. Putting down her pen, JJ sought refuge in sleep.

* * *

In the following weeks and months, life seemed to settle into a routine. Or at least as much of a routine as employment with the BAU allowed. There were weeks with cases, and weeks without. Whenever they were in town, Reid spent the evenings and weekends with JJ and Henry, but didn't always stay overnight. Henry had tired of his sleepovers with the adults, and, for the most part, retired to his own bed. On the nights when Reid stayed with them, he and JJ took turns with bath time and stories. Reid was even becoming comfortable helping with Henry's prayers before bed.

######

The first time it happened, Reid had been caught off guard. He turned in the bed during the night and found blond hair spread part way across his pillow. When he reached out for JJ, he felt instead a little rump. Henry had climbed into bed with them in the middle of the night, frightened from a nightmare. If it had only been the one time, Reid and JJ would have dismissed it. But it repeated itself three more times over the following two weeks. JJ was concerned and Reid, following her lead, agreed with her.

"Can he remember the dream at all, JJ?"

"He says he's running, scared, alone. And there's some sort of witch after him. His dad has disappeared and he can't find me. One time he said he could see you, but he couldn't reach you before the witch got to him." JJ was upset. She didn't know how to help her son. "I'm wondering if he picked up on Will's going undercover. He wouldn't really know what it means, but he might have realized I was worried about it. And it's been over two months since he's heard from his dad."

Reid thought she might be on to something. "JJ, should we have him talk to somebody? Or at least take him to his pediatrician, maybe?"

She thought about it. The rest of the time Henry seemed like normal Henry, so perhaps things weren't as bad as they could be. But she knew her son very well, and picked up on every nuance. In her heart, she knew something wasn't right with him. The idea of therapy was difficult for her, because it meant acknowledging how much stress his parents had put on their son. And she had prayed so hard that their decision to separate wouldn't do that to him. But clearly something was wrong and she had to respond to it.

"Maybe to his pediatrician. I'll call for an appointment in the morning."

* * *

JJ was able to get an appointment for Friday afternoon, so she left early to pick Henry up from day care and bring him to see his doctor. Reid would meet them at home afterward. They both knew that seeing the doctor, and bringing up the nightmare, would probably upset Henry.

Shortly before five, Reid's cell sounded. Expecting JJ's call, he answered without looking at the number.

"Hello."

"Is there a 'Spence' there?" It was a man's voice. Only JJ had ever called him 'Spence'. He was instantly on alert.

"This is Spencer Reid."

"This is Officer Talbot with Metro PD. Do you know a little boy with blond hair?"

Reid felt like he was choking. "Henry."

Emily was in the next cubicle, getting ready for her weekend. She watched as Reid froze with the phone to his ear, clearly steeling himself for something. She became more alarmed as she watched him sink into his chair. He was staring forward, saying nothing into the phone. She took it from him and put it on speaker.

Keeping her eyes on Reid, she spoke. "Hello, this is Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss. Can I help you?" Emily had found it advantageous to use her full title in uncertain circumstances.

"Ms. Prentiss, I was speaking with a Mr. Reid."

Still watching Reid, she responded, "SSA Reid can't speak with you right now. Who are you? Why are you calling?"

"Supervisory Special Agent…..is this the FBI?"

"It is."

"I didn't know. This is Officer Talbot of Metro PD. I have a little boy with me who says his name is Henry. He was able to identify the programmed number for an 'Uncle Spence' on what we assume is his mother's phone."

Now Emily needed to sit. She caught Morgan's eye and signaled him to get the others. "JJ? Where is she? Did something happen to her?"

Garcia and Morgan had arrived in time to hear Emily's last words. Garcia clutched at Morgan's arm.

"The phone is programmed as saying it belongs to a Jennifer Jareau. Is that the 'JJ' you're talking about?"

Reid was trying to find his voice. "Yes," he croaked.

"Is Henry her son?"

"Yes. And my godson. JJ and I are….we're seeing each other."

"I'm afraid I have some difficult news. And I am sorry to be giving it over the phone. We didn't know how else to identify who might know Henry and his mother."

Emily had grasped Reid's hand, which was shaking. "What news do you have for us, Officer Talbot?"

"Ms. Jareau and her son were in an accident this afternoon. They were stopped at a traffic light when a car came through the intersection and struck them head on, at better than 80 miles an hour. Little Henry here seems to be okay, he's been checked out by the doctor already. But Ms. Jareau is in surgery."

Reid was pale. He could barely get out the word. "Surgery?"

"She seemed all right at the scene. She was wearing her seat belt, and little Henry here was in his car seat. But then she deteriorated. She was talking with us and the EMTs, and then, in a matter of seconds, was unconscious. The EMTs said she was in shock. The docs here think she has internal bleeding. They've taken her to the OR to try to find the source and stop it."

Morgan settled a distraught Garcia into a chair and took over the conversation. "This is SSA Derek Morgan. We have you on speaker here. What hospital is she at?"

"We're at Georgetown, Agent Morgan. Does Ms. Jareau have a next of kin? Is there a father for Henry?"

Reid knew that JJ's parents were in Australia, fulfilling a lifelong dream in their retirement. And no one knew where Will was. "There's no one available." He briefly explained.

"Thank you, Agent Reid. I'll take care of things here then."

Later, they all wished they'd understood what he meant by that.

#####################################################################

They weren't a team for nothing. Without a word being exchanged, they all headed for the SUV, Emily holding on to a very shaky Reid to lend him support. As they headed to the hospital, Hotch drove with Emily beside him. Morgan was comforting Garcia in the seat behind them. And Reid had taken his usual seat in the back, this time accompanied by Rossi, who usually claimed the privilege of the front seat. The senior agent wanted to lend his support via his physical presence, if nothing else.

Holding on to Penelope, Morgan kept eyeing Reid, who was sitting with his head in his hands. Every so often, Rossi would reach over and give him a pat on the back. It was Morgan who spoke.

"Kid, I'm sure she's gonna be okay. JJ's tough. And they can do miracles with surgery."

Garcia was trying to rally. "Yeah, look at me. I'm living proof that they do great work there."

Reid wasn't registering any part of their conversation. In his mind, repeating over and over, were the words, _Please, God. Please, God. Please, God, Please, God, Please, God. _The little 'observer' part of his brain noticed that Reid seemed to be coming firmly down on the side of belief.

The group created a little stir upon entering the ED, six agents with FBI credentials hanging from their lapels. The clerk at the desk was relieved to learn they were there about a patient and not about a case. Hotch brought Reid with him to speak with a nurse.

"Jennifer Jareau is a Supervisory Special Agent with my team at the FBI. I am her unit chief, Aaron Hotchner, and this is Dr. Spencer Reid, also an SSA. He and Agent Jareau are….." he wasn't sure what to call them, but finally settled on "…..a couple."

The nurse was kind enough to acknowledge the pain she saw in Reid's eyes. "I'm so sorry, Dr. Reid, that Agent Jareau was injured. I can assure you that she is in the hands of our best trauma surgeon."

Reid was still having trouble focusing, let alone trying to speak. Weakly, he asked, "Do you know what's wrong with her? Where is she bleeding?"

"Well, they won't know for sure until they get in there. But they think it's probably a laceration of her liver. She was too unstable to do any imaging beforehand, so they wanted to get her to the OR right away."

Reid was aware that a liver laceration was repairable, but also highly dangerous. Too many things could go wrong. Knowing it was a stupid question, knowing the nurse couldn't possibly answer it, knowing it was pathetic, Reid found himself asking anyway, "Will she be all right?"

The nurse reached out and squeezed his forearm. "She's in the best hands, Dr. Reid." And she left to tend to her other patients.

Hotch tried to coax Reid to a seat, but the young man was too agitated. With his last ounce of focus, he remembered his godson.

"Henry! Where's Henry?" He ran over to Prentiss. "Emily, did he say where Henry was?"

She realized they'd all forgotten to ask. "I had the sense they were here, at the hospital."

Morgan picked up on the conversation and went to the desk to inquire. The clerk was reluctant to disclose patient information, but apparently found something intimidating in the way Morgan was looking at her.

"I think the boy is with a social worker. Let me call his nurse."

Before that could happen, Officer Talbot of the Metro PD came down the hall. He'd heard that the FBI was in the waiting room. He eyed their badges, and then directed his words to Reid.

"SSA Reid, I have little Henry down the hall. Would you like to see him?"

Reid could only nod. Garcia stood to go with him. His godmother wanted to see the boy as well. Reid explained the relationship, and Officer Talbot nodded at both of them to follow him. Morgan gave her shoulders a squeeze before she left.

When they entered a small conference room, they saw Henry's little blond head lying across his arms, which were spread out on the table. There were two women in the room with him. Henry looked up when he heard Reid's voice.

"Uncle Spence!" The boy was sobbing, and ran to his godfather. Reid gathered him up and held him close. Henry had a virtual choke hold on his Uncle Spence. Penelope stood close by and rubbed Henry's head and back.

"Mommy wouldn't talk to me, Uncle Spence! She was laying down and sleeping and I couldn't wake her up. She wouldn't talk to me! Is she mad at me? Was I bad?"

Reid wanted to cry. Garcia did so. Struggling to find his voice, Reid responded to his godson. "No, Henry, she's not mad. You didn't do anything wrong. Mommy got a boo-boo and it made her go to sleep. The doctors are working hard to make her better right now."

Henry, ever so tuned in to Reid, picked up on something. "Does she need stitches, Uncle Spence?" Despite his own experience in the hospital, stitches were the ultimate measure of injury for Henry.

Reid was choking back sobs. "Yeah, little man, she needs stitches. Probably a lot of them."

With that, Reid started feeling Henry all over, looking at every skin surface, to satisfy himself that the boy he loved so much was all right.

One of the women stepped forward and introduced herself as the hospital social worker. The other, she said, was from DC's Child and Family Services Agency. Both women expressed their sympathy to Reid and Garcia over what had happened.

The CFSA worker explained what would come next. "Since the child has no available next of kin, we will be placing him in a foster home until his mother is recovered…..if she recovers."

There was so much wrong with that statement that Reid had trouble taking it all in. Garcia was actually ahead of him in absorbing it, and took off down the hall for reinforcements.

"What do you mean, _if _she recovers? And what do you mean he has no 'next of kin'? What about me?"

"Agent Reid, are you married to Ms. Jareau?"

When he shook his head, she went on. "I understand that Henry's father and grandparents are unavailable."

"But I'm right here! He loves me and I love him! He needs me!"

The rest of the team, summoned by Garcia, had arrived to hear the next part of the conversation.

"Agent Reid, I am not without sympathy. But you have no legal status with the child. He will have to be placed in state custody until we can find a suitable long term placement for him. Perhaps you can apply to be his foster parent."

"But JJ would want me to take care of him now. You can't put him with strangers. He'll be scared. He needs me." And under his breath, he added, "and I need him."

"Agent Reid, again, I'm sorry. But once the agency has been called in, it can't be undone. I have to follow procedure."

Hotch recognized the dilemma of the worker. Like all child welfare agencies, CFSA was always under scrutiny for cases that went wrong, often despite the scrupulous work of dedicated individuals. The CFSA social worker wasn't in a position to do anything other than what she was doing. And yet, he realized the compounded heartbreak for Reid and his godson.

The worker tried to get Henry to let go of Reid and come to her. He only held on tighter to his Papa Bear, and Reid had an iron grip on Henry. The worker appealed to Officer Talbot, who reluctantly enforced the law. "Agent Reid, you need to let the boy go."

Reid was so upset, he was almost hyperventilating. "Please," he managed, in a broken voice.

The worker started to peel Henry away, which resulted in a keening cry from the youngster.

Hotch knew they would have to let this happen and fix it after the fact. He turned to Rossi.

"Dave," was all he said. Rossi nodded and stepped away, already pulling out his phone. Rossi was connected in ways that Hotch could only guess at, and was their best chance to make the system do the right thing. But it wasn't going to happen now. They had to let this despicable separation happen.

Hotch put his hand on Reid's shoulder. "Reid, we'll make this right. But you need to let him go."

Reid was shaking his head. "No. He needs to be with me."

Officer Talbot stepped forward. "Dr. Reid, I won't be happy about it, but I will have to arrest you if you do not comply."

Garcia was sobbing into Morgan's chest. Morgan was barely containing his anger at the situation. But he also realized the policeman was simply doing his job.

Emily stepped up to her dear friend. "Reid, we should try to make it a little easier for Henry." She caught his eyes and managed to penetrate the tears. He knew she was right, but couldn't bring himself to let go.

Emily persisted. "Come on, you can do this. Listen to Hotch, we'll find a way to make it right."

Slowly, ever so slowly, Reid reached behind his neck and gently took Henry's hands. The boy trusted his godfather and let his arms come loose. When they were, Reid held Henry away from him a little, so he could look directly into the boy's eyes. Struggling for control of his voice, he managed, "It will be all right, Henry. You can go with this nice lady and she'll make sure you have something to eat and a nice bed to sleep in." Not trusting at all that either would happen.

Henry was no fool. He was very attuned to his Uncle Spence and knew this was not what he wanted. He tried to reach out to grasp Reid's neck again when the social worker took him from behind. She was a believer in the 'bandaid approach'-quick separation and removal, for minimal pain. Henry was not. He started screaming for his mother, for his Uncle Spence, for anyone who would help him. It was the cry of a frightened, desperate child. The last sound Reid heard from him was Henry screaming his name.

Hotch had his hands on Reid, ready to restrain him if necessary. It wasn't. Reid simply stood there, tears streaming down his cheeks, wondering how it was possible he could still be alive without his heart. It had just been torn out of his chest, and was fleeing down the hall in the arms of a social worker.


	11. Chapter 11

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 11**

Garcia finally calmed enough for Morgan to put her in Emily's care. He wanted to find Reid, who had disappeared shortly after Henry had been torn from him. Morgan thought he knew where he should look.

As he entered the hospital chapel, he saw a lone figure sitting, hunched all the way over, head in hands. He approached quietly.

"Reid." When he got no response, he moved into the pew and sat down next to him. "Reid."

Reid looked up briefly and then resumed his position. In a very quiet voice, he said, "Please leave me alone."

Morgan wasn't about to do that. He was worried about his friend. "Look, Kid, I know this is eating you up. You have to know we have your back. Rossi is working the system now. He'll find the person who can make them give Henry back."

Reid sat back a little. "He was so scared, Morgan. I've never seen him like that, not even after his nightmares. And I couldn't help him. I failed him, I failed JJ."

"Reid, this had nothing to do with you. It is what it is. The system is in place to help most of the kids, most of the time. But that doesn't mean it works all the time. And it didn't work today for you or Henry. But we'll get him back. You have to trust in that."

Reid was shaking his head. "I don't think I can look JJ in the eye." And then, "Provided she can open them again. Oh, God! Please, God, don't take her from me!" His head was back in his hands.

Morgan thought Reid needed a kind of solace he didn't know how to offer. He left his friend in the hands of the Almighty, and went to arrange for a different kind of comfort.

Reid prayed. Really prayed, as he'd never done before. _I have never felt more helpless. I have no power over anything. I have to trust it's all in Your hands. Please save her. If I don't deserve her, surely Henry does. Please bring him back. Please don't let him be scared. He's only a little boy. Please don't let him think I don't love him. Please. Please, Please. _

He was so caught up in his exchange that he didn't hear Emily approach. Silently, she sat beside him and offered her hand. He clasped it tightly. With her free hand, she rubbed his back. This was the kind of gentle touch Reid needed. The one Morgan had sent Emily to give, when he himself didn't know how. They shared a long look, ending with a small, wry smile on each face. Emily gently tugged him up.

"Come on, the nurse said they were almost done in the OR, and the doctor would be out to speak with us soon."

Reid was still unsteady. "Emily, I don't know how I'll…"

"You're not going to have to find out. She'll be fine. You'll all be looking back on this someday." Even as she said this, Emily was offering her own prayer that she was right.

"Like a bad dream." Which immediately brought back the thought of Henry and what he must be going through. He wasn't at all sure he had the strength to get through this.

Reid swallowed hard and fought for control. Internally, he chastised himself. _How can you expect to help JJ or Henry if you can't get it together? Anybody can do the easy times. They need you when it's hard. This is the hard time. This is where you show what you're made of. _

* * *

The trauma surgeon looked weary as he entered the waiting room. He wasn't sure who should be receiving the information, but noticed the others deferring to Reid.

"Agent…" he bent to read his name tag, "Reid."

"Is she all right?" Once he heard the timbre of Reid's voice, the surgeon realized what the relationship must be.

"She came through the surgery very well, after a rough couple of minutes at the beginning."

At all of the questioning looks, he explained. "She was in shock and going through units of blood very quickly before we got her into the OR. She had a tear, or laceration, in her liver. It happens sometimes with this kind of injury. The seat belt saves their lives in that they don't go flying out of the car at high speed, but the rebound can tear the liver. The liver has a very large blood supply, so whenever there is a tear in it, bleeding is a very big problem. But, I'm happy to say, we were able to repair it completely."

Garcia asked, "Does that mean she'll be okay? Is it over?"

The surgeon was frank. "She's not out of danger yet, I'm afraid. There is the possibility that she will bleed again, but I'm fairly confident that won't happen in this case. But the liver also makes all of our clotting factors and processes just about every chemical in the body. A lot can still go wrong as it heals, and especially with a tear as large as hers. So we'll be watching her very closely for a few days. When she wakes up, we'll be moving her from the Recovery Room to the Surgical ICU."

Reid wasn't sure whether to be assured or concerned. He was afraid to let down his guard, wanting to be ready to respond to a crisis, should one occur.

"Can I see her?" Seeing that the surgeon looked about to deny him, he added, "Please."

The surgeon considered him a moment, saw his distress. "Only for a minute. And don't try to rouse her. She'll come out of it when it's the appropriate time."

Reid nodded, and followed the nurse back to the Recovery Room. She led him to a three-walled cubicle. There lay JJ, her hair mussed, wires and tubes attached everywhere. Reid felt tears immediately and swallowed them down. He looked at the nurse. "Can I touch her?"

She took pity on him. "You can touch the hand that's free. But don't try to wake her up."

Reid moved to the side of her bed and just stared. She looked small, and broken. He contemplated how strange that was, JJ looking broken, when that was exactly how he was feeling. Slowly, he lifted his hand and ran the back of it along the back of hers. He whispered, not expecting her to hear, "I love you. Please come back to me."

Then he remembered what the doctor had said when his mother was dying. That patients who were unconscious were often still able to hear, even when they couldn't respond. Now he spoke to her with intention.

"JJ, it's Spence. You were in an accident, and you needed surgery. You're going to be fine, you just need to concentrate on getting well."

He took a breath before he went on. "Henry is fine. He wasn't hurt at all. He just wants his mom to get better as fast as she can." His voice wanted to break as he spoke about his godson, but he was resolute. He couldn't let on what had transpired about Henry. JJ would be devastated.

"I'm right here, JJ, just waiting for you. I'll be here every day that it takes, until I can take you home with me." He flashed on the idea of never being able to do that, never being at home with JJ and Henry, never having either of them to love again…..and never having either of them to love him again. It overwhelmed him in the moment. He sank to his knees and wept into the foot of the bed.

* * *

After JJ was moved to the ICU, Hotch tried to get him to leave. "Reid, they'll only let you in for five minutes per hour, and she probably won't even know you're there." Even as he said it, he knew that wouldn't have stopped him from staying with Hayley. But he also knew he would be wiling to do anything for his son Jack. He appealed to Reid again.

"Dave is working on getting Henry back. You're going to need your energy to take care of him. Why don't you go and get some rest and come back in the morning?" The rest of them were getting ready to go.

Reid was adamant. "I need to be here, Hotch. Whether she knows it or not, _I_ know it." Reid eyed his boss. "I think you understand, don't you?"

Hotch had to give in. He nodded. "I understand. At least try to get some rest."

Morgan caught the last of this exchange and made a quick decision to send Garcia home with Emily. "I'll stay with you, Reid." He knew JJ wasn't out of the woods yet, and didn't want Reid alone if things should go wrong.

"It's all right, Morgan, I'll be okay."

"I'm staying, Kid. It's decided."

Reid gave him a brief nod and a small grin of gratitude.

Once the others had left, Morgan sat beside Reid in the waiting room.

"She'll be okay, you know."

"She has to be."

"I'm sure Henry is in good hands, Reid. And I'm sure Rossi will come through. You'll have him back in the morning."

Reid looked away and sighed. Then he addressed Morgan. "When I was a boy, and my mom was sick? There was the constant threat of child protective services. The school was calling them all the time, and so were the neighbors." In response to Morgan's puzzled look, Reid added, "They could hear her screaming, when the voices and visions were especially bad."

Reid closed his eyes, remembering. "She told me about how they were monsters, terrible people who would take me away and put me with people who were mean, who would lock me up, not feed me, maybe even beat me." He was shaking his head.

"She had me convinced. I did everything in my power to hold things together whenever they would come to do a 'home evaluation'. Now I realize that it was all her paranoia. But I guess the emotions are still there. I know in my head that Henry will be okay, but in here," he was touching his chest, "I'm afraid for him. And mostly I'm afraid that he'll think I didn't care enough about him."

His voice was wavering as he finished. Morgan reached across and patted him on the back.

"Reid, it's clear as day that the boy loves you. And he knows you love him. He'll be okay."

Reid was shaking his head. "I hope to God you're right.

* * *

The ICU staff gave them pillows and blankets, and they stretched out across the seats in the waiting room. Reid went in to see JJ and touch her free hand hourly. He tried desperately to quiet his mind enough to sleep, but kept flashing on imagined images of the accident, and of Henry in the home of a stranger. His sleep was fitful at best, and came in increments of minutes.

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, a sense of peace descended over Reid. Without any input from the nurses or doctors, he felt an assurance that JJ would survive. It was a completely alien experience to him, but he was sure she would make it. Only that. He had no idea what mountains they would have to climb, but he felt sure they would be doing it together.

When the morning shift came on, the nurses gave an update to Reid. "A few hours ago, she had a remarkable turnaround. The doctors were worried about her liver function, but it seems to be restarting. She's not out of the woods yet, but she's much better than she was."

Reid felt a connection that he'd never felt before. He'd known. How? For the first time in his life he felt like he'd experienced an answered prayer.

When he went in for his five minute visit this morning, Reid scrutinized JJ for some difference in her appearance. All of the wires and tubes were still in place, all of the machinery still functioning. But there was some indescribable way in which JJ looked more restful. He held on to that.

As he touched her one free hand yet again, Reid spoke. "JJ, you're getting better. You're doing a great job. I know it's hard, but keep working at it, keep fighting. You're winning! I know you're going to bet better. And when you are, I'll explain how I know. It's completely throwing me, but I think I'll be hearing you say, 'I told you so.' …..and I can't wait to hear you say it."

He judiciously didn't mention Henry at all. He wasn't about to lie to her, and he was still fighting what he hoped were false mental images about what the boy was experiencing.

* * *

As he exited the ICU this morning, he could see that Hotch and Emily had joined Morgan in the waiting room, having brought coffee and breakfast with them.

"She'll make it," was all he said.

Emily started, "I thought they were still worried about her blood….."

"She'll make it." He spoke with such authority that Emily found herself believing him.

"Okay…..I'm so glad." And she reached out to give him a brief hug. The profiler in her used the embrace to gauge whether he was still trembling, but all she felt was calm assurance.

"Have some breakfast. I'm willing to bet you haven't had anything since lunch yesterday."

Morgan didn't need a second invitation, but Reid stuck with coffee. Despite his sense of peace about JJ, he couldn't settle until he had Henry back.

Which took hours more. Waiting for his next five minute visit, Reid became aware of movement in his peripheral vision. Looking up, he saw Garcia and Rossi coming down the hall. Rossi looked decidedly un-Rossi-like, for he was carrying a little towhead. Garcia seemed to be keeping up a running conversation with her godson.

Reid stood slowly, not quite sure he should believe what he was seeing. Rossi caught his action and bent to put the little boy down. Reid didn't have a chance to do anything but crouch down before Henry came barreling down the hallway and ran into his arms.

He'd been successful in suppressing his tears all night. But not now. Not with Henry back in his arms. Henry clung to him, and Reid buried his face in Henry's neck. He realized how tightly he was embracing the boy when he heard, "Uncle Spence, you're squishing me!"

Relieved laughter came from all of the adults. "Sorry, Buddy, I didn't mean to do that."

Reid put him down, but held on to him. "Let me look at you. Are you okay? Were they nice to you?" Praying for the right answer.

"They had a puppy! And there was another little boy there. His mother couldn't take care of him anymore."

Reid hugged him again. "Well, your mother is doing better, Henry. The doctors still have to take very good care of her, but she'll get better and come back home to us."

At his glance, Garcia took charge of her godson again. Reid went to Rossi. "Is it over? Can he stay with me?" Fearful of the response.

Rossi was nodding. "He can stay. I found a judge who would listen. He said it would all have been fine if the agency had never gotten involved, but once they did, they had to work within their policy."

Reid was confused. So how had Henry been released?

"I got the judge to call one of the higher ups in CFSA. He was able to make it happen without involving the court. The field workers are constrained by policy, but the higher ups are freer to make sensible decisions."

Reid was still overwhelmed. In a very unsteady voice, all he could say was, "Rossi, I have no words….."

"None needed, my friend. I was a parent once, however briefly. I can only imagine how I would feel if it were my son."

"Rossi, if there is ever any way I can repay you….."

"Just take care of them. The little guy talked my ear off in the car, but I have to say he's pretty cute. And you know I feel responsible for young JJ. So just take care of them, and we'll call it even."

Reid smiled at him, the first genuine smile since before the whole drama had unfolded. "I will make it my life's work."


	12. Chapter 12

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 12**

Reid realized that Henry wasn't quite himself when he polished off only two of the donut holes that remained from breakfast. He took the boy aside, walking him down the hall to a small bench in front of a window. He pulled Henry into his lap. Henry played with Reid's tie throughout their conversation.

"How are you doing, little man? Do you feel okay?" Despite all prior assurances, Reid wanted to rule out delayed effects of trauma.

"Yeah." The look on his face didn't match his response.

"You don't look so okay. Did you sleep last night? Did you eat any dinner?"

"I ate some grilled cheese." Then he sent an accusing look at Reid. "Why did I have to go away, Uncle Spence? Why didn't you take me and Mommy home?"

Reid had tried to prepare himself for this, had known it would be coming. He'd been unable to forgive himself for letting it happen, despite the knowledge that he'd had no choice. He felt he'd failed this boy he looked upon as a son. But he also knew he had to keep it light. If _he_ didn't understand, it was unlikely Henry would.

"I really don't know why it happened, Henry. Maybe because we didn't have the time to make another plan, and I needed to stay here with your mother." Henry seemed to be listening, so he went on.

"But now we have a better plan, and you won't have to go away ever again. I promise." Even as he said them, Reid hoped he'd never come to regret the words. "Tonight, you can sleep in your own bed. Auntie Penelope will come and stay with you. It will be just like when Mommy and I are on a case."

Henry seemed okay with that idea. Reid continued with his inquiry. "Buddy, did you sleep well last night?"

"I had a bad dream. Mommy wasn't there and you weren't there. The lady said, "Go back to sleep." But I was scared, Uncle Spence! I couldn't go back to sleep." And he started to cry, just a little bit.

Reid's heart broke for his godson. The nightmares had already been invading his sleep. Now, to have them in a strange place, with an unresponsive adult…..Henry had been through too much.

"Was it the same dream? The same as you had the last time?"

"A little bit the same. Mommy was there. The witch took her away!" Henry was starting to get more distressed, remembering. "Did the witch really take her away, Uncle Spence?"

Reid pulled him close, holding Henry's head against his chest. "It's okay, Henry. You're here with me now. You can sleep in your own bed tonight. And Mommy will be okay….the witch doesn't have her. That was just a dream. It wasn't real, little man." Reid kissed the top of his head.

Henry wasn't satisfied. "But where is Mommy, Uncle Spence? Why can't I see her? I want Mommy!" He was starting to ramp up.

Reid held him away a little bit, so he could catch his eyes. It calmed the boy.

"Do you remember the accident, Henry? When Mommy got her boo-boo?"

At Henry's nod, Reid continued. "Well, this is a special kind of boo-boo that the doctors have to fix. And they need Mommy to be close by them so they can keep getting her better. For now, that means Mommy has to stay in a special place that only doctors and nurses and some grownups can visit. And she needs to sleep….a lot."

"Why can't she sleep in my bed, with me?"

Henry was a bright boy. So much so, that sometimes Reid found himself having more complicated conversations with him, only to be reminded that the boy was only four years old. This was one of those times.

"Because she can't right now, Buddy. But pretty soon, when she gets better, she can come home and we can all have a sleepover again."

"You mean it, Uncle Spence?" At Reid's nod, Henry gave his first "Yay!" of the past two days.

* * *

Late in the evening of that second day, long after Henry had gone home with Garcia, Reid went in for yet another five minute visit with JJ. All day her 'numbers' had wavered, according to the nurses, between the normal and the 'dangerous' levels. Despite his firm belief in her recovery, the medical staff were unwilling to commit themselves to the idea. So Reid held firm alone, convinced of his belief, but unsupported by either the medical team or the evidence.

This time, as he approached JJ's cubicle, he noticed what looked like purposeful movement of her extremities_. Is she waking up?_

At her bedside, he did as he had been doing all day. He leaned far over, so as not to disturb any of the equipment to which she was attached, and kissed her forehead.

* * *

JJ felt like she was under water. Everything seemed muted, and far away. There was light, but it wasn't enough to bother her eyes. Her only bodily sensation was one of pain, in her abdomen. She was trying desperately to clear the fuzziness from her brain, but having little success. She couldn't fathom what kind of state she was in, where she was…couldn't remember anything that had come before, couldn't make sense of the present….couldn't even totally find all of her senses.

Slowly, as though they were passing through a thick substance, sounds made their way to her ears. There was an odd beeping, a sound of whirring…..and her name. "JJ."

She couldn't orient to anything else, but she knew her name. And the voice speaking it brought comfort, even as she struggled to identify whose voice it was.

* * *

"JJ." He repeated her name every few seconds. "JJ, it's Spence. You're doing great, just keep at it. I love you." He'd said almost the same words for every visit, every hour, since she'd left surgery. This time, he got a response. This time, she opened her eyes. It was only a slit, but they were open.

"JJ! You're awake!"

She didn't seem able to say anything, so Reid continued. "JJ." He started to smooth her hair back from her face. "I'm here. You were in an accident...a car accident. You were hurt, but you're going to be okay. Henry wasn't hurt at all. He's fine. He's with Garcia." He kept smoothing her hair, hoping eventually to see some kind of recognition in her eyes. "I'm here and I won't leave you. I'm just waiting for you to come back to me."

JJ blinked her eyes all the way open, but still had trouble taking in her surroundings. Reid read the confusion in her eyes. Between bedside visits, he'd been to the hospital library to try to absorb as much as possible about her condition and what she might be going through. He knew disorientation was a likely possibility.

"You're in the intensive care unit, JJ. It's Saturday night, almost Sunday. You've been here for a day and a half. You had surgery to fix some bleeding, but you're doing fine and you're going to be okay."

She'd moved her eyes to focus on him. He still didn't see the recognition he was hoping for, but she seemed a little more alert moment by moment. Perhaps it would be just a matter of time. He could only hope.

Reid signaled JJ's nurse to come over. "She's opening her eyes, but she doesn't seem to know me yet."

The nurse was reassuring. "It always takes a while for them to become alert enough to process what's happening. Just keep talking to her. I'll call the doctor on call tonight to let her know she's regained consciousness. It looks like you were right after all, Doctor Reid." She squeezed his arm. "Congratulations, it looks like you have her back."

They allowed him a longer visit this time, as they awaited the doctor. Reid found a way to hold a few fingers while he stroked JJ's forehead. Her eyes were opened wide now, allowing Reid to dissolve into that deep blue that always captured him. He kept up a one sided conversation about what had happened, how Henry was doing, how she was on the road to recovery. Every third sentence or so was "I love you, JJ." She was focused only on him, and he wondered if he was seeing just a hint of recognition flowing into her gaze.

Reid was dismissed to the waiting room when the physician came. She wanted to perform a full physical evaluation on JJ and to run her blood tests again.

Despite Reid's optimism, the team had been reluctant to leave him alone this second night in the hospital…..not until the medical staff was willing to confirm JJ's likelihood of survival. This night, Rossi had insisted on staying with him.

He hadn't known what to make of Reid's prolonged visit this time. Was it because she was improving? Or were they allowing him an extended goodbye? The look on Reid's face as he exited the ICU didn't help him at all.

"What happened?"

Reid was still processing as he tried to put it into words. "She opened her eyes. She's waking up."

Rossi was excited, pounded Reid on the back. "That's great news!" Seeing Reid's persistent concern, he added, "Isn't it?"

Reid was lost in thought. "What? Oh, yeah, it's great that she's waking up. The doctor's in with her now, checking her out."

"So why aren't you happy?"

"Rossi, I read a lot today about what happens with hypovolemic shock….that's what JJ had. If it's really bad….and they told us her blood pressure went really, really low…it can affect the brain. I'm not sure she knew me when I was talking to her. I hoped I was seeing something starting, but I'm not sure. Rossi, what if she's got brain damage?"

Over the several years he'd worked with Reid, Rossi had come to appreciate the blessing and the curse of having a genius brain. His young colleague could absorb mountains of information, sort through it, and help them solve unspeakable crimes. But his eidetic memory allowed him to let go of none of it. And so, every reprehensible act, every negative statistic, every poor outcome, was lodged irrevocably in his mind. A normal brain would allow its owner to focus only on the positive, but Reid was unable to do so. Rossi sought to help him with this.

"Reid, how many patients with shock end up with brain damage?"

"It depends on how long they were in shock. Anywhere from three to twenty two percent."

"And how long was JJ in shock?"

"They got her here and to surgery within thirty minutes. That puts her on the three percent end of things…but it's still three percent, Rossi. It's not zero."

"When this is over…..and it _will_ be over…you and I are going to have some 'glass half full' lessons, young man."

* * *

It wasn't until after the medical team had made their morning rounds that they were satisfied enough with JJ's condition to allow her to be moved to a regular hospital room. Reid had been in to see her hourly, but she'd fallen back to sleep and he hadn't been able to try to reach her again.

"She's not been fully awake yet, but her vital signs are stable and her blood chemistries are normalizing. Full alertness can take quite a while longer. She doesn't need an ICU bed for that." The resident was explaining the move to Reid and Rossi. None of the rest of the team had arrived yet. Garcia would stay at home with Henry until advised that he might be able to visit his mother. Reid thanked Rossi for his support, and sent him home for some real rest.

JJ was given a single bed room with a pull out chair. A number of the wires and tubes had been removed, allowing Reid to get much closer to her, and even to hold her hand. He sat at her bedside, stroking her arm and speaking softly those same words he'd been speaking since the accident. Gradually, his exhaustion overtook him and he fell asleep in the chair.

* * *

"Reid? Reid." Emily's voice penetrated his dream. He'd been reaching for something, not knowing what it was, but finding it always just beyond his grasp.

"Wha?" He tried to shake off the grogginess.

"I'm sorry I woke you. You were kind of thrashing around in the chair. It didn't look like a pleasant dream from here."

He leaned forward, rubbing his eyes. "I don't remember it. What time is it?"

"It's just after noon. I've been here for about an hour, but I was letting you sleep until it looked like I should wake you up. Morgan's with Garcia. Jack had a soccer game today, so Hotch is with him. How's JJ?"

He tried to follow Rossi's optimistic lead. "She started to wake up a little last night. So that's a good sign, right?"

Emily was excited to hear it. "Why wouldn't it be?"

He looked at her, still needing reassurance. "Because I don't think she knew me." He was shaking his head, remembering. "I thought I might have seen something, some recognition, just before she went out again, but I'm not sure. And she hasn't been awake since."

Emily wasn't sure if she should be concerned. "Isn't it common for someone to take a while to become fully alert?" Then she remembered the conversation she'd had with Reid yesterday, after he'd been to the library. "Are you worried about brain damage?"

He gulped and nodded. The eyes that should have reflected relief at JJ's improvement were instead clouded by fear and concern.

Emily squatted down in front of the chair, took both of Reid's hands in her own and rested them on his knees. "Reid, you've brought her this far. When none of the doctors or nurses would believe she'd recover, you held fast. You reached out to her and brought her back. She may not be able to show it yet, but she knows you're here. Don't give up on her now. Take that faith you have in your heart and hold on to it. All you have to do is be here. She'll come to you."

She let go of his hands and drew him into an embrace. He reached his arms around her, grateful for so many things…..the return of Henry, the awakening of JJ, the seed of faith, and the love of one very good friend.

* * *

Reid insisted on staying at JJ's bedside, so Emily went to hunt down some coffee and food for him. It was her determined intention to get some nourishment into her colleague and then, even if she had to call in reinforcements, to send him to rest. If he didn't, he'd find himself in a hospital bed next to JJ.

In the hospital room, Reid had lost a battle with his eyelids. They'd closed in spite of him. He didn't know how long he'd been out, but he found himself rousing to a soft sound. He had the sense it had been going on for a few minutes.

"SS…SSp….Spence." It was no more than a whisper, but it garnered the reaction of a cannon. He shot from the chair.

"JJ? JJ. JJ!" He swallowed thickly. "Do you know who I am?"

She couldn't lift her head, but her hand went up, and he grasped it. With just the hint of a smile on her face, she breathed, "You're my Spence. Did you forget?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 13**

Reid was flooded with gratitude. JJ was awake, and she knew him! As he stood over her bed, he kept lifting his arms, wanting to hold her, and then catching himself, realizing that he couldn't….not yet. Emily saw him from the hallway and walked into the room laughing.

"Reid, you look like you're flapping your wings. Are you trying to fl….JJ! You're awake!"

Reid was beaming at her. "Just now. I haven't even called in the nurse yet."

"I'm on it." Emily left to the nurses station.

Reid bent close to JJ, holding her hand and resting his other on the top of her head. "You had me scared for a while, Jennifer Jareau. I _knew _you'd come back to me, but I couldn't _really _know, of course, but I believed it. It's just that I wasn't sure _how_ you'd wake up, or when, or what it would….."

She'd held up her other hand in a gesture of 'stop'.

He crinkled his eyes at her. "Rambling?"

She gave the slightest nod.

He took a deep breath. "I'm just excited, JJ. " He started kissing the palm of her hand, the only part of her he could actually access. "I'm..(kiss)…just …(kiss)…..so…..(kiss)…..happy, so grateful, to have you back." Three more kisses.

She was smiling at him. She took his hand and kissed the back of it. Finally, he noticed that she hadn't said anything else after her first few words. He'd been so excited at her recognizing him that he'd leapt to the conclusion that she was intact. She looked fully alert and aware by now, so why wasn't she speaking?

"JJ, are you okay? Can you talk?"

She pointed to her throat. "Water."

"Oh!" _Of course, you dummy. She was intubated, her throat is hurting her. _He went to pour her a glass, then wasn't sure she was allowed to have it. "I think we need to wait for the nurse. You had surgery on your abdomen. I don't know if you're allowed to eat or drink."

The pain in her midsection had already alerted JJ that something had occurred there, but she had no knowledge of anything that had gone on since her admission. As she tried to think about it, she couldn't remember anything about why she was in the hospital.

Hoarsely, she got out, "What happened?"

He'd told her so many times when she was unconscious that he was surprised she didn't know. Later, she would tell him that she'd known his voice, and felt herself being drawn to it, out of her oblivion…..but couldn't process the words being said.

Reid contained himself enough to sit down, so he was closer to her eye level. "You were driving Henry to see the doctor. Do you remember he was having nightmares?"

She nodded, so he continued. "The police told us you were stopped at a traffic light and another car came at you, going at high speed. He hit you head on."

JJ's eyes had flown open even wider and she had a look of panic on her face. Reid didn't understand at first, and then realized where her mind must have gone.

"Henry? You're worried about Henry." His smile reassured her. "Henry's fine. He wasn't hurt at all." Reid hesitated. He knew he would have to tell her about the night in foster care eventually, but this wasn't the time. "He's with Garcia. She's staying at the house, so he can have his toys and sleep in his own bed."

JJ's form relaxed, telling Reid he'd done the right thing. He carried on with the story.

"The police and the EMTs said you seemed all right at first. You'd even gotten Henry out of the car. But then you collapsed and went into shock." Even now, with all of it in the past, his voice shook at the thought of how close he might have come to losing her.

"You had a tear in your liver, and a lot of internal bleeding. They took you right to the operating room and repaired it. " His voice was still shaking, prompting a look of inquiry from JJ.

He swallowed down tears that wanted to fall. "Your blood pressure had fallen so low that some of your organs were failing. Your blood tests weren't looking good. They weren't sure you would survive."

Now he wasn't sure he should have told her that. Would she be afraid? He was reassuring. "Everything went back to normal yesterday. You're doing great now, JJ. Nothing to worry about."

Over the time they'd been together, Reid had come to wonder how JJ could be so articulate with her eyes. Right now they were saying, "So why are you still so upset?"

He took her hand in both of his and held it to his face. "I don't want to do life without you, JJ. For a little while, I thought I was looking at that. And I don't ever want to look at it again."

She pulled her hand away from his face and signaled him to get closer. When he had, she reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. It was a gesture that always seemed to bring him peace. It did so today. But today it also brought tears of gratitude…..that he still had his JJ, and that she was still able to calm him with her touch.

* * *

Emily finally returned with the nurse. She'd actually elected to make a few detours along the way, giving JJ and Reid some time alone together.

The nurse entered the room smiling. She was aware Reid hadn't left the hospital in two days, nor JJ's side since she'd left the ICU. "I'm very happy for you, Dr. Reid." Turning to JJ, she added, "Ms. Jareau, my name is Linda. I'm your nurse for this evening. You have quite a special man here."

JJ smiled. She already knew that.

JJ's special man interrupted. "Her throat is so dry, she can hardly talk. Can I give her some water?"

Linda was nodding. "Clear liquids are all right. And if you can tolerate them, Ms. Jareau, we'll get the doctor to advance your diet later."

Reid helped JJ sip through a straw. When she had soothed her throat, she fell back onto the pillow. Just the little bit of energy she'd expended had exhausted her. Linda noticed and made a nursing pronouncement.

"My patient needs her rest. I want you (pointing to Reid) to go home and get some yourself. I don't need the visitors passing out on me. And I would suggest that you (looking at Emily) take him. He shouldn't be driving in his state."

All any of them could say was, "Yes ma'am!" Linda left the room confident her orders would be obeyed.

Emily was disappointed not to have been able to visit with JJ, but she understood the situation. She would bring Reid home and then plan to see JJ after work tomorrow. She bussed her on the cheek and squeezed her hand. "I'm _so_ happy you're okay. Love you, my friend." And then left so the couple could say goodbye privately.

Reid bent to JJ. Putting his mouth very near her ear, he whispered, "Say the word and I'll sneak back in."

JJ giggled. Which made her belly hurt. "Spence, don't make me laugh! Not tonight, anyway." She reached up and caressed his face. "I love you. And I will still love you tomorrow. Get some sleep tonight and I'll see you in the morning."

"Can I call you later, to say goodnight?"

She tried to wink at him, but was too tired to be coordinated. "If Linda lets you."

He kissed her, this time on the lips. She still tasted like JJ.

"Good night. I love you."

Before he left the hospital, Reid asked Emily to give him a few minutes. Then he did something that would never have occurred to him before. He stopped once again in the hospital chapel, went to his knees, and prayed, "Thank You."

* * *

"Where's home?" Emily was starting her car.

"What?"

"Where am I taking you? To your apartment or to JJ's house?"

He hadn't planned that far ahead. "I think I should be with Henry. He needs me now."

Emily smiled. She was already headed in that direction.

* * *

They found Henry and Garcia heavily embroiled in a game of 'Go Fish'. The little guy raced into Reid's arms the moment his godfather entered the house. "Uncle Spence!" He threw his arms around Reid's neck and wouldn't let go.

Garcia was sighing. As much as she and her godson loved each other, she knew the special bond was with Reid. "I was trying to keep him occupied. We've probably spent a zillion nights with each other while you guys were away on cases, but he's different about it this time. I think he knows how different this time is."

"Thank you, Garcia….for everything." Now he needed to share his good news. "JJ's awake! And she's talking. She doesn't remember about the accident, but that's pretty common. The important thing is that she's turned the corner and she's doing well."

Garcia was clapping her hands. "Did you hear that, Henry? Your mom is going to be fine!"

Henry already knew that, because his Uncle Spence told him so yesterday. What he didn't understand was why she wasn't home with him, right now, when everybody else was here. "I want Mommy!"

Reid sat down with him on the couch. "Little man, remember I told you how your mom had a special kind of boo-boo that the doctors had to take care of? " The little blond nodded.

"Remember I said only doctors and nurses and grownups could visit her?" Henry was sad about this one, but he nodded again.

"Well, guess what. They took such good care of her that, starting tomorrow, little boys can visit her too." Reid joined Emily and Garcia in smiling at the grin that was spreading across Henry's face.

"Like me, Uncle Spence? I'm a little boy!"

Now all of the adults were sharing a long awaited moment of comic relief. "Like you, Buddy. I'll take you to see her in the morning. She said to tell you she can't wait."

Henry leapt down from Reid's lap and ran into his room. The ladies took that time to say their goodnights to Reid. He thanked Garcia again. She'd been a lifeline for Henry.

Before she left, Reid pulled Emily aside. "Don't think I didn't see everything you did for us."

When she looked befuddled, he explained. "You held me up when I needed it, talked sense into me about Henry and the social worker….and gave me time with JJ. You are the friend I could never have dreamed of having. Thanks, Emily. I love you."

She smiled and hugged him. "Likewise. Good night."

Shortly after the women left, Henry emerged from his room again, with something in his hand. "Can we call Mommy, Uncle Spence?" He was used to ending his nights with her even when she was on the road. Reid was beginning to understand what he had planned.

"Just what I was thinking, Henry."

JJ answered her phone, speaking softly so as not to raise the attention of Nurse Linda. "Hi, Buddy. I miss you!"

"Hi Mommy! Uncle Spence said I can visit you tomorrow. Can you come home then?"

"Probably not tomorrow, little man, but soon. Can I speak with Uncle Spence for a minute?"

Reid got on the phone and assured JJ that Henry was doing well. "I'm going to stay with him until you get home. And then, provided you agree, I'm going to stay with both of you until you don't need me anymore."

"I don't think that time is going to come, Spence."

He was projecting his smile through the phone. "Well, I guess we'll have something to talk about, then. Right now, my godson has something he'd like to do for you."

"Close your eyes, Mommy. You can just listen."

She could hear Reid in the background, prompting him. JJ's eyes filled to overflowing as she listened to her son read her a bedtime story. "You're my little star, Mommy. Good night."


	14. Chapter 14

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 14**

"Moooommmmmyy!"

Reid wasn't sure what had awakened him until he heard it again.

"Moooommmmmyy!"

Henry. _It must be another nightmare. _As he went to the child's room, Reid realized that this was the first time he'd awakened to Henry's cry. The other nights, the other times he'd had a nightmare, Henry had simply appeared in the bed with them. JJ had been the one who'd roused and gone to him_. Maybe I really am becoming a parent_, Reid thought. _My antennae are becoming more and more attuned to Henry's needs._

His godson was distressed when Reid entered his bedroom. "I want Mommy!" He was crying.

Reid sat on the bed and gathered Henry into his arms. The boy was shaking.

"It's all right, Henry, I'm here. Remember, Mommy had to stay with the doctors tonight so they could make her better. We'll go and see her in the morning."

Reid was rubbing Henry's back. "Did you have a bad dream, little man?"

Henry was quieting, but still had those hiccupping sobs. "The witch was chasing me. I don't want her to catch me, Uncle Spence! She's scary!"

Briefly, Reid profiled the nightmare as though it were an unsub. Its cycle was shortening. Perhaps it would become disorganized enough to reveal its cause. Perhaps they'd have a breakthrough about it soon.

"It's okay, Henry. There's no witch. It's just a dream. She's not real."

"Yes, she is. She's in my sleep!"

Stumped by a tyke. _I guess I'm going to have to read up on four year old psychology. _ "Okay, Buddy. But you're awake now. So she's gone."

When Henry looked unconvinced, Reid offered, "Would it help if I stayed with you?"

Immediately, Henry brightened. "Like a sleepover, Uncle Spence?"

"I guess you could call it that, Henry. We'll have a sleepover in your bed."

And so, godfather and godson had their very first all boys sleepover together, with godfather's feet extending well beyond the end of the bed. Reid woke up with sore ankles.

* * *

Reid had spent the night many times before, but JJ had always assumed responsibility for organizing their morning and getting all three of them out the door on time. This day, he came to appreciate what a monumental task that was. _Note to self, worship at her feet._

Henry dawdled at absolutely _everything._ He needed to play with the cereal box during breakfast, and then to play dive bomber with the last three grains of carbohydrate floating in his milk. It was necessary to blow bubbles through a straw immersed into said milk in the cereal bowl. Getting dressed was its own kind of adventure. Henry didn't much care what he wore, but he thought it was great fun to put his shorts on his head, his feet in his shirt…..and to remind Reid, after he was 'fully' dressed, that he'd not put on underwear.

_Now I know why I love him so much. If I didn't, I'd have to throttle him._

They finally made it out the door a little after ten. _We're in time for visiting hours, but I don't know how I'll ever get him to preschool._

* * *

"Will Mommy look sick, Uncle Spence?"

They'd arrived and were making their way down the hallway. Henry was wide-eyed at all of it. He seemed intimidated by the atmosphere, and held tightly to Reid's hand as they walked.

"No, Henry, she'll look just like Mommy. Just a little more tired than usual."

"Uncle Spence, could you carry me? I'm scared."

Reid imagined what the hospital would look like from a four year old's vantage point. "Come on up, little man." And he lifted him into his arms. "Nothing to be scared about." He could sense Henry relaxing in the security of his godfather's grasp.

When they approached JJ's door, Henry knocked for them. JJ had been dozing but looked up. Her smile was exactly what Reid and Henry needed to see.

"Hi, my baby boy! I'm so happy to see you!"

"Mommy, Mommy!" His excitement at seeing his mother overwhelmed his fear of the hospital, and Henry began scrappling to be let down. Reid held him back for a moment.

"Henry, remember what I told you. Mommy has a boo-boo in her belly, and it still hurts her. So no jumping on Mommy, and no jumping on her bed." He could tell that Henry, though he been forewarned, was disappointed.

"Here, maybe we can do it like this." Reid held on to the boy and tilted him down toward JJ's torso so that mother and son could exchange a hug without disturbing her wound.

JJ was as excited as Henry. She reached up and hugged his neck, covering his face and head with kisses. Henry tolerated the kisses, but did not return them. But he held on to his mom's neck as tightly as his arms would allow.

Reid finally put him down, with a "Remember now, Henry."

"I will." Turning to JJ, he asked his mother, "Mommy, where's your boo-boo? Can I see it?"

JJ knew the wound site would scare her son, so she just pointed in the direction of her abdomen. "It's in here, but it's all covered up, Henry. Nothing to look at."

"Does it hurt, Mommy?"

She joked, "Only when I laugh." Which disturbed Henry greatly. He couldn't imagine not being able to laugh. But he was determined to help his mom.

"Okay, I'll try not to be your 'funny little boy', then." Which made JJ's belly hurt.

"Come here, little man." JJ needed Reid's assistance to sit up. She reached her arms over the side of the bed and grasped Henry by the shoulders. Reid could see that the amount of twisting she had to do to accomplish this was causing her considerable discomfort, but he could also see how much good it was doing her to be with Henry.

"You will always be my 'funny little boy', and my 'best boy', and my 'big boy', and my 'little man.' No matter what. Forget about boo-boos." Henry was happy.

"Have you been a good boy for Uncle Spence and Auntie Penelope?"

"Mm-hmm. And for the lady, too."

JJ turned to Reid with a puzzled look, but her question was preempted by the arrival of the rounding team. A senior physician, a gaggle of younger ones, and a nurse had entered the room after a perfunctory knock. Henry was intimidated and reached for Reid to pick him up again.

One of the younger women, either a medical student or a resident, started speaking.

"This is a 32 year old female victim of an MVA three days status post repair of a laceration to her liver. She suffered severe hypotension before surgery, requiring 8 units of blood. Her chemistries have all returned to normal and her wound is healing well. Her pain level is a..."the speaker looked to JJ, who knew she was supposed to rate it on a scale of 1-10. She held up 6 fingers..."six. We've consulted with the neurological service for a full evaluation later today."

This was the first time either JJ or Reid had heard her story put so clinically. Despite the fact that it was an automobile and not an unsub that had caused her injury, both found themselves prickly hearing her described as a 'victim.' Reid, in particular, couldn't stomach the thought of anyone or anything victimizing JJ, and almost rebutted the presentation. But he became distracted from that thought when he heard the neurological evaluation announced.

With her nodded assent, he spoke for both of them. "What is the neurological evaluation for?"

The medical team deferred to the senior physician. "In cases like Ms. Jareau's, where the blood pressure has been very low for a long period of time, there can be damage to sensitive organs. Most of them, like the kidneys, we can check with a simple blood test. The brain is harder to examine, especially since there can be small areas of damage that don't show up for a while. There are no neurological deficits to our exam, but we always like to have a formal evaluation done to be sure."

JJ and Reid looked at each other with mixed feelings. They were reassured that there had been no problems evident so far, but disturbed at what felt like a new, unexpected hurdle to get over. Reid had anticipated possible memory issues, but been satisfied when JJ seemed to know him. Now he wondered what he might have overlooked in his research.

The team moved on and JJ and Reid were left alone with Henry, who was now content to be back on the ground. He busied himself looking at the several cards and plants that had come in, and then discovered that his mom could control the TV from her bed. He immersed himself in Sesame Street.

"Garcia was finally able to get word to your parents in Australia. They wanted to come home immediately, but are having trouble making arrangements."

"I'm glad she couldn't get them right away. It's better that they find out after the worst is over. But Spence, this was their 'trip of a lifetime'! I don't want them to cut it short because of me!"

"I think their ship is scheduled to be in port until tomorrow. We can probably call them this evening and you can reassure them yourself. I'm sure they'll feel better after they've heard your voice." Reid was remembering how much he'd needed to hear it himself.

"And Will?"

"I called his captain. I guess he's not approachable right now, he's gone too deep undercover and they're at a crucial point in the investigation. But he'll pass the word when he can."

JJ was in 'management mode.' "I've been thinking about how to do this. Maybe Henry can go back to preschool tomorrow, so that he can have a relatively normal schedule. And then you can go back to work. Do you think you can get him to preschool?"

Reid remembered his resolve to 'worship at her feet.'

"JJ, I have truly never appreciated you the way I should."

She didn't understand.

"How in the world have you been getting him out of the house in the morning?"

She started to laugh, and then clutched at her belly. "You guys are deadly to my incision pain." Reid gave her a pillow to hold over it, in case he or Henry were accidentally comical.

"You can't let him know you're on a schedule. He has an unexplainable aversion to my being on time for anything. So I pretend we've all the time in the world, and then make a game of it. Like, 'I'll bet you can't get dressed before I finish the dishes'."

"Ah, I've got to think like a four year old." Then he frowned. "But I've _never _thought like a four year old, JJ, even when I was four...not even when I was two, come to think of it." He shrugged. "I've got no experience to go on."

JJ just raised her brows at him. He got it. "I know, 'look it up'."

* * *

Reid took Henry over to his sitter's house for the afternoon. A whole day at the hospital was not in the cards for a busy preschooler. When he returned, the neurologist was just finishing JJ's assessment.

JJ introduced Reid and asked that he be present for what the specialist had to say.

"I'm pleased to be able to tell you that I found no neurological deficits. It doesn't look like you have any discernible permanent damage, Ms. Jareau."

"I hear a 'but' coming, Doctor." JJ was apprehensive.

"Well, there's a limit to what we can tell on a physical exam. Really, even a scan can miss some microscopic areas of deficit. But things that are so small rarely have any clinical impact. There's no reason to think you will have any difficulty doing all of the things you've been doing."

"But..." Now it was Reid.

"I tell all of my patients in your position the same thing. There may be very isolated memory loss...even a specific memory or a specific day...and most of these are recoverable with time. More commonly, there might be some periods of emotional lability...you may find yourself with an exaggerated emotional response to something, or you may even become emotional with no obvious precipitating event. It's common enough that I like to warn patients, but it's not dangerous and it eventually goes away. With a normal exam, as you've had today, and with time, I feel safe in saying you'll be fully back to normal within a period of time." Noticing the unspoken question, he added, "Usually within two to three months."

JJ reached out for Reid's hand. He held hers tightly, able to tell she was upset. Even though she wasn't experiencing any of the anticipated problems now, it felt like a setback.

The physician left them alone. Reid sought to comfort JJ.

"It's not a definite thing, and you've shown no sign of it so far. What do you always tell me? Don't start worrying about things you can't control?"

"But what if I do something or say something in front of Henry? He's hardly ever seen me cry, and it's always scared him when it happens." Reid thought, but did not say, _it scares me when it happens, too._

Gently, he sat beside her on the bed so that he could hold her against him. "JJ, how about we cross that bridge if and when we come to it. Henry's a bright boy. If we need to explain anything to him, I think he might be able to understand." Even as he was reassuring her, Reid was reminding himself to get busy on studying the workings of the four year old mind.

* * *

The rest of the team came by to visit after work.

Hotch had made arrangements for them to stand down again, with two of their agents unavailable. After he bent to kiss JJ on the cheek, Hotch stood and studied her for a minute. "It's good to have you getting well, JJ. We were worried about you."

JJ's bond with Hotch had always been strong. She knew this had been hard for him as well. "I'll be back before you know it...I hope."

"Don't you dare hurry back before you're ready, Jayje." Garcia was fussing over her as she poured some soup. JJ had been given permission to advance her diet, but she wasn't quite ready yet.

"Young JJ, you're looking beautiful." Rossi had brought flowers.

"Really, JJ, he's right. I wish I looked as good at the end of a spa day." Emily knew she was exaggerating, but only a little bit.

"Princess, if that's true, you might want to get a refund." Morgan moved around her to get to the patient. "JJ, it's good to see you up. How's Pretty Boy doing? He was looking like he needed the hospital bed himself." Morgan was looking around for Reid.

"I sent him home to put Henry to bed. If he doesn't get him down early, I don't think there's any chance he'll get him to preschool tomorrow."

Garcia leapt in. "Jayje, do you want me to take Henry? He usually does pretty well with me."

JJ smiled to herself, thinking of her conversation with Reid that afternoon. "Reid's pretty insistent. He wants to take care of Henry, and get a routine established. He plans to stay with us and help once I'm discharged. But thanks, Pen. You're a wonderful friend to offer."

Emily was curious. "Has he ever had Henry full time before?"

"Only for babysitting." JJ had figured out how to hold the pillow to her belly before she laughed….which she did, now. "I don't think he quite realizes, although I think he had a dose of Henry this morning."

She told the others about Reid trying to get Henry out of the house, and they all shared a laugh at their resident genius being outsmarted by a four year old.

Hotch had something to tell JJ. "I've had a few conversations up the chain. We can't be a fully operational team with two members down, and I don't want to introduce new people to the mix for a short term stint. Our team's functioning depends on group dynamics too much for that."

None of them were sure where he was going with this. Was he going to have to find a permanent replacement for JJ? For Reid too? Would the team disassemble entirely?

Hotch was reassuring. "It's been agreed that we can work down one member...that would be you, JJ. I want you to concentrate on healing. They've agreed that Reid can be a non-traveling member of the team. He can work cases from the BAU, or even from home, conditions permitting. So we'll be able to keep the team intact until you're able to rejoin us full time."

A collectively held breath was let out. JJ wondered. "Does Reid know?"

"Not yet. He suggested the solution, but I had to convince the powers that be of its wisdom. Would you like to tell him?"

She nodded. "I'll be talking with him later. Thanks, Hotch."

Garcia stayed behind after the rest of the team departed, to help JJ make the connection to her parent's ship. She watched JJ tear up as she listened to her mother crying for her daughter on the phone. And then she observed as JJ determinedly instructed her parents not to interrupt their trip.

"I'm going home soon, I have plenty of help, and I would be heartbroken if you ended your trip early. It's something you've waited for all your lives! I would feel so guilty!" Garcia mused that JJ knew exactly how to use 'guilt' to convince her parents to complete their trip.

Having agreed to her parents visiting when they returned the following month, JJ realized she hadn't ever told them about Reid…..or even about what had happened with Will. _That should be an interesting_ _visit_, she though.

* * *

At home, Reid was putting Henry through his bedtime routine….or maybe Henry was putting Reid through it. Reid had more experience with this end of the day than he did the mornings, so he felt able to accomplish bath time, story time, prayer time and, finally, bed time, with confidence. Leaving the door open a crack so that he'd be sure to hear Henry's cry should it come, Reid sat down to read. He'd already absorbed his study of the four year old mindset during the afternoon, when JJ had drifted into a nap. Tonight, he pulled out a copy of _Crime and Punishment_ in Russian. He found that reading the classics in their native languages exercised his brain in a way that no other literature did.

Tonight, that brain was distracted. In the past, he'd been able to put any emotional issues aside and settle into his reading. Now, the intimate, important relationships that had entered his life assumed priority. His thoughts were of JJ, and Henry, and how much they had changed him. Of how full his life was with them in it. Of how lost he would be without them. Of how grateful he was that hadn't happened, despite the threat of the past few days.

He realized he'd slipped into a prayer of thanks without even thinking about it_. So much has changed in my life…it's almost unrecognizable. _I'm _almost unrecognizable. And I couldn't be happier about it. Thank You. _

He was still holding this thought when little feet padded forth. Henry had awakened and wanted to visit. Reid noticed the lack of distress, so felt sure there had been no nightmare.

"Henry, what are you doing up?"

"I'm keeping you company, Uncle Spence. What are you doing?"

"I'm reading, Henry. And you should be sleeping."

Henry picked up the book and opened it. "How can you read this book, Uncle Spence? It doesn't have any pictures."

"Ah, Henry, the pictures are all up here." He was pointing to his head.

"You mean you think them up, Uncle Spence?" Reid thought Henry was pretty astute to have picked that up.

"Yup. I read the words, and they tell me a story, and they help me make a picture in my mind."

"How, Uncle Spence?"

Reid knew the little guy was probably stalling, but was enthused about helping him to understand. No one loved books more than Spencer Reid, and he was determined that Henry LaMontagne would grow up loving them as well.

"Well, Henry, when Mommy tells you a story, or your teacher tells you a story, what do you think about?"

"The story." Reid wanted to hit himself in the head. He remembered reading this afternoon that even advanced four year olds are very concrete.

He tried another route. "Well, remember the story about Goldilocks and the Three Bears?" At Henry's nod, he continued. "Remember that you drew a picture of the bears?" Again, a nod. "How did you know what they looked like?"

"From the story!" Now Henry was getting it. "And the three little pigs and the house made out of straw and the house made out of bricks….I can _see_ them, Uncle Spence!"

"How, Henry?" Reid was getting excited for him.

"From the words!" Henry was genuinely excited as well. "Uncle Spence, can you show me how to know what the words say?"

"Absolutely, little man. But not tonight. Uncle Spence is very tired, so I think I'm going to bed too."

"Can we have another sleepover, Uncle Spence?"

"Let's try it in our own beds tonight, Henry. Maybe we can each have a dream, and we can tell each other the story at breakfast."

Henry was willing to try. "Okay, Uncle Spence. Will you tuck me in again? Mommy always does."

Reid caught that one. "Do you get up a lot after you've gone to bed, Henry?" He hadn't noticed it happening very much during the many evenings he'd spent there.

Guilty. "Sometimes. Mommy says I think too much. Then I can't sleep."

"What are you thinking so hard about, little man?"

Henry was quiet for a moment. He looked like he knew it was a hard subject but didn't understand why.

"Daddy. He used to tuck me in with Mommy. I miss him." Henry saw Reid close his eyes, but didn't understand the reaction. "Mommy is sad when I talk about Daddy. Are you sad too, Uncle Spence?"

_Only for you, buddy._

"Uncle Spence, why did Daddy go away?"

Reid's heart skipped a beat. Immediately, he was praying again. _Help!_ _Please give me the right words. And please don't let me say anything that JJ wouldn't want._

He sat Henry on his lap so he could hold him tighter. It leant him emotional support at the same time that it gave him a way to gauge the boy's reaction.

"Did you ever ask your mom that question?"

Henry nodded. "She said he had to live in his own house. But it's far away. You have to take an airplane to get there."

"But he can still come to visit you, right? And you can visit him?"

"Yeah…." Henry didn't sound fully convinced.

"I know it's not the same, buddy, but at least you get to see him." He shifted Henry on his lap. "Little man, I don't have all the answers myself. But there are some things that I _do_ know." He had his godson's attention. "I know that your dad loves you very much. He told me so. And I know that, even when he can't be right here with you, he never stops thinking about you. You will always be his little boy, whether he's here or far away, and he will always love you, just like you always love him. Right?"

Henry was vigorously nodding his love for his dad.

And then the little empath turned his affection to his godfather. "Uncle Spence? I love you too." Henry put his arms around Reid's neck and gave him a hug. He didn't see the adult's eyes fill.

Something occurred to Henry. "Uncle Spence, where's your little boy?"

Reid was stymied. Hadn't Henry realized after all this time that he was childless? Where was this coming from? Then he remembered his reading. Four year olds constantly explore and categorize their world, and in Henry's mind, adults were either parents or teachers. And he knew Reid wasn't a teacher, so…. He didn't have a category for the childless.

"No, Henry, sadly I don't have any children."

Henry studied him for what seemed a long time. Since he was on Reid's lap, his face was just inches away. It made the scrutiny seem exquisite. He was trying to make sense of an adult who didn't have any children, and simply couldn't do it. Finally, Henry seemed to have reached a conclusion. He had to right this wrong. "Well, if you don't have one, I could be your little boy."

It took Reid several moments to find his voice. This little one who had stolen his heart had just filled it to overflowing. He clutched Henry into a tight embrace so that he wouldn't frighten the boy with the tears that threatened to spill. "I would like that very much, Henry."

They sat cuddled together until Henry fell asleep against Reid. Gently, Reid brought Henry to his bed and tucked him in. He sat in the dark at the side of the boy's bed for a long time, pondering the unexpected fullness of his life.


	15. Chapter 15

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 15**

Being more savvy about four year olds now, Reid actually got Henry out of the house only fifteen minutes behind schedule the following morning. He was intent on getting to the BAU to work with Garcia on making sure he knew how to assure a secure internet connection from home, so that he could contribute to the team while still being available to JJ full time. She was due to be discharged the following day.

"Hey, Junior G Man, you're earlier than I thought you'd be."

"Well, thanks to his mother and my digestion of four books on child development, my apparently-not-so-genius brain is finally helping me outsmart our godson."

Garcia was smiling. "How is my favorite little boy?"

"He misses his mom, but I took him to see her yesterday, and that seemed to help."

Garcia was glad. "You'll let me know if you need me to help with him, right?" At Reid's grateful smile and nod, she continued, "Okay, now let's see if that genius brain can absorb a few computer commands." She was sympathetic. "I know it's not your favorite thing to work with."

"Give me markers and a case board any day. But I am more than willing to make the sacrifice."

Garcia showed him what to do, and even gave him a print out of the commands. For some reason, his eidetic memory worked better from paper than it did from a computer screen. He was getting ready to leave when Garcia stopped him.

"Hey, Reid, can we talk about something?" Garcia seemed suddenly serious.

Reid caught her concern. "Of course, what is it?"

"Does JJ know about Henry spending the night in foster care?"

She saw the burden in Reid's face. "Not yet. I didn't want to upset her any further in the hospital." He was looking down. "I can't help but feel like I failed her…..like I failed them both."

"Reid, there was nothing you could have done. If you'd fought it any more, you would have been arrested, and Henry would still have been taken."

He looked at her again. "I guess I know that in my head, Garcia, but it doesn't change how it feels inside. And I know JJ well enough to be sure that's how it will feel to her, too."

Garcia stared at him. Part of her knew he was right, but part of her hoped JJ would be able to let reason win out. She didn't want this uncontrollable situation, now already in the past, to hurt either of her friends, and she especially didn't want it to hurt a relationship she'd helped to foster.

Reid continued. "I need to get it over with, because Henry almost let it out yesterday. I'll probably tell her when I get her home tomorrow, after Henry's down. She may need you then."

Garcia rubbed his arm in sympathy. "I'll be there whenever you need me, my friend."

* * *

At the hospital, Reid found JJ in good spirits. "I made two loops around the hospital floor this morning, and the second time, I wasn't even shuffling!"

Reid was enthused with her. "No shuffling? Summer Olympics, here we come!"

He was close enough for her to punch his arm. "Ouch! Speaking of which, how is your pain today?"

"Better….and worse. Mostly because I'm moving more. So at rest, it's fine. When I bend or stretch, it spikes. But once the meds kick in, I'm okay."

Reid was protective. "When we get home tomorrow, you're to take it easy. Sofa, pillows, bon-bons…only those for my lady."

"And will you shuffle around the house with me?" JJ was teasing him. Reid smiled, and then gave her one of those penetrating looks.

"I want us to still be shuffling around the house together in fifty years, JJ."

She squeezed his hand and pulled him closer for a kiss. "Me too, Spence."

At that, JJ's nurse arrived to review her discharge plans with them.

"As long as today goes well, you're set for discharge tomorrow morning. Here are prescriptions for your pain meds and a few sleeping pills as well." JJ looked puzzled at that, so the nurse explained. "It's not unusual to have some sleep difficulties when you first go home after a trauma, and especially after a stay in the ICU. You may or may not need them, but you'll have them."

The nurse continued, "You can expect to have some continued pain for as long as a month or six weeks, although it should be minimal after about ten days. If it's not, you need to let the doctor know. You should also call if you notice a yellow color to your skin, excessive itching, or weakness. And you are to call the neurologist if you have extensive memory loss or confusion." JJ's sarcastic streak was wondering how she would remember the instructions if she had 'extensive memory loss'.

When the nurse left, JJ and Reid looked at each other and then shared nervous laughter. "Since none of that has happened in the hospital, it almost sounds too dangerous to go home!" JJ tried to joke. But she was a little unnerved by the potential for what could go wrong.

Reid was reassuring. "They have to say all that, it doesn't mean it's likely. Let's just focus on the positive, and on getting you well." _Maybe Rossi's 'glass half full' idea wasn't half bad._ "I, for one, can't wait to have you home again. And I know a certain little blond boy who feels the same way….in spades."

The thought of being home with Henry was enough to bring out JJ's sunshine smile and banish any darkness from her mind. She closed her eyes. "It hasn't even been a week and I feel like it's been forever. I can't wait to be home with my boy again." She looked at Reid with love. "With both of my boys."

* * *

Reid abbreviated his visit with JJ to go home and tackle the house. He wanted it in pristine condition so that JJ wouldn't be feeling a need to take care of anything. Compared with his small apartment, Reid found the house considerably more work to keep up. Then he realized it wasn't so much the size of the living space as it was _who_ was living there. Henry's room looked like a cyclone had hit it, and much of the clutter in the rest of the house seemed to be Henry-generated as well. _So I guess this clean up will last about thirty minutes._

* * *

Henry ran into the house when Reid brought him home from preschool. He'd been told his mom would be coming home tomorrow, and he wanted to prepare for her welcome.

"Can we make a sign, Uncle Spence? A big one!" And he held his arms outstretched.

"You mean a banner, Henry?"

"Yeah, a big sign! 'Welcome Home Mommy!'"

"Sure, Buddy. Your mom will love it."

Reid had seen a roll of brown wrapping paper in the closet that would suffice. Henry ran for the crayons. With his godfather's spelling assistance, Henry made a banner for his mother, complete with flowers, sun, clouds, caterpillars and, inexplicably, snowmen.

"Snowmen, Henry? It's summer now, you know."

"Mommy loves snowmans, Uncle Spence. We make them with the snow."

"You're right, Henry. We should put all the things Mommy loves on the banner."

That caused Henry to pause. He'd thought he was done, but then realized he needed to add to the banner. When he picked up his crayons again, Reid watched him draw two figures . From Henry's 'three bears' picture, Reid recognized that Henry was adding himself and his godson to the banner. Some distant part of his mind noticed that Henry hadn't added Will. _I wonder if he is beginning to understand. _When Henry was satisfied with his work, they hung the banner over the fireplace.

Reid hadn't quite completed his sweep of Henry's room, so engaged the boy in helping him. Which extended the time necessary for the task considerably, since Henry wanted to discuss each of his toys before he put them away.

"These are my army men, Uncle Spence. Did you have army men when you were a little boy?"

Reid knew Henry wouldn't be able to understand how different his own childhood had been from his godson's. "You know, I don't remember, Henry."

"Well, this is how you play with them. " And he set a few up and then used another to knock them all down, making 'oh, no' and 'go, Joe' noises as he did so.

Reid caught on quickly. He started making the men jump over one another and then made them leap into the box that was supposed to hold them. Henry joined in and didn't even realize he was putting them away_. I think I might be getting the hang of this_, mused Reid.

* * *

Over their hot dog dinner, Reid prepared Henry for JJ's homecoming the following day. He wanted the boy to be gentle with his mother, but wasn't at all sure he understood. He did notice his godson seemed to be working hard to absorb the information.

Finishing the after dinner clean up, Reid joined Henry in the living room. The boy typically kept up chatter whenever they were together, but Reid noticed he was unusually quiet this evening. Was he concerned about the homecoming? About needing to be careful with his mom?

"What are you thinking about, little man?"

"Uncle Spence, can Mommy still take care of me?"

Reid was caught off guard. "Where is this coming from, Henry? Why are you asking?"

"Well, you said Mommy had to sit down and I had to be careful. How can she take care of me?" His voice was acquiring a tone of distress.

Reid sought to calm him even as he knew he didn't fully understand what was troubling the boy. Was he worried he'd be uncared for? "Henry, I'm going to stay here until Mommy is all better, so I'll take care of you."

That was apparently not the right answer. Henry was upset now. "I want Mommy to take care of me! I need Mommy!"

Henry fought him a little, but Reid still managed to pull the boy into his lap. When he did, Henry buried his face in Reid's chest. _Just when I think I'm getting smarter than a four year old, I learn humility._ Reid was at a loss. He needed Henry to tell him.

Holding him away to watch his face, Reid addressed Henry. "Henry, I want to know what you're thinking about. Why can't I take care of you? Why does it have to be Mommy? She'll still be here, she's just not all better yet."

"Because the other boy said his mommy couldn't take care of him anymore! And he couldn't go home again! He had to stay with the lady!"

_The other little boy?_ And then it made sense. The other little boy in foster care. Henry was afraid he'd lose his family if his mother couldn't care for him. Reid remembered his own stint as a little boy, with the same, albeit much more realistic, fear. His heart ached thinking of the burden Henry had carried without being able to articulate it. Reid knew that burden all too well.

He squeezed Henry tight. "Little man, it's not the same thing at all. That other boy's mother was too sick to get better, so he needed somebody else to take care of him. Your mom is going to be fine before you know it, and until she is, you have me. You'll have both of us. You won't have to go anywhere, Henry. You'll stay here with your mom and me."

"Forever and ever?"

"Forever and ever." _If I have anything to say about it._

"I love you, Uncle Spence." Pause. Recovery. "Wanna wrestle?" _ The bliss of being four..._Reid was grateful for it.

And thus JJ's two loves spent their final bachelor evening rolling around on the floor and giggling.


	16. Chapter 16

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 16**

Henry was too excited to go to school the next morning, and he begged to be able to be there to see JJ walk into the house. Reid relented and arranged for Karen to watch Henry at the house until he and JJ made it home.

"Yay! Mommy's coming home today! Can we have a party, Uncle Spence? Cake and ice cream?"

Reid recognized his little opportunist, but he gave in anyway. "I don't think we have time to make a cake, Henry, but there's ice cream in the freezer. We'll have an ice cream party."

"Yay!"

* * *

_Maybe I _should_ have been shuffling for my second lap around the hospital floor yesterday_. JJ was apparently paying a price for her exuberance. She was ready for discharge, but having more constant pain than she'd had before. Her nurse attributed it to her 'overdoing' the day before, and encouraged her to have a quiet first day at home. Reid was determined that she comply. He didn't want JJ doing anything that might separate them for even a minute longer.

Gingerly, JJ folded herself into the seat of the car after Reid helped her from the wheelchair. He insisted on latching her seat belt for her.

"Really, Spence, I'm not an invalid. I won't break." There was an edge to her voice. Reid couldn't tell if he'd been genuinely annoying or if he was seeing a bit of the emotional lability they'd been warned about.

On the way home, Reid reached for JJ's hand, and she let him take it…..and then pulled away. He was disturbed enough to turn and look at her.

"JJ?"

She returned the look briefly and then turned her eyes back to the road. "I'm just nervous about being home, I guess. I don't know why. It doesn't really make any sense."

"Maybe you felt more comfortable having the nurses and doctors nearby? But JJ, they wouldn't have let you go if they didn't think you were ready. Please don't worry."

She flashed him a small smile and reached out for his hand again. "Whatever you say, Doctor Reid." He could see that the smile didn't reach all the way to her eyes.

* * *

"Mmmmoooommmmyyyyy!" Despite Reid's attempts at forewarning, Henry was making a run at his mother. Reid grabbed him before he could tackle JJ.

"Whoa, little man, remember, we're going to be_ gentle_."

JJ was grateful for the protection. She was having considerable discomfort from moving around. But she bent to Henry anyway, and kissed him on the head as he hugged her legs. "My beautiful little boy! I've missed you so much!"

Henry was holding her as tightly as his arms would allow. "Mommy! I missed you too!"

Confident that JJ wouldn't be injured, Reid stood back and enjoyed the mother and son reunion.

"Look at the sign, Mommy! I made it for you. Uncle Spence helped me."

"It's wonderful, Henry. I noticed it the minute I walked in the door."

Henry was beaming. "And I cleaned up my room, Mommy. Uncle Spence helped me with that, too."

JJ threw Reid a look of appreciation. She realized he'd done all he could to make her homecoming special.

"It's all great, Henry. But Mommy needs to sit down now." Reid stepped forward to help her sit, then turned to his godson.

"Remember, Henry, we're going to be gentle with Mommy. No jumping on her."

Henry was true to his word this time. He climbed gently onto the sofa next to JJ. "Let's move you to the other side, buddy." And Reid lifted him from her right to her left side, so he could cuddle without being near her incision. Mother and son curled into each other, more than content for this semblance of normalcy. Reid took it in, happy for the woman and child he loved. He went to the kitchen to make lunch.

Afterwards, Henry resisted his nap, but eventually gave in to his exhaustion. JJ needed a nap as well, so Reid helped her to her bed. "Sleep as long as you need. I'll try to keep him quiet."

JJ dozed for a little bit, but then found herself stirring restlessly. With difficulty, she managed to sit up and reach into her nightstand for her journal. She had so much to process, and she knew the journal would help her do it. She'd wanted it in the hospital, but hadn't wanted to ask Reid to bring it. Despite his mother's journal being the inspiration for her own, JJ hadn't shared with him that she was keeping it. For reasons she couldn't identify, she wasn't ready for that yet.

Her last entry had been about Henry's nightmares. _What kind of mother am I? I haven't even asked about them!_

She picked up her pen. "Well, I've lost a week. Or almost. Henry and I were in a car accident last Friday. He wasn't hurt, thank God, but apparently I was hurt pretty badly. I needed eight units of blood and emergency surgery for a tear in my liver. Spence says they weren't willing to commit on my survival for days. Poor Spence! I think it was almost harder on him than it was on me. At least I wasn't aware of what was happening. He's kept it light the past few days, so we haven't really talked about it yet. But I do know my Spencer Reid, and I'm sure he was terrified. And having to handle Henry on top of it! I don't know how he did it, but if I needed confirmation that I've got the right guy...and, officially, I didn't...I'd have it.

I'm frightened by some things. They've told me I might have some memory loss and I might not be able to control my emotions. I don't think they realized they were telling that to Jennifer Jareau, master controller. It's probably one of the worst consequences the fates could have come up with. I will just pray that it doesn't happen. But maybe it's too late for that. I almost lost it with Spence on the way home, over nothing. I don't know that he realized it, but I was not in control at that moment. Please, God, don't let me hurt him with this. And please, please, please don't let me hurt Henry. They say it will end in a few months. Please just let us all hold it together until then."

She closed her book and put it away. Reid looked in on her shortly afterward. "How about an early supper and then a nice long sleep?"

JJ was back in 'mother mode'. "Make it a party, and Henry will be thrilled. Let's have a little picnic supper in the living room."

"You've got it." And Reid left to prepare some sandwiches and fruit …..and ice cream…for all three. Henry cajoled them into watching a kid movie together...and then he and JJ both fell asleep on Reid. He lifted his godson gently away from his mother and brought him to his bed. "I guess we can brush your teeth in the morning."

Reid went back out to JJ, who roused despite his effort to be unobtrusive. "Hey," she said, sleepily.

"Hey yourself. Do you want me to help you to bed?"

"Can I stay up for a little bit? I want to feel like a grownup."

Reid chuckled. "I guess we need _one _of those in the house, don't we."

JJ smiled. "He seems okay, doesn't he? Being apart didn't seem to hurt him. I was worried about that."

Reid's heart sank. _This is it, I guess._ It was going to have to be now. He couldn't deceive her, even by omission. He was going to have to tell JJ about the separation.

Reid sat down next to her and put his arm around her. He felt awkward doing so, because he was sure she was going to be upset with him.

"JJ, there's something we need to talk about."

She looked up at him. _Now what? With all that's gone on in our lives this past week, how could there be something more?_

JJ noticed that Reid was having trouble finding words. If anything, she'd say the look on his face was one of guilt. "Spence, what is it?"

He dove in, and told her. He ended the story with, "JJ, I'm so sorry. I couldn't stop them. I had to let them take Henry." And then, suddenly, he didn't seem to be talking to her any longer, but to himself. "I let them take Henry." His voice was broken, as it had been that awful night. "How could I have let it happen?"

JJ just stared at him. This was something completely out there, completely unexpected. She couldn't find a way to take it in. And then, slowly, it penetrated. Henry, left in the putative care of Reid, had been given over to the care of a stranger, at the same time that the child had been in a traumatic car accident, and seen his mother on the verge of death.

Reid actually put his hand to his chest when JJ looked at him with the dead-eyed stare that she usually reserved for unsubs. "How could you?"

He said nothing. She was just verbalizing what he'd been thinking all along. "How could you let my son be given to a stranger?"

Reid looked briefly away, but then met JJ's eyes again. He owed her this, at least.

"He needed me. He needed you. And you let him go." The voice that had been cold before was now being infiltrated by barely stifled sobs.

"I'm sorry, JJ. There was nothing I could do. I'm so sorry."

He could tell she was fighting for control, and losing the battle. "What happened to him?"

Reid swallowed. "He was placed with a woman who had another little boy in her care as well. He told me he was excited that they had a puppy. " Reid considered withholding the rest, but was committed to being honest with JJ. "He also had a nightmare. And she just told him to go back to sleep."

Now JJ was crying. Reid tried to draw her close, but she shrugged him off. "Don't touch me."

He let go of her and sat there with his eyes closed. He'd tried to prepare himself for this, but the reality was more painful than he'd imagined.

"JJ, if it's any consolation, he seems okay. He's happy, and he's playing. You saw him. He's Henry." He studied her reaction, hoping she could focus on the positive, even as he couldn't.

Nor could she. "It's not okay. He's my son. When he needed me, and I couldn't be there, I hoped his godfather would be. And instead you let him be given to a stranger."

Reid broke eye contact. He was defeated, not just by JJ's accusations, but by his own guilt. After a few moments, he asked, "Do you want me to go?"

He could see her trying to confront her dilemma. She knew she wasn't in any condition to care for Henry on her own. He added, "I can call Garcia. She'll come and stay with you."

When JJ didn't answer, Reid did just that.

* * *

Garcia arrived to see two of her best friends in emotional turmoil. Reid met her at the door with a choked, "Take care of her," and left.

She approached the living room. "Jayje? Are you okay?" Garcia sat with her for a long time while she cried herself out. Finally, JJ spoke.

"Did you know?" There was a tone of accusation in the question.

Garcia bit her lip. "I was there, JJ. We were _all_ there. There was nothing he could have done. They threatened to arrest him if he didn't let Henry go. Hotch was holding him back when they took Henry away. Honey, he was devastated. You know how much he loves Henry."

"Pen, oh Pen." She was sobbing again. "How could this have happened? To Henry!"

Garcia moved closer to her friend and held her. "Honey, Henry's all right. Rossi started pulling strings from the moment they took him, and we got him back the next day. I went with Rossi to get him, but when we got to the hospital, Henry wanted no one but Reid. They love each other, JJ. Nothing has changed that." She studied her friend. "And you love them both."

JJ was trying to control her sobs, but having trouble. She was briefly able to be dispassionate enough to wonder if this was the emotional instability she'd been warned to expect. Logically, she knew that both Garcia and Reid were right. Emotionally, she couldn't get beyond Henry being removed from all that he knew and loved when he'd needed them the most.

Gradually, she quieted, with Garcia silently rubbing her back. When she thought JJ had collected herself enough, Garcia spoke. "JJ, let me tell him to come back."

JJ wouldn't make eye contact. She didn't know what she wanted. Garcia pushed her. "Honey, you know you love him. He's broken right now. Let me call him back."

JJ took a very deep breath. She raised her eyes to Garcia and slowly nodded. Penelope didn't waste any time. She got on the phone. "Reid? Come," was all she said.

He couldn't have been that far away. Within ten minutes, Reid was at the door. Garcia let him in with a hug, saying, "Hang in there, gentle genius. It will be okay." And she was gone.

Reid approached JJ slowly. She was still on the sofa, and hadn't turned to look at him. He kept walking until he was standing in front of her.

Slowly, almost reluctantly, she looked up at him. She saw only a look of uncertainty on his face. JJ bit her lip repeatedly, not certain how to start. Finally, she did.

"I know it wasn't your fault. I know you love him." And then she was crying again, which broke Reid's stance. He joined her on the sofa and held her close.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry. I know you love him. I'm sorry." She wrestled enough control to look up at him. "I know it was hard for you, too. I'm so sorry, Spence."

He held her tight against him. "I love you, JJ. And I love Henry. And I'm so very, very sorry."

They sat together in silence after that, and eventually JJ fell asleep on Reid's chest. He'd never carried her before, but found it wasn't all that hard to do. He brought her to the bed and laid her gently on it. And then, because he still hadn't been able to forgive himself, he kept himself apart from her, and retired to the sofa in what he knew would be a vain attempt at sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 17**

Reid was running, running…..but 'It' was running faster. He couldn't take the time to turn around and see 'Its' face. He had to get to them. They were in danger. He had to save them. And then he suddenly felt himself falling, falling, and landing beneath a tree, its branches brushing softly against his face.

He climbed through the depths of sleep to arousal. He realized he was being touched. A hand was running through his hair. His brain wouldn't focus enough for him to make sense of the transition from sleep to waking before he opened his eyes.

JJ was sitting beside his form on the sofa, a finger to her lips to keep him quiet. "Shh. Henry's not up yet."

Reid was still groggy, but the events of the night before were slowly coming back to him. He didn't know what to make of her presence. "JJ?"

"I woke up and you weren't there. I was worried."

Reid just looked at her, trying to gauge where they were with each other right now. "I didn't think it was right for me to be with you last night."

Her eyes shone wetly. "Because of how I was?"

"No. Because of how _I_ was. Because I didn't keep it from happening. I should have found a way."

"Spence, I couldn't get my head and my heart together last night. But I'm better today. I know that, if there had been a way, you would have found it."

She was still running her fingers through his hair, brushing it back from his face. He lay immobile on the sofa, basking in her touch.

She continued. "I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you, Spence. Garcia told me what it was like that day."

He broke his eyes away, momentarily overcome with the memory. His voice was hoarse when he found it. "It was harder for Henry."

JJ closed her eyes at that, filling up. "He really seems okay?"

Reid was remembering his conversation with Henry the other night, but didn't want to stir things up again. "I don't know that he can understand what happened that night, but I think he knows he's got us forever."

"Then, Spence, you need to let go of it. All three of us do. It's part of the past. The important thing is that we all have each other, and we love each other."

Reid smiled. His wise JJ was back with him.

JJ bent to kiss him and ended up wincing. That brought Reid fully alert.

"JJ, you're the one who should be lying down," he said, as he shifted to get up. She caught him half way and kissed him sweetly on the lips. And then again, and again, the passion building. He forgot he was in the process of trying to tend to her, and found himself caught up in the exchange.

When they broke apart, JJ was smiling. "Oh, I've missed that. It's better than any pain medication they could come up with for me."

"Well, then, I'll see to it that you get regular doses, madam."

Reid sat all the way up and gently settled JJ into position against him. They knew Henry would be up any minute, but they both savored this moment that was like so many others they'd shared before. It felt like JJ was truly home. It felt almost normal.

Their first full day at home went smoothly, although the patient needed to remind her caretaker not to pamper her.

"Just load me up with 'medicine' and then take me for a shuffle around the yard, please."

The look on Reid's face told JJ he was more than willing to oblige. "And then shall I give you more 'medicine' after our excursion?"

With the proper motivation in place, JJ made six circuits that first day. She was exhausted by dinner, so Reid prescribed some mother/son story and cuddling time, and then early to bed. Henry was delighted to have his mother home, but confused at the giggles she and Uncle Spence shared every time they mentioned medicine. He'd had medicine before and couldn't understand why anyone would find it funny.

* * *

The following morning was the first test of their new work arrangement. The BAU had a case. Reid would go in for the case presentation, and then work either from the BAU or from home, the latter only when Henry was not present. Neither JJ nor Reid was willing to risk exposing the boy to the nature of their work.

"Are you sure you'll be okay? Do you need me to do anything before I go?"

"Spence, I'll be fine. I'm a little worn out from all the walking yesterday, so I think I might take it a little easier today."

He eyed her with suspicion. He knew his Jennifer Jareau very well. She had a stubborn streak a mile wide. And he knew she wanted to accelerate her recovery. And he knew that she knew _him_ very well. She would know that he'd be concerned about her overdoing, so she'd let him _think_ she would relax...… when he knew very well she wouldn't.

Suddenly he realized she was looking at him the same way he was looking at her. Then they both burst into laughter.

"I thought it would be many years down the road before we could have a full conversation like that without words, Spence. Really, I will only make some laps around the house, with my cell phone in my pocket, just in case. I'll wait until you're home to take on the backyard. Will that work?"

He gave in reluctantly. "Well, let me load you up with some painkiller, just in case." The 'treatment' took a little longer than he'd anticipated, and Reid found himself running late to the BAU.

* * *

Reid got to the round table room just as Garcia began her presentation.

"They're already calling him "The Silo Slayer", Lady and Gentlemen." Garcia's address to the team was a reminder of JJ's absence. The Karden soybean farm is just west of Columbus, Ohio. Yesterday, they experienced the tragic death of a 21 year old employee, Benjamin Wallace, who was witnessed falling into a soybean silo."

The team knew something else had to be coming. The BAU was not called into accidental death investigations.

"Emergency services were called immediately and put their grain silo rescue methods to work. Yes, boys and girl, there is such an entity as a 'grain silo rescue method'. They were able to extract the body within twenty minutes of their arrival, and immediately attempted to revive him. But then Farmer Karden arrived…..to tell them they had the wrong man." She waited for her words to have an effect.

Emily was on it immediately. "Wait, they saw this guy fall into the silo, pulled him out and then found out it was a different guy?"

"Not only was it a different guy, but it turns out there were _three _'different guys' in the silo."

Reid wanted to clarify. "Are you saying these were bodies of men who had died at different times?"

Morgan thought that unlikely. "If they'd died at different times, wouldn't they have been in states of decomposition? Wouldn't the rescue team have noticed that?"

Garcia had the explanation. "Apparently each body was so covered in grain dust that they couldn't make out the states of decay right away. The ME thinks the other bodies have been there between five days and six weeks."

"Cause of death?" Rossi was already gathering his things together.

"Suffocation. For all of them, obviously including our accidental death."

Reid offered a piece of information. "Did you know that grain silo deaths were at an all time high in 2011? Most deaths were attributable to operator error."

Every member of the team sitting around the table exuded sympathy toward JJ, who would be the sole recipient of Reid's 'random facts library' for the foreseeable future.

"Wheels up in thirty," said Hotch. "Reid, where will you be?"

"I'd like to be with JJ, if it's all right with you. Henry won't be home until this afternoon. If I need to, I can come back in then."

"Done." He had his the approval of his boss.

* * *

At home, JJ had made three laps around the house. She was serious about being in more pain today, but also determined to recover as quickly as she could. And despite her words to Reid in the morning, she was driven to work off her emotional upheaval as well.

When the pain became impossible to ignore, she rested. She'd snagged her journal before she sat down. She still had much to work through.

"I don't even know how to begin this entry. I don't know how to feel. I'm finding it hard to think. I almost feel torn apart with all of the emotions pulling me in different directions. And I'm aware enough to know that I don't have control.

Diana Reid, I have never admired and appreciated you more than I do this minute. What I have been struggling with for a mere 24 hours, you fought for your entire adult life. And produced the man I love in the process. How?

What I feared the most is happening. Now I just need to pray that it doesn't tear us apart as a couple…as a family, really.

Henry was traumatized. Spence kept something from me. I blamed him for something over which he had no control. Those are the facts. The feelings….the feelings are in total chaos. I'm angry when I know I don't have a reason to be. Sad despite being able to see that Henry is okay. Suspicious that there's more Spence is keeping from me, even though I understand why he couldn't tell me about this before.

But I haven't told you the facts, have I? When I was injured, and the police didn't know at first how to reach anyone, they called in CFSA. God bless my little one, Henry was able to help them call Spence. But CFSA wouldn't let Spence take Henry. They needed to work through "official protocol" that I guess was written the last time they lost a child in their care. They forced Spence to give Henry to them.

Oh, God, even as I write this, my heart is breaking for both of them. But last night it broke only for Henry. I was actually angry with Spence for letting them take him. Truth be told, I've seen him accomplish so many incredible things that part of me thinks he can do anything. So why, I thought, couldn't he save my son?

I noticed what I just wrote. "_My_ son." I know that's the fact, but I don't think that's the feeling. I know Spence looks upon Henry as a son. He's not said it…..I suspect he doesn't feel he has the right….but it's evident in everything he does. And I suspect Henry feels the same way , despite his relationship with Will.

But I'm back to 'my son'. Maybe it's that I feel the weight of responsibility for him. I think Spence would gladly carry it with me, but asking him to do so is more of a 'next step' in our relationship. And there's been so much upheaval in our lives, I think we need to take the next steps slowly, and purposefully.

The most disturbing thing to me, by far, is my lack of control. I was warned it might happen, and I'd dreaded it….but the reality of it is so much more difficult than I'd imagined. I don't even recognize this 'emotional me', and I certainly don't feel comfortable in my own skin. And poor Spence! This isn't the person he fell in love with. I can only pray that he'll be able to hang in there until things get better. And that he'll run interference for Henry."

She heard the front door open and realized Reid was home. "I'm in here," she called from the bedroom.

He looked like he was in a hurry to get set up. 'Case mode' was what they usually called it when the team members became so focused.

He went to the bedroom and gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Do you need anything before I get started?"

"Nope, I'm all set. Do you want to tell me what the case is about?"

He hesitated. "Should I? If you'd had a concussion, they would have put you on 'cognitive rest'. No reading, no electronics, maybe no thinking. Should we do the same thing if your trauma is shock?"

JJ reflected silently. _Well, I'm already having trouble with the thinking._

But she couldn't totally inactivate her brain. "Maybe I can help. Please, Spence, let me try."

He could never resist a cajoling JJ. So he filled her in on the case so far.

"So, four deaths, one definitely accidental, but three presumed murders?"

"So it seems. Did you know that there were a record number of grain silo deaths in 2011? Not all from soybeans, of course. Did you know that the United States is the number one consumer of soybean products in the world?"

JJ loved Spence with all her heart. But cases seemed to bring out the geek in him. And the rest of the team wasn't there to dilute the effect. If he was going to bombard her with 'interesting' facts throughout his stint working at home, she might have to do him in.

"Spence, do you think we could stick to the facts of the case?"

"What? Oh, sure, JJ. Actually, I think we need to connect in on the computer. Garcia should be getting ready for the in flight conference with the team."

They needed to follow some encryption instructions, but otherwise it was just like any other internet video conversation.

"JJ! It's so good to see you!" Emily enthused. "You look great!"

"Is Hotch there?" He responded, so JJ continued. "Is it all right if I listen in? I'd like to be able to help as much as I can."

"You're always welcome, JJ, but I'll have to trust you not to overdo." Reid was silently blessing Hotch for that. "No one knows better than I do how much energy it takes to heal."

Rossi followed up immediately with, "Collective thinking is what the BAU is built on. We'll take all the brain power we can get."

Morgan still hadn't greeted her. "Hey, JJ, you're looking beautiful as always. Are you surviving Reid full time?"

Garcia had joined the conversation in time to hear Morgan's remarks. "Hey! I thought _I_ was your 'beautiful girl'!"

Morgan flashed her a flirty smile. "You _are_ my girl, Baby Doll, and you _are_ beautiful. JJ is also beautiful, but…"

Reid overrode him. "But she's somebody else's girl, right Morgan?" He'd emphasized the last two words meaningfully.

Emily and JJ exchanged a raised brow look via the computer screen, and shook their heads. Emily verbalized it for them. "Just what we need, another alpha male."

The alpha males on both ends of the connection felt sheepish enough to get down to business.

Hotch prompted Garcia. "Have you come up with anything more for us?"

"They've been able to ID the two they think are the most recent victims. They are thirty eight year old John Ford, and thirty one year old William Kent. Both were single and, as far as can be told, childless. It looks like Mr. Ford worked for an automobile dealership and Mr. Kent as a bartender at the imaginatively named Bowl and Brew….which is not a soup and beer place, in case you were wondering."

"So neither of them had anything to do with farming?" Morgan started the round.

"Nada, my liege."

Reid chimed in. "Garcia, how about geographical proximity? Can we look at their places of residence and work?"

"On their way to your tablets, all."

Reid got busy. He'd borrowed a case board and markers from the BAU.

Rossi summarized their status at this early point in the case. "So, we've got four dead bodies, one the result of a witnessed accident, at least two victims with no obvious connection to the crime scene, and a whole host of unknowns."

Hotch tried to focus them. "So let's run down our list of unknowns. First, the final victim remains unidentified."

Emily took it up. "We can't be sure the witnessed accident was actually that. Maybe the unsub was just caught in the act with his latest victim. Garcia, will we have access to the 'witness' when we arrive?"

"You will. It was the owner of the farm. His wife called 911 when she heard him yelling."

Morgan resumed the unknowns listing. "We don't know how the victims got to the farm, since they didn't have any obvious connections with it. Were they killed elsewhere and brought there? Were they killed on site? Or is this just a dump site?"

"Guys, I don't know if we should assume this is a dump site." Reid was speaking. "Given the circumstances, this might also be thought of as a grave. We need to look at the site, see if there's anything that might be considered a marker."

Rossi was curious. "Since all of the victims were suffocated, how do we know that they weren't all just dumped into the silo, to suffocate inside?"

"I can answer that," came through the computer. They were all surprised to be hearing JJ's voice, instead of Reid's. "I grew up in rural Pennsylvania. We had more than our share of grain silos. If they suffocated inside the silo, their lungs will be full of grain dust. If they aren't, then the victims were dead before they were put into the silo."

Hotch gave the order. "Garcia, check with the medical examiner, please. We've got our work cut out for us, people."

The others couldn't see JJ's smile of satisfaction at having been able to contribute, nor Reid's gratitude to see it back on her face.

* * *

There was a lull in the action for Reid and JJ as the team established itself in Ohio. Reid noticed JJ's fatigue from the short burst of activity, and encouraged her to lay down for a while.

"Hotch is right, you have to respect how much energy your body needs to heal."

"Ooh, pot, meet kettle. Aren't you the guy who wouldn't take time off after having anthrax? The same guy who lied to Hotch about being cleared to fly after you were shot in the knee?"

Busted. "Well, that was different."

"How?"

"Now I know better." When JJ didn't look convinced, he added, "and this time it's you."

She'd just been teasing him. She knew she needed to rest, and wanted to be her best for Henry when he got home. She let Reid escort her to her bed, and sent him on his way.

_I'm not that sleepy right now, maybe I'll just read for a while_. She picked up a book, but found it difficult to concentrate. Putting it down, she pulled out her journal. _If I can't concentrate on my own life, I'm in trouble. _ She paged back to the beginning, after she and Reid had returned from Las Vegas, after he'd lost Diana.

* * *

Reid busied himself plotting the locations of the farm, the victim's homes and their workplaces. He was about to contact Garcia to get her busy finding other connections, like social groups, churches, fitness centers. Might Ford have visited Kent's bowling alley/bar? Might Kent have bought a car from Ford's dealership?

Reid forgot about the computer connection and used his cell to make the call. Garcia had taken initiative and was already exploring connections, but so far had nothing. "Thanks, Garcia. I'll talk to you soon."

"Wait! How's JJ?"

"She was looking pretty tired to me, so I sent her to bed. But I think work is good for her. She looked pretty energized by it….until she crashed."

"I don't want to wear my girl out, but I'm glad to have her with us." Then, "Reid, how are you? It was pretty rough on both of you the other night."

Reid was, for the umpteenth time, grateful to count Garcia among his friends. "We're doing okay, both of us. Thanks for being there, Garcia. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"You know I love you both, my gentle genius. JJ told me about how they said she might have emotional outbursts. Do you think that's what it was?"

Reid was silent for a moment. "I think anyone would or could have reacted the way she did, Garcia. It was its own kind of tragedy. But knowing JJ….yes, I think it was partly caused by the aftermath of shock. And I think she realizes that as well."

Garcia knew her favorite genius well. "And what's your excuse?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"When are you going to let go of it, Reid? It wasn't your fault. Our godson was caught in a situation that went out of control. When are you going to forgive yourself?"

Reid acknowledged how well his techno-friend knew him. "Thanks, Garcia."

* * *

They were due to connect again at three. Twenty minutes before that, Reid heard noise coming from JJ's bedroom and went to check on her. When he opened the door, he had a brief moment of panic. JJ was sitting up in the bed, crying, hard.

He ran to her, put his hands on her shoulders. "JJ! What is it? What happened? Are you okay? Are you in pain?"

She sobbed, "I can't remember."

He was confused. "You can't remember if you have pain?"

"I can't remember it." She pointed to a book that lay open on the bed. It looked like a journal to Reid.

"You can't remember…." He picked up the book. It was, indeed, a journal.

"JJ, you're keeping a journal?"

Not being able to speak, she just nodded.

"What is it that you can't remember?"

"That!" She was pointing at a page of the journal.

Reid looked. After he'd read a few paragraphs, he realized what it was. The night he told her he loved her. The night they shared their first kiss. And suddenly he knew what was going on. _The memory loss and the emotional lability rolled into one._ Once he realized which memory JJ had lost, Reid had a moment of mourning himself. This shared memory was one that had been most precious to him. And it was no longer shared.

"JJ…..JJ, it's all right. They said it would probably come back. You'll remember it again."

She was not to be placated. "They said 'probably'! That doesn't mean I'll get it back. What if I never remember? What if I can never remember the first time we kissed? The first time you told me you loved me? Spence!"

And she dissolved into his arms. He was at a loss. She might be right. It might never return. But it was their new reality. He focused on the word 'new'.

He held on to her shoulders, but brought her away from him so they could see each other.

"JJ, sweetheart, I think you'll get it back. But while we're waiting, the good news is that_ I_ remember it. I remember every part of it. I can give it back to you."

Before she could object, he'd taken her hands in his and said, ""You are that 'right girl' for me, Jennifer Jareau. I love you, and I want to make a life with you. Will you take a chance on me?"

She smiled in spite of herself. And she responded in kind when he took her face in his hands and laid the sweetest, most gentle kiss on her lips.

"We're getting through this, Jennifer Jareau. And on the other end, you can add this to your memories. It will be a new one. Add it to the old one, and we'll have a story to tell our grandchildren. It will be one of a thousand memories we'll share together."

Reid settled himself behind her and pulled her to lean against his chest, his arms clasped around her. JJ leaned back in a combination of exhaustion and relief. For what seemed a very long time, they sat together in silence, each ostensibly lost in their own thoughts, but each secretly picturing that old couple sharing the riches of a life spent together. A small smile slowly crept onto each of their faces.


	18. Chapter 18

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 18**

Reid left JJ to rest while he went back to join the case discussion that was now happening on line. Hotch had sent Morgan and Prentiss to the farm, while he and Rossi planned to set up with the sheriff's office and interview the families of the known dead.

Morgan was sounding in from the farm. "It's a farm. That's pretty much it. With a big silo on it."

"And a lot of soybeans coming out the bottom of the silo," contributed Emily. "There's a grain elevator that brings grain up to load it. Usually the grain is blown into the silo, it's not tipped in. So if the unsub used the elevator to get the bodies up, he would have had to climb up there himself and to dump the bodies manually. There are steps that can be climbed to get to the top."

"How often is grain added to the silo?" Reid was wondering if there was a way to determine if the bodies had simply been buried by new deliveries of grain, or had been purposefully buried in the grain.

Morgan had discussed this with the farmer. "Grain is stored as it's harvested, and that can occur over a period of six to eight weeks with a staggered crop."

"That coincides with the timeline of the estimated dates of death, but it doesn't move us forward in the investigation. Nor did our plan to interview the families, " Rossi added. "Neither of our murder victims had any family in the area, and the police are having trouble contacting the designated next of kin."

"Did we hear from the ME yet?" Reid wanted to confirm the causes of death of the victims.

"Just in." Garcia had joined them. "The accident victim seems to be just that. His lungs were full of grain dust. But none of the other three had any evidence of grain exposure at all. All of them had petechiae around the eyes, indicating a large degree of pressure within the chest just before they died."

"So they were likely suffocated elsewhere and transported to the silo." Emily was working the situation. "Reid, is JJ there? I'm wondering if she can verify some of the things the owner told us about how the farm works."

They all noticed his hesitation, and Garcia made a mental note to call him later.

"She's sleeping right now, Emily. She was pretty tired after the last session."

Hotch wasn't the only one who picked up on something in Reid's voice. He acted as the spokesperson for the team.

"Reid, is everything all right?"

"It's fine. She's fine." He'd answered too quickly. Emily pressed him, concerned. "Reid?"

He gave in. They were profilers, after all. "She's had some memory loss." He wasn't sure they all knew the circumstances, and he didn't want to compromise JJ's function with the team, so he hurried to add, "The neurologist told us it might happen. He said there may be very isolated memories lost, and that she'd probably get them back. But she's a little unnerved about it."

"Who wouldn't be?" observed Rossi. "You tell young JJ not to worry, the most important thing to concentrate on is her recovery."

Hotch displayed the insight of the unit chief. He knew JJ would need more than that. "Reid, tell her we still need all the information she has to offer. We'll hear from her when she's rested enough to talk with us."

"Thanks, Hotch." Reid knew, as did Hotch, that what would get JJ back to herself most quickly was that sense of being needed.

Emily addressed her colleague. "Reid, how are you doing? This has got to be hard on you, too."

He appreciated her concern, but wasn't about to discuss this with the whole team at once. "Shouldn't we get back to the case?"

Hotch followed his lead. He knew Reid disliked being the focus of that kind of attention….and they did have a case to address.

"All right. Rossi and I will stay on victimology. We need to shake something loose there. Garcia, get all the location data to Reid so he can work up a geographic profile." Next, he addressed his two agents in the field. "Morgan, Prentiss, get us something from the crime scene…..employees, contractors, repairmen….anything you can. We need a point of entry to this, so we can get some leverage."

They agreed to check in together in two hours. Garcia stayed on the line with Reid, to give him the information he needed for the geographic profile. She took advantage of the moment.

"Reid, is she really okay?"

"It's hard on her, Garcia, but she'll be okay. She's pretty tough, even if it doesn't seem so right now. At least we know this will end at some point. There are plenty of people who have to deal with permanent, far more debilitating problems."

Garcia admired the attitude but was still concerned for her friends. "Reid, I know this is hard on you, too. If you ever need me to come over…or even just to listen, you know I'm here."

She saw his smile of gratitude through the video link. "Thanks, Garcia. Now I'd better get busy working on the map before Henry gets home."

* * *

An hour later, Reid was engrossed in his work when he heard soft footsteps behind him. He felt JJ's arms wrap around his waist and her face nestled against his back.

"Hi."

"Hi. Did you sleep?"

"For a little while. Mostly I was thinking."

"About?"

"Us. Me. How lucky I am to have you in my life. How I hope I don't scare you away with this shrew I've become."

He put down his marker and loosened her hands so that he could turn and face her.

"First of all, do not call the woman I love a shrew." She smiled. "Secondly, I'm the lucky one in this relationship. Are you kidding me? This beautiful, intelligent, talented woman, who could have any guy in the world…..loves _me_? Most of the time I still can't believe it."

"Most of the time?"

"Well, when we're making love, when we're with each other….it's kind of hard to ignore."

"Speaking of….." She moved closer to him and put her hands around his waist again, pulling him to her.

"JJ, you don't know how much I want it. Really, you have no idea. But the doctor said six weeks, so your surgery could heal."

She looked at him with mischievous, longing, eyes. "Maybe I forgot?"

"Ha! Ms. 'Selective Memory', meet Mr. 'Eidetic Memory'. I'm not taking any chances with you, JJ." He was relieved that she was managing to find some humor in their situation, but wasn't finding this particular subject matter all that amusing.

She thought it wise to change the subject. "Are you making any progress?"

"Well, I've got the locations of their homes, current and past places of employment and the farm marked. Nothing there so far. Neither of them seemed to have a lot in their lives besides work, so there's not much else to plot."

"And we haven't identified the third victim yet, right?"

Reid held back the smile that wanted to spread as he saw JJ becoming engaged by the case. "Right."

"Spence, should we at least look at the latest victim? You know the one presumed to be accidental."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "What are you thinking? That it wasn't really accidental?"

"Not exactly. But since nothing else seems to be panning out, shouldn't we make sure we're looking at everything?"

Reid nodded as he got Garcia on the phone and requested the geographic information about Benjamin Wallace. Turning again to JJ, he pointed out, "Karen will be bringing Henry home soon. Should I move to the BAU?"

"You've got all your maps on the board here, it would be pretty hard to relocate now. Why don't we move the board into the bedroom and you can work from there while I keep Henry busy."

"Are you up to it, JJ?"

"Better by the minute. But I think I should make another circuit around the yard. Can I have my medicine, please?"

Reid smiled as he took her in his arms to give her a dose.

* * *

With Henry and JJ engaged in a major interlocking-block construction project, Reid connected back with the team in Ohio, and Garcia in Quantico.

Despite Reid's geographic profiling and, finally, some preliminary family interviews by Rossi and Hotch, their first break in the case didn't come from the victimology. Morgan and Prentiss had returned from their visit to the farm with a different picture of the accident that had precipitated everything. And they had news of a possible fifth victim.

Morgan began the story. "We spoke with the Kardens, the owners of the farm. Ben Wallace was a former intern on their farm. He'd graduated with a degree in agricultural science and was starting his doctorate in the same. He was specifically studying various methods of grain storage."

Emily explained, "The Kardens both seemed really broken up about the loss of Ben. They're an older couple, looking at retirement in a few years. They'd grown to look upon him as a son, they said. And he was helping them to modernize the farm."

Rossi was curious. "How are they handling the discovery of the other bodies?"

Emily responded. "They're in shock about it. But even that seems to pale compared with how they feel about the accidental death of Ben. Mr. Karden witnessed it."

Hotch wanted clarification. "You make it sound like he wasn't actually involved with it. I thought he and Ben were together at the silo."

Morgan was nodding. "So did we. That's what was miscommunicated to us. Ben was at the top of the silo, but Mr. Karden was on the ground. He started yelling for help when he saw Ben fall, and his wife called 911. She'd mistakenly assumed her husband was next to Ben when he fell. She can't see the silo from inside the house."

Reid was curious. "Did he just fall? Did he slip? Could he have had a seizure, or passed out?"

Emily answered. "Well, it turns out he wasn't alone at the top of the silo." She had everyone's full attention. "He was there with another man, a Nicholas Wilhelm, who is a representative of the Parker Farm Equipment and Supply Company."

Rossi assumed they'd interviewed him. "And what does Mr. Wilhelm have to say?"

Prentiss and Morgan exchanged a look. Emily spoke. "No one knows where he is."

Hotch said only, "Garcia?"

"On it. Back in a jiffy." They knew Garcia would be getting background on Nicholas Wilhelm.

While she was busy, Morgan responded to the questioning looks coming from the others. "Karden said the silo in question was aging and needed to be replaced. Wilhelm was there to meet with him and Ben about whether they would rebuild the same style of construction or change to a different type. He was coming in from the field when he saw the two of them on the platform at the top of the silo. It looked like they were having a conversation. Karden looked away for a moment and, when he looked back, Ben was already falling through the air."

"And Wilhelm?" The look on Rossi's face said he wasn't sure which way to go about this. Was it an accident? Or a push?

Morgan continued. "Karden started to climb the silo, but he's not as spry as he once was. The emergency response team arrived before he reached the top, went up past him and told him to go back down. He never saw Wilhelm after that. Karden doesn't know if Wilhelm left during the confusion of the attempted rescue, or even if he fell into the silo trying to save Ben. Neither do the emergency responders. The silo is being emptied to make sure all the bodies have been recovered."

There was general silence while they all processed the information. Reid became their voice. "So it's unclear whether we have two accident victims and three murder victims, or four murder victims and a murderer on the loose."

Rossi contributed his usual sarcasm. "I love it when a case comes together like this."

"We'll need to get Garcia on background for Ben Wallace as well." Morgan was anticipating her return to the discussion.

"She's already done it, and I've got it plotted." Reid announced. He added, with some pleasure, "It was JJ's idea."

"My girl!" Morgan was approving.

"No, as we discussed previously, _my _girl," corrected an irritated Reid, providing some comic relief to a frustrating situation.

Hotch came through next. "Reid, if JJ's available, I'd like to pick her brain about the workings of the farm."

"She's with Henry, but I can exchange places with her. Hold on a minute."

Reid exited to the living room where Henry and JJ had built a rudimentary castle. "Hotch needs to talk with you."

Her curiosity was evident on her face. "Okay, will you help Henry with the turrets?"

"Gladly. Henry, little man, we need to grow this castle!"

* * *

"Hotch?"

"JJ, are you feeling up to helping us out a little bit?"

They could all see her smile. "Of course, what can I do?"

"I know you didn't grow up on a farm, but do you think you can vet some of the information we're being given? We can read about it, but we'd like to know how it _really_ is."

"Well, you're right, I didn't grow up on a farm. But I had plenty of friends who did, so I spent my fair share of time there. Shoot."

Emily got them started. "What do you know about grain silos? The one in question looks like I always thought all silos looked….. tall, cylindrical. It's even red. But we're hearing that they are falling out of favor."

JJ thought for a moment. "I don't really know a lot, but I remember that the family of one of my close friends was thinking of building a new silo that was rectangular and closer to the ground-more ground surface area, basically. I think I remember something about there being a mold problem in the other kind. At least with certain kinds of crops, or certain climate conditions."

Morgan responded. "So it might be true that a farmer would be considering whether and how to replace a silo?"

"I do remember that silos wear out after a while, so depending on the age of the structure, they may not have had any choice about whether to replace it….just how."

"And what about interns working on farms?" Hotch wanted to know. "Is that a common thing?"

They could see JJ looking into the distance and smiling. "Yes, it's pretty common from the agricultural colleges."

Emily was curious. "JJ? Dish."

JJ looked at them through the video connection. "One summer, there was a particular intern….well, let's just say we hit it off." She noticed the others start to wave at her.

"Can't wait to hear about it." She hadn't heard Reid come back into the room, but apparently the others had seen him through the web cam.

Rossi made a joke of it. "Okay, gotta go. We'll be back in touch when Garcia has something for us."

With the connection broken, JJ turned to Reid with a look that managed to be both apologetic and amused at once. "Spence?"

He was trying to look jealous, but not succeeding. His smile broke through. "I know you had a life before this, JJ. I've noticed, for example, that you have a son."

"What is he up to now?"

"There is a horde of little green army men storming the castle as we speak."

She chuckled. He took her in his arms after he checked to make sure the camera was really off. He was still smiling, but his words were serious. "I know you had a life before," he repeated, "but _my_ life began with you."

She leaned back in his embrace and shook her head at him. "Wrong, my love. You know, for a genius, you can be awfully dense." He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be amused or insulted. "I didn't fall in love with someone newly created. I fell in love with a man whose life experiences shaped him into someone incredibly special to me. Someone who already knew how to be caring, and tender, and empathetic, and forgiving, and….."

His kiss cut off her words. What had started out as a witty exchange had quickly become a declaration of the commitment they had with each other. They both felt it. The recent crises in their lives gave every moment a sense of immediacy. It was never the wrong time for speaking their feelings.

JJ looked as deeply as she could into his eyes. "I love you, Spencer Reid. The whole of you. I'm convinced that anyone who came before was only in my life to help me realize how right it is that I be with you." She gave him her sunshine smile. "Forever and ever."

JJ leaned up and kissed him deeply. When they broke off, Reid heaved a huge sigh. "This is going to be a long six weeks."

* * *

They moved the case board back to the living room so that JJ would be able to sleep if Reid had to work late. Garcia had given Reid the rest of the information he needed for his maps, and they were now in a holding pattern, waiting for the silo to be emptied to see if Wilhelm….or anyone else additional….was inside.

Grateful for the opportunity of being alone, JJ and Reid were together on the sofa, she leaning against his chest.

"How is your incision?"

"I really have much less pain today, even though I moved around quite a bit more. I think I've turned a corner."

He squeezed her shoulder. "That's good to hear. Anything more on your memory?"

She tilted her head to look up at him. "I've been trying to run through my entire life in my mind, looking for gaps. Makes me feel a little bit crazy. I wondered if I'd notice anything because, you know, if the memory is gone, how would I know to look for it?"

He smiled. "I guess it _does_ get a little circular. So, can you tell?"

She took his free hand and played with his fingers. "I think there are a couple of things. There are some cases I can't remember in detail, like I usually can. My college graduation. And Henry's second birthday party."

"The one where Elmo didn't show up and Garcia painted me red as a substitute?"

She sat up and looked at him with an expression that was full of shocked regret. "What? You mean I lost something like that? Oh, please, please let that come back." Now she was smiling.

"I'm not helping you with that one. I'd like to forget it myself."

"Are there pictures?"

"I'm not telling."

She gave a small laugh as she reached her arms around his waist and settled again on his chest. "I'm so sorry I'm being such an emotional wimp. If the doctor hadn't warned us it might happen, I really would think I was losing my mind. I can't tell when something will hit me the wrong way, and I don't seem to have any control over it. It's so not like me, and I hate it."

He kissed the top of her head. "It won't last forever. And it's not the worst thing to be a little vulnerable, JJ. There's a positive side to it. For instance, I can better play the role of the alpha male."

He held in his smile as he watched the remark get the desired response. JJ pushed away and looked at him with a wide-eyed, raised brow expression of disdain. _That's my JJ._

"I've had enough alpha males in my life, thank you very much. Now I want you!"

"Should I be insulted?" He was trying unsuccessfully to look hurt.

She realized what he was up to and punched him in the arm. "You!"

They were both laughing as they embraced. "Oh, Spence, if we didn't have humor, where would we be?"

* * *

After JJ retired, Reid checked in one more time with the team. The silo was nearly empty, and no more bodies had been discovered. It appeared that Wilhelm was in the wind. Law enforcement had already been to his places of residence and work, and found no evidence of foul play, either any committed on him or any committed by him. The team would gather again in the morning to determine next steps.

Reid was feeling a need for some solitude. It was the one thing he missed since staying with Henry and JJ. For nearly his entire lifetime, he'd been a solitary creature, and he knew that trait was integral to the person he'd become. He was grateful that JJ seemed to recognize it. She'd never questioned the nights he'd chosen to go home, or the weekend days he'd spent alone. She knew he needed them. Since her accident, he'd had none. It was a willing sacrifice, but he knew he would be better for her if he nourished himself. Tonight he seized his opportunity, and went to the patio to sit under the night sky.

The walls of the buildings around him effectively blocked out the artificial light, allowing the stars to reveal themselves. Reid settled back in his chair and tilted his head skyward. For a few minutes, he actually closed his eyes. His thoughts were of JJ, and the internal struggle she was undergoing. Of her lost memory of their first declaration of love. Of his gratitude for her life being spared, and the fact of their being together again at home. His thoughts drifted to Henry, and the deepening bond they shared. _Maybe our time alone without JJ was a gift of sorts. He's the little boy I might have been, but wasn't._

Reid opened his eyes and allowed them to drift among the stars. His mind ran through the names of the constellations, their approximate distances from earth, the approximate numbers of billions of years ago their light had been emitted before the photons were striking his retinas. He purposely tried to quiet his mind. _I just want to enjoy the view._

Before he realized it, and to his surprise, his thoughts drifted into prayer_. Can it be true that the same mind that created the heavens is concerned with my life? I don't know if I can believe that. But somehow I do know that I should be thankful ….for JJ, for Henry, for the life we're building together. Maybe even for the trials we're going through. Somehow I know we'll be okay. And I think we'll be stronger._

He remembered something JJ had said when his mother was dying. She'd quoted her own mother's idea that there is always blessing in sorrow, if you know enough to look for it. He thought he was beginning to understand.


	19. Chapter 19

******A.N. First, apologies for a long author's note. I'm hoping to get in one more chapter before vacation (as Henry would say, "Yay!") but just in case it doesn't happen…I may be able to write, but am not so sure about uploading. So this may be a short hiatus.**

******There are two to three more chapters left to this story. Then there's one more arc that I'd like to write for this series, which will come as a separate story. **

******It's competing with another story which is tickling my psyche: a continuation of "The Clone". I agree with those who felt that story ended prematurely. But I was feeling a little schizophrenic myself, writing two JJ/Reid romances at the same time. ("Wait, did they have this conversation yet? Does he know this? Does she think that? Or was it the other story?") So it had to end, to preserve my sanity. ********Once "Reverberations " is done, it can begin again.**

******Not sure which the muse will bring to me first. If the sequel to "Reverberations", it will be "A Song of Their Own". If the sequel to "The Clone", it will be "Consequences". **

******I hope those who've been reading these stories have been enjoying them.**

******Thanks as always to those who've shared their thoughts and enthusiasm. I would write anyway, but hearing from you is enormously gratifying and motivating. **

******Reverberations**

**Chapter 19**

Reid brought the case board and his third cup of coffee into the bedroom for the team's gathering the following morning. Since it was Saturday, Henry would be going to his sitter's for the day, and JJ was getting him ready. The little guy was enthused about playing with Karen's new pet.

Over breakfast, he'd asked, "Uncle Spence, can we get a puppy?"

JJ and Reid had exchanged surprised looks at that. Both of them were keyed in on the fact that Henry had just asked Reid for permission to make a change to the household. As if he recognized Reid as being a part of it. As if he was asking a parent.

Reid opened and closed his mouth several times before words came out. He was touched that his godson thought he could make such a decision at the same time that he himself thought it wasn't his place. Then he noticed JJ looking at him, as though she was awaiting his decision as well. He found himself thinking that they were beginning to function as a family, even though they were not officially one. He began to wonder if it was time to change that situation. He had long since decided that it wasn't a question of 'if', but only of 'when'.

He'd been saved from the puppy decision….and the larger life decision….by Karen's arrival, which proved to be sufficient distraction for Henry.

As he completed the computer connection, Reid was able to see Garcia in her office and the others in Ohio. Hotch began the update and assigning of tasks.

"Overnight, the silo was completely emptied. There were no additional bodies discovered. The whereabouts of Nicholas Wilhelm are unknown."

Emily asked, "Do we know if Wilhelm has any connection with either of the definite murder victims, or with their work places? Or whether they had any connection with each other?"

"You and Morgan will be looking into that today. Since we've put Ben Wallace on the board as a possible murder victim, we'll need to know the same about him as well." Hotch had begun his assignments.

Reid interrupted. "Hotch, I've been thinking. I know these killings are technically serial, but there's a lot that doesn't fit the usual scenario. There's no sexual component, and apart from the actual suffocation, no violence. Could these be motive-driven killings? And the motive, profit?"

Rossi agreed with his young colleague. "I've been thinking the same thing myself. Do we know anything about what types of construction Wilhelm was promoting? Whether he would have any personal financial gain as a result?"

JJ had given Henry into Karen's care, and was now joining the conversation.

"My best friend's father worked sales for a farm construction and supply company. I know that at least part of his income was based on commission, because I remember her telling me it was paying for a big family vacation one summer."

Morgan wanted to be cautious. "It sounds like we're focusing in on Wilhelm as a possibility for our unsub, but we're not even sure Ben Wallace's death was intentional. It may well have been an accident, and Wilhelm may simply have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. We need to keep our minds open about all of this, people."

This was the kind of thinking that had made Hotch place his team in Morgan's hands when he'd been briefly unable to lead.

"Morgan's right. We have a lot of digging still to do. Morgan, you and Prentiss go to the work places. Look into any relationships among Wallace, Wilhelm and the two known victims. Reid, you and JJ….provided you're up to it, JJ….research issues relating to farm construction, who might stand to gain, and how. Rossi and I will meet with the families, who should be getting into town today. Dave, we'll need to meet with the Wallaces as well. Garcia, you'll provide research support as needed. We'll meet online together in three hours."

As the connection broke, Reid looked at JJ. He could tell how much better she was feeling, because the look on her face was no longer one of gratitude about being

included. That one had been replaced by her usual look of fierce determination to succeed in her task. She may still have had a way to go on her road to recovery but JJ was, substantially, back.

"Let me make some calls. I haven't spoken with Julia in ages anyway."

* * *

#############################################

Reid watched JJ make two more circuits of the yard by herself. Then, despite his concern, he watched her get on the treadmill and fast-walk a two mile loop.

"JJ, don't you think you should be careful about overdoing? I mean, what if you pull something loose and end up back at the hospital?"

"Spence, I need to move or I'll go crazy. And I already feel crazy enough with these mood swings. I promise I'll rest if I feel the least bit tired."

Reid knew enough not to believe a word of that, but he so admired her spirit that he didn't argue. The kind of courage and determination JJ was demonstrating in her recovery was a large part of what had attracted him to her in the first place.

"What about Julia?" He had never heard of Julia before. _There is so much I still have to learn about her. I hope I never uncover it all. It will make the most delicious scholarship of my lifetime._

"I've already left her a message. If she's anything like she used to be, I'll hear back from her soon. What have you come up with?"

"Well, there's the obvious. It costs more to completely replace a silo than to renovate an existing one. But there's a fair amount of money to be made making some adjustments to the renovations. For instance, there is a newer method of actually delivering the grain into the silo. It's thought to be more efficient, and to cause less damage to the grain in the process. It's still under patent, so there are limitations in who can make and distribute it. I'm still researching the method and who manufactures the parts."

JJ's phone rang almost on cue. "It's Julia."

Reid listened to JJ's half of the conversation as the two old friends reconnected and caught up on a few things. He noticed JJ's finesse of the conversation, how she knew how much to chit-chat and when to get down to the gathering of case information. He may have loved the woman, but he also respected and valued the skills and contributions of the colleague.

* * *

#####################################

The team reconnected on line just after noon.

"Hey, JJ, how are you feeling?"

"Actually, I'm feeling pretty great, Emily. I have very little pain, and I'm getting back more of my energy all the time."

"That's great to hear, JJ." Hotch was encouraging. "We're anxious to have you back with us full time. Both of you," he added, referring to Reid. As helpful as the video connection was in their current circumstance, he didn't think it leant itself to the same kind of brainstorming the team had always found so helpful.

Hotch called for everyone's attention. "Okay, people, let's see what we've got."

Rossi started. "Hotch and I interviewed the family members of the two known murder victims. It doesn't appear that they knew each other and it doesn't appear that they visited each other's places of employment."

Emily followed. "We spoke with their employers. Ford was never reported missing, presumably because he was scheduled to be on vacation for the past week. Kent missed his first day of work ten days ago. He had a history of some performance…..and maybe alcohol….issues, so it wasn't something new. The owner of the bar and bowling alley never even reported it to the police."

Morgan added, "Neither business owner knew Wilhelm, and didn't believe he'd ever been to their location."

Garcia interrupted. "Ah, but I _did_ find a connection between Wilhelm and our car salesman. Or at least a connection to the dealership. It seems the automaker offers its own emergency service package, and the car dealership that the ironically named Mr. Ford worked at provides the local emergency services. Mr. Wilhelm availed himself of those services exactly five days before Ben Wallace had his accident. Or non-accident, depending on how things fall out."

Hotch called on his two distant team members. "Reid, JJ?"

Reid filled them in on what he'd learned about silo renovations and replacements. "Garcia, can you help with the patent and manufacturers on the replacement parts?"

"Can do, my love. I'll have it in a minute."

While she was gone, JJ shared what she'd learned. "Most farm construction and supply companies work in a similar way. People in sales receive a base salary, but augment it with commissions on the sales they make. My friend said it's specific to the individual project whether the sales representative would make more on replacement or on renovation."

Garcia was back. "The plot most definitely thickens. The patent for the new method of moving grain from the elevator to the silo is held by an individual, Carl Adamson. I can't find any relationship between him and any of our other players."

Just as the team was settling in for another frustrating case, Garcia continued.

"I _have_ found something interesting, however. The parts for the new, "Adamson" method, are currently sold exclusively by…you guessed it, the Parker Farm Equipment and Supply Company."

Morgan observed, "Monetary gain is looking more and more promising as a motive here."

"Maybe for Ben Wallace, if he was resisting Wilhelm's sales pitch," pointed out Emily. "But what about the other two victims? How would they be related?"

Rossi, the most experienced of them, observed, "It's the question of the day, boys and girls." He emphasized the 's' in 'girls' to celebrate JJ's being with them again. "We all need to get busy."

They settled on assignments and agreed to another virtual meeting in two hours.

* * *

###################################################

Morgan and Prentiss went one more time to the 'Bowl and Brew'. This time, they lucked out. A patron who hadn't been there the last time they'd interviewed the owner took one look at a photograph of Wilhelm and identified him as a fellow patron.

"I only remember him being here the once, but it was remarkable because of what happened. This guy," pointing at the photo," was getting pretty loose at the bar. I thought Kent was about to shut him down for the night. Then the guy grabs Kent by the shirt and says something. Kent goes pale and the next thing I see, he's following the guy outside. Kent grabbed his cell before he went outside. I thought he might be planning on taking the guy's keys and calling him a cab. He was good about stuff like that, you know, considering his own problems."

When they got back outside, Morgan looked at Prentiss. "Maybe he was calling for a cab…."

His long time partner finished for him, "or maybe he was planning on getting the plate number, and calling the police."

When they returned to the station, they reported their findings and their suspicions to Hotch.

"We're wondering if Wilhelm developed loose lips and let something slip to the bartender." Emily started this time.

"And then took out the bartender as a potential witness." This time Morgan finished.

Rossi had joined the conversation in progress. "What if he was transporting Kent's body in his car when it broke down?"

Hotch was nodding. He was already there. "And Ford realized it when the dealership provided the emergency services."

Shortly, the entire team reconnected via the internet, and Hotch relayed the latest information to the three distant members.

Garcia was astounded. "Seriously, the next time I have a body in the car, I'm not calling for road service."

"Dumb is dumb, Baby Girl. If you would kill for money, you would do almost anything." Morgan observed.

Reid tried to be practical. "So, if this theory is to hold together, if the killings of Kent and Ford were part of a coverup, it all comes down to who the first victim was and why he was killed. Do we have anything on that at all?"

Garcia chimed in. "The only news I have on that is that the ME narrowed the time span for the dates of death. He thinks the first victim, the unnamed one, was only there for anywhere from three to four weeks. He can't narrow any of them, save Ben Wallace, down to a specific day, due to the conditions of the bodies."

Hotch spoke next. "Garcia, have you already looked for missing persons reports locally?" He knew he could always count on his technical analyst to take some initiative.

"Have done, sir, and no, there are none in the county."

Reid's synapses were firing. For a change, he was focused on the timeline and not the geography. "Hotch, Wilhelm wouldn't have chosen Karden's silo as his body dumping site at random. He had to already have had a connection to it, probably had already been there."

Hotch encouraged him with a nod.

"Garcia," Reid directed, "find out when Wilhelm first became involved with the Karden silo project. And find out if he'd ever been to the site before the day Ben Wallace died."

"We can answer that last part," offered Emily. "Mr. Karden told us he'd met with Wilhelm at the farm a month prior. He'd wanted an estimate, and then gotten estimates from several other companies as well. He'd only recently decided on working with the Parker company."

Good enough for Reid. He spoke again to Garcia. "We need to narrow our timeline and expand our search area. Look for missing persons reports going back a month, Garcia. Expand the area. Look in both Pennsylvania and Ohio, and try cross referencing with farms and farm equipment and supply firms."

JJ spoke up next, directing her words to Reid. "Are you thinking Wilhelm was eliminating the competition?"

"Exactly. Or eliminating those who were choosing the competition. And I'm wondering if Ben Wallace was either on to him, or maybe Ben was just convinced that the old method of grain delivery was better. Either way, it would have cost Wilhelm."

Hotch turned to Morgan and Prentiss. "You spoke with Mr. Karden yesterday. Did he have anything to say about the grain delivery method Ben was advising they use?"

Morgan and Prentiss looked at each other and rose at the same time. "It didn't come up," Morgan explained, "but we'll find out now."

Rossi had learned from experience that it was always acceptable to state the obvious, just in case it was only obvious to him.

"So, we might have identified our unsub, and we might have figured out his motive…but we have no idea where he might be. We need a strategy for locating him."

"We've already put out an APB for the vehicle he used to get to the Karden farm the day Ben Wallace died," Hotch started.

"Where does he keep his money?" It was JJ asking.

"She's right, Hotch. He hasn't exactly been cunning in his behavior so far. He'd probably try to get at his money thinking it would help him escape." Reid was approving of JJ's thought process.

Hotch directed, "Garcia, get on his bank accounts, credit unions…anyplace he might stash his funds."

"Except if it's under the mattress, I'm on it, sir."

* * *

####################################

While the rest of the team followed up on the new case strings, JJ led Reid outside.

She threw her arms wide and actually twirled. "Oh, that felt so good!"

Reid snorted. "Don't let the people in the next yard hear you. They'll worry about having someone who is so exhilarated by a murder investigation as a next door neighbor."

"Stop! You know what I mean. I'm just so happy to contribute. It hasn't actually been that long, but the doctors made it seem like it would be forever."

"The doctors never met my JJ before. They didn't know who they were dealing with." Now he was smiling his pride at her. He just stood there and looked at her.

"What are you doing?"

"Enjoying myself."

"I can help you enjoy yourself a little more."

His raised his brows. "JJ!" And then, "Seriously, it's barely been two weeks since the surgery, and the doctor said six."

She gave him her 'come hither' smile. He started to cave. "Well, since you're doing so well on your recovery, maybe five."

She tried harder. It killed him, but he was resolute. "No, absolutely not….not a day under four weeks."

* * *

##########################################

They reconnected after a very brief hiatus. Garcia was excited.

"He had his money….or at least a lot of it….in the Farmers' Credit Union. He withdrew fifty thousand dollars…..of a three hundred thousand plus account, mind you…yesterday."

Rossi probed. "Garcia, have you looked at credit and debit card use?" He didn't expect the answer to be helpful.

"I have, and there's nothing. He's probably using the cash."

Morgan entered the conversation. "Garcia, is it possible to look for motel or hotel stays paid for in cash?"

"Why does my Bodacious One always seek the needle in the haystack? If they have an electronic registration system, I can try to look for those who haven't paid via credit card. It won't be perfect, but it's the best I can do."

"Go to it, Baby Girl."

Emily offered their new information. "We spoke with Mr. Karden again. He said he'd been about to go with the patented method suggested by Wilhelm. I guess Ben was away for a short time after he graduated. When he came back, Ben advised against the new method. He didn't think it was worth the additional expense, and he knew the Kardens were saving for their retirement. Mr. Karden was distraught at the idea that his decision might have led to Ben's being killed."

Watching the video screen, JJ and Reid could see a member of the sheriff's department come in and hand something to Hotch.

He announced to the team, "Wilhelm's car has been found abandoned in Beckford, which is about forty miles from here."

Morgan directed his Baby Girl again. "Garcia, narrow that search to a five mile radius of Beckford."

Garcia was excited to have what promised to be a much more rewarding task. Hotch sent Morgan and Prentiss to the car abandonment site, thinking to position them nearer their presumed unsub.

They decided to reconnect in an hour.

* * *

###################################

It was nearing the dinner hour. Karen brought Henry home, and he regaled JJ and Reid with tales of his adventures with her puppy. If Reid thought he'd dodged the bullet in the morning, he was sure it was aimed directly at him now.

"So, can we get a puppy, Uncle Spence?"

Now he was prepared. "I think you should ask your mother that question, Henry."

"Mommy, can we get a puppy? Please?" Henry was trying his best pathetic look.

JJ laughed at him. "Henry, we're away so much, I don't know that we could take proper care of a puppy. Maybe some day."

Reid realized he would have blown it, silently prayed his gratitude that he'd deferred to JJ. He hadn't learned how to say 'no' to Henry yet_. I've obviously got work to do. Toughen up, Reid._

Henry was sad, but distractible. "Hey, little man, want to learn how to make a make a flower come out of a hat?" The puppy was forgotten as Reid's apprentice followed him to the living room.

* * *

#####################################

JJ broke her own rule. She parked Henry in front of the TV, allowing cartoons to babysit her child. The team was regathering online.

Garcia started them off. "I don't have anything on the motels yet, sorry Derek. But I did find a Frank Marcener who went missing from his farm a little over three weeks ago. The farm is outside Pittsburgh, which is about 200 miles from the Karden farm. There's a branch of the Parker company nearby."

"Do we know if Wilhelm consulted with him?" Morgan was phoning in from the site of the car discovery.

"Asked, but not answered. I'm waiting for them to call back."

"Good work, Garcia." Hotch then asked of Morgan, "What do we have on the car?"

"It's Wilhelm's and there's a large sleeping bag in the trunk. We're wondering if he could have used that to suffocate the victims."

Emily added, "They've taken it to the lab. We'll see if they can get DNA from it."

Rossi summarized for them again. "So we've probably identified all of the victims….and it looks like Ben Wallace is also a victim…..we've identified our 'no longer' unsub, we've got motive and probably method…..now we just need to catch the bad guy."

"Which we've done! Which we've done!" They couldn't actually see Garcia jumping in her seat, but did notice that her head went in and out of the picture. "We've got him! It just came through! There's a 'Ned White' staying at the Three Acres Motor Lodge in Beckford. He didn't pay by credit or debit card. That's got to be him, doesn't it?"

"Well, the use of his own initials fits with his poor planning around the rest of his offenses," observed Emily. They could hear her running to the car over the phone. "Garcia, can you give us an address for the GPS?"

She did. Morgan and Prentiss met up with the local sheriff's department at the motel and took down their unsub without incident. When they interrogated him, they found that their case analysis had been accurate. Wilhelm killed Marcener to prevent him from interrupting the sale of the new grain delivery method for his farm improvement. Not knowing what else to do, he'd driven the body around in the trunk of his car until he thought about Karden project. He'd felt it a stroke of genius to dump the body in the silo. He'd been so impressed with himself that he'd let it slip when he visited the Bowl and Brew and had one too many. No one would ever be sure why Kent had followed him outside, but Wilhelm had been concerned he'd be reported to the police. He suffocated Kent and then kept _him_ in the trunk of his car until he could get back to the Karden farm. But the car broke down, and Ford noticed an odor coming from the trunk….so Wilhelm killed him as well. He hadn't had a plan to kill Ben Wallace, but had become enraged when Ben told him he was advising the Kardens against working with the Parker company. It had become a slippery slope for Wilhelm, and killing had become easier with each instance.

He wasn't their typical serial killer, but there was every indication that he would have continued if not for the team. Hotch congratulated his entire team on work well done.

* * *

################################

They'd gotten Henry to bed and were enjoying some quiet time together cuddling.

"Spence, I think I'm well enough that you could go back to work full time." She could tell that the distance case work had been a bit frustrating for him. "Henry will be at preschool during the week, and I can handle him in the evenings if you have to travel."

"Won't you be exhausted, JJ?"

"It would only be when you're away. How bad could it be?"

He sounded hesitant. "I guess, as long as you'll let me stay and help you the rest of the time. I like taking care of you, JJ."

She gave him a squeeze. "Not that I need taking care of...but I like it too."

She realized she would never have said the same thing to Will. He'd been more old school, raised to think it was the man's place to take care of the woman. Which made her obstinately determined never to appear to need him to take care of her.

With Spence, who carried no such preconceptions, she was free to be herself, strong when she felt it, dependent when she needed to be. _This is part of why being with Spence feels so much like coming home_, she thought, _I'm coming back to myself._

Later, after JJ had gone to bed, Reid took some necessary time to think. It seemed like they were beginning to approach the end of this time of living together, and he didn't know how to feel about it.

Truth be told, he'd relished this recent taste of family life, but was concerned that he wasn't able to give as well as he received. Without planning to do so, he'd been testing himself, measuring his ability to be who they needed him to be. The whole idea of family was so new to him. Desirable, but new. He had no experience. He envied JJ the ease with which she had incorporated him into her household, her family. He didn't know how well he could make the daily compromises, the little sacrifices that loved ones made without thinking. This wasn't something he could learn from a book. Now that he'd been considering making their relationship permanent, his insecurities had reappeared and he'd begun to focus on all the ways he might fail.

The boy abandoned by both parents, each in a different way, shied away from the commitment. The man who was so desperately in love with this woman and her little boy, longed for it. It was time for him to reconcile the two aspects of himself. _I just need an instruction manual._


	20. Chapter 20

**A.N. Last one up before vacation. Hope you all enjoy!  
**

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 20**

JJ took a deep breath. The house was quiet. Reid had gone in to the BAU, and Henry was at preschool. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a full day to herself. Briefly, she didn't know what to do with herself. _I used to be alone full time. What did I do then? Oh, that's right. Relax. Read. Run._

She'd promised Reid there'd be no running unless he was home ("In case something happens to you, JJ. I don't ever want to get another phone call like the one I got that day.") She was willing to bet he'd pulled the pity card on that, but decided to humor him. _That still leaves me relaxing and reading…and writing._ She realized she'd done very little journaling since her return from the hospital. She had put aside reading the journal as well, ever since her experience in realizing it pointed out her loss of a most precious memory. _And I still haven't gotten it back._ Tears threatened, but didn't fall. She was slowly getting used to her new reality.

Taking out the journal, she turned to the first blank page. "Spence went back to work today. After having him around full time for most of the past week, I miss him. He managed to take care of me without hovering, which I think required a monumental effort on his part. He's actually very cute when he's worrying so much but trying not to_ look_ worried. Hotch is right. We're going to have to work on both his microexpressions and his macroexpressions.

I think there is something else on his mind. We've been , essentially, living together for a little while now. For me, everything about it is good. I'm used to sharing my life, and I love having the love of my life with me. But I know him too well. He has no experience with this. He's been alone since he was eighteen. And before that, he was a caretaker for an impaired adult. As much as he lights up when he spends time with Henry, I also see a weariness impose itself upon him when he's not had his time alone. I think we will need to figure out how he can have both. I know the man I fell in love with is the one who treasures his privacy, his time to reflect, his time to challenge his mind. And I need to learn how to give it to him. It won't come naturally to me.

I find myself comparing this relationship to the one I had with Will. I've had several lovers, and several serious relationships, but the one with Will lasted the longest…..even if it was only because of Henry. Technically, I've only been with Spence for a few months, but it seems so much longer. The connection, the sharing were already there long before we were ready to acknowledge anything else. To someone on the outside looking in, it might seem like we're moving quickly, but it doesn't feel that way. Not that I'm sure we're moving at all at the moment. And maybe we don't need to. Maybe we should stay like we are until we figure out exactly how to move forward together.

But….I think Henry has moved ahead without us. So we may find ourselves rushing to keep up with him. He's really looking at Spence as a parent now, I think. I could see it coming before, but I think the time they spent alone together while I was in the hospital really cemented the bond. Today Henry asked Spence if he could get a puppy. Poor Spence, he was paralyzed. I know he wanted to say 'yes' to Henry, but he didn't want to overstep his boundaries. I could only sit and watch him, and wonder how he would handle it. I think I got a taste of what will happen when Henry is sixteen and wants the keys to the car…"Go ask your mother" was essentially the response. And Spence looked pretty pleased with himself to have come up with it! I sense a discussion in our future…"

She was smiling as she wrote the last bit. Spence had been dumbfounded the first time Henry had asked, and deferred to her the second time. But what made her smile now was the memory of the look in Spence's eyes. He was surprised, pleased, intimidated, and mostly, very visibly moved by what seemed to Henry the most natural thing in the world. For all of her concerns about how her life decisions might affect Henry, JJ realized the blessing in his connection with his godfather…..who might, she hoped, one day be his stepfather.

The thought brought her back to Will. They hadn't heard from him since the accident. His superiors in New Orleans had promised to 'try' to get word to him, but the nature of this particular deep undercover assignment was such that he might be out of touch indefinitely. She wondered if he even knew about the accident. She was convinced that, if word had gotten to him, he would have tried to reach out to her. She uttered a brief prayer for his safety. And one in thanksgiving that, even with this prolonged gap in communication with his father, Henry seemed to be handling things well.

* * *

##########################################

At the BAU, Reid was fielding inquiries about JJ and good wishes for her continued recovery.

"You tell her to hurry up and get back….well, not to hurry, exactly, because I don't want her to overdo and relapse….but you know what I mean." Garcia was chattering, even though she spoke with JJ almost daily on the phone.

Morgan waved her down. "Baby Girl, calm down. I'm sure he's got it under control. Right, Kid?"

Somewhere along the way, despite his doubts about Reid's dating prowess, it seemed Morgan had developed an admiration and respect for his colleague's relationship with JJ. So much so that he almost felt it wrong to call him 'Kid', let alone 'Pretty Boy'. But since he didn't have another appellation, he'd decided those would have to remain.

"She's doing great, Garcia. Really, we're just following doctor's orders right now, or I think she'd be back. We went to an appointment yesterday, and he cut her recovery time down to four weeks."

They all thought they understood how glad Reid would be to have JJ back to work when they saw his smile at the 'four weeks' remark. Only he and JJ knew what the four weeks really meant. The date was circled with a red heart on the calendar in the kitchen.

* * *

####################################

Henry and JJ were busy in the kitchen when Reid got home. Henry heard the door and ran into the living room to tell his godfather to stay out there.

"We have a surprise for you, Uncle Spence!" Henry was in Reid's arms, so was shouting this into his face.

"A surprise? What's the occasion?"

"What's a 'casion', Uncle Spence?"

Reid laughed. Henry seemed so smart to him that he sometimes stretched beyond the boy's vocabulary. "An occasion is a special day, Henry. Is today a special day? Is that why you and Mommy are making a surprise?" He noticed that JJ still hadn't exited the kitchen, and didn't know if he should be concerned.

Henry looked puzzled. He didn't realize he had to have a reason to make a surprise for someone. He thought they were doing it just for fun.

JJ finally came into the living room, and Reid breathed a silent sigh of relief. He couldn't help but worry, but knew he would drive JJ crazy if he _looked_ like he was worrying all the time. So he was trying to master the art of looking calm and collected while internally running the odds of everything that might have gone wrong.

She kissed him hello. "How was your day?"

"Nothing special. Just reports and paper consults. Everyone says 'hello' and 'hurry back'." He reached an arm around her waist to keep her there and extend the kiss. They'd realized Henry wasn't affected by this one way or the other, so no longer held back their signs of affection when they were with him.

"Henry says there's a surprise. Is it a special occasion?" And then, suddenly, he was concerned that he'd missed some sort of anniversary in their relationship. He'd grilled Emily on 'boyfriend responsibilities', and she'd mentioned remembering special occasions, but he now realized she'd never told him what those special occasions might be.

JJ watched the series of expressions cross his face, read them correctly, and started to laugh. "No, you didn't miss anything, Spence. We just wanted to say 'thank you' for taking such good care of us."

He was pleased until he realized she might be saying that she didn't need him to do so anymore. She read that look, too. _You may be a genius, Spencer Reid, but I have most definitely got your number. _

Before Reid could open his mouth, JJ filled the gap with, "And how much we love having you here with us, every…single….day." JJ had slowed down to emphasize the last three words.

"Yeah!" It came from Henry. "Can you live with us all the time, Uncle Spence?"

The adults exchanged a look. Reid kept his eyes on JJ as he responded, "We'll talk about it Henry." More quietly, to JJ he said, "We should talk." She nodded her understanding.

The two loves of Reid's life had created a festive picnic on the patio, complete with smores for dessert. JJ looked an apology at Spence. " I know you don't love them, but it was either that or chocolate chip pancakes for dinner. The four year old palate isn't exactly extensive."

"Well, it may not be extensive, but it's definitely tasty, right Henry?" asked his godfather.

"It's the best. Mommy, since we didn't have chocolate chip pancakes for dinner, can we have them for breakfast?"

* * *

############################################

Reid took charge of bath and story time so JJ could rest a bit, and then they both joined Henry for prayers. "And God bless Mommy, and Daddy, and Uncle Spence and Auntie Penelope, and please, pretty please, make Mommy let me get a puppy."

Reid gave JJ an "I told you so" look. After they shut Henry's door, he said, "You don't stand a chance if Henry's got the Big Guy on this, JJ. I have a feeling you're getting a puppy."

She eyed him right back. "First of all, _'we'_ would be getting a puppy. And you'd be in charge of training him, you know, since you're a genius and all."

"Oh." He gave it some thought. "How bad can it be?"

"Spence, did you ever have a pet?"

He guffawed. "I was just like Henry. I begged. I wheedled. I think I might have almost won, but then my mom heard about microchips being implanted into pets…..and that was the end of that." He was reflective for a moment. "It was probably just as well. I could barely take care of the two of us, I don't think I could have handled a dog as well."

Another piece of fallout from the childhood he'd suffered. JJ started to consider giving in just to try to right one of the many wrongs in Reid's life.

He brought her by the hand over to the sofa. "JJ, we should talk."

She thought she knew where this was going. She took his hand in both of hers. "Spence, I know you're not ready. I know you need to take your time on this. I don't want you to feel any pressure to move in. I love having you here, and you know how Henry feels, but I sense that you might need something else."

He was shaking his head at her. "That's not it at all, JJ. It's not what _I _need, it's what _you_ need. I've been alone for so long, I'm not sure I know how to live with anyone else. I'm afraid of not being who you need me to be." He'd been able to think about little else lately, and he hadn't found a solution.

She just sat and looked at him for a long time. His insecurities were so deep seated. She knew he'd gained confidence in himself through their relationship, she'd been able to feel the changes in him. But there was, at his core, still some remnant of that boy who was never able to measure up, who despite his brilliance and many talents, was always the one left behind….by his parents, by those who should have been his friends. JJ began to wonder if she was up to the task of helping him overcome that last bit of lost boy.

Still holding his hand, she settled herself against his shoulder. He was familiar with the stance. It meant she was thinking. He knew from experience that he should wait her out, for there would be a piece of JJ wisdom forthcoming. He was just afraid that he'd put her off, that she would agree with him that they might not be suited to live together.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, JJ kissed his shoulder and then turned to face him directly.

"Spence, do you love me?"

He was panicked. Had he brought her to question that? Gulping, he answered, "JJ, of course I do. More than I think I could ever tell you."

"And do you respect me?"

He was completely still, now not certain where she was going. "Yes," came out in a very quiet voice.

"Do you respect me enough to trust what I say?"

Now he could only nod.

"Will you listen, _really listen_, to me?"

His eyes narrowed in an 'of course' message, and again he could only nod.

"I am a single mother. I love my son dearly. Before any of my own needs, I place his. If that means being alone, then that's what it means."

She'd only paused for a breath, but Reid felt like his heart had stopped. _No, please, no!_

JJ continued. "But, thankfully, there's someone already placed into my life who loves me, and loves my son. And we both love him in return. I think we love him quite a bit more than he loves himself."

His eyes had been riveted to hers, but he broke away at that. She saw him swallow back his emotion.

JJ reached out and turned Spence's face back to hers. She held his eyes fast as she continued.

"We see the man who knows how to make us smile, and laugh, who makes magic in as many ways as it can be made." His eyes brightened a little at that.

"The man who dropped everything to help me recover and took care of my son in the process." He was shaking his head at that. He knew he'd never even considered another option.

"The man who can whip up a gourmet meal and a side of chocolate chip pancakes at the same time." She was hoping for a small smile, and was rewarded.

"And the man who still has some of the abandoned little boy inside him." They'd gotten serious again.

"Spence, don't you realize we all have some of our childhood left with us? I'm the girl whose sister didn't love her enough to grow up with her, whose mother always felt for the missing child more than the one in front of her. You're the boy whose mother couldn't love him the way she wanted to, and whose father simply didn't. Henry will be the boy whose parents didn't stay together."

She paused, to make sure she had his full attention, "But he can also be the boy who had two loving adults who created a loving home for him."

She shifted her position. "You don't feel adequate. Neither do I, Spence. Loving another human being is an enormous task, one that we have to take one day at a time, sometimes even one minute at a time. But all that hard work comes with some huge rewards."

He was listening. "You're worried you've been alone too long, that you won't know how to live in a household with other people. You're worried that you'll lose a little piece of 'you' in the process."

His brows went up. She smiled slightly. "Aren't you impressed with how well I know you?"

He gave her his half smile. "And I love every piece of what I know. I don't want you to lose any of 'you' either. If you're willing, we'll find a way. We can make a space for you, give you time for yourself…..God knows I need more 'Mommy and me' time with Henry anyway. But you have to want it enough to try, Spence."

He knew she was right, and he knew how much he wanted it. He battled down that little boy insecurity that wanted to rear itself up again. "I do want it, JJ. I want you, I want Henry, I want a life together. I want _a life_."

She took his hand and kissed the back of it. "Then you shall have it, my love."

* * *

############################

They sat in silence for a while after that, each thinking, reflecting, planning. Reid realized something.

"JJ, remember the other night when you left the dinner dishes on the counter because you wanted to watch a program on TV?"

"Yes?"

"That was irritating."

She thought to protest, but then caught the smile on his face and answered with one of her own. "Oh yeah? And what did you do about it?"

"I washed them." He thought of something else.

"And you know how you always buy the wrong brand of peanut butter every time you go shopping?"

"I buy the one Henry and I like."

"Right. The wrong brand. That's irritating too."

She could play this too. "All right, what are you going to do about it?"

"Learn to like the wrong brand?"

"I think you're getting the hang of this, Spence. Maybe you're better at living together than you think. But can we agree not to discuss _every_ difference we have? _Because _that's_ irritating_." He'd finished the sentence with her and they both laughed.

This time he took her face in his hands. "I don't know how you have such patience with me, JJ, but I will be ever grateful that you do." He reached in and kissed her.

As they settled in to hold each other, JJ recalled a phone call from earlier in the day.

"Oh, one thing I forgot to tell you, Spence. My parents get home from their Australia trip next week. They want to come and visit."

Reid had met JJ's parents twice before, at Henry's christening and again at his first birthday party. He recalled her mother as being pleasant enough, but her father as being somewhat gruff. Reid had only been introduced as a good friend back then. He wasn't sure what kind of scrutiny he would be under as a potential life partner.

Gulp.


	21. Chapter 21

**A.N. Back from a great vacation! Not _quite _firing on all cylinders yet...  
**

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 21**

After her two men left the next morning, JJ brought her journal onto the patio. She'd insisted on a two mile run before Reid left for the BAU, and she was feeling deliciously sore from the newly resumed activity.

"I think we may have turned a corner last night. I sure _hope_ we have. I think Spence may finally be starting to feel that he has what it takes for a forever life. Of course, _I'm _not entirely sure about myself, either. I think I'm just more comfortable living with the uncertainty. Growing up in a family, even one visited by tragedy such as ours was, helps me to see that problems can be overcome. Maybe not without leaving scars, but enough to allow life to go on. Spence saw only endings in his young life. I pray that he will be able to focus on beginnings.

Mom called yesterday. She and Dad get home next week from their Australia trip. They're still so worried about me after the accident that they plan to turn around and come right here as soon as they get home. Spence went completely pale when I told him last night. I think he's afraid of my dad. I know that when they met each other before, Spence seemed fine with Mom but always kept his distance from Dad. Maybe it was Dad's tendency to be a little gruff, or maybe it is just more fallout from Spence's experience with his own father. Either way, Spence won't be able to avoid Dad forever. When he gets to know him, he'll realize that Dad is just protective of his remaining 'little girl'. And since Spence is too, I'm sure they'll eventually get along just fine. I hope."

JJ knew she intended that her father understand everything that Spence had done for her and Henry-who was 'Papa's little man'-as well as everything Spence _was_ to both of them. Her father had liked Will, but JJ had always wondered if that was because he saw Will as a 'done deal'...she was already pregnant with Henry at the time. The fact that neither parent had pressured her at all to think about marriage had spoken volumes to her about whether they saw Will as the right life partner for her.

She resumed her writing. "Spence is different from the kind of male I grew up around, which makes him different from the kind Dad might have pictured me with. He is, obviously, more cerebral than most...more cerebral than most of the world, really. And he's much more sensitive, and he _cares_ so much. And he is _so _not full of himself, which is a lot more than can be said about most of the guys I dated. That leaves plenty of room for Henry and me. I hope they can see him the way I see him. And I know Henry will fill their ears about his Uncle Spence!"

JJ put her pen down, leaned back in her chair, and closed her eyes. Being at home like this allowed her the luxury of a nap, with the promise of a beautiful dream inside.

* * *

**#####################################**

Emily observed Reid's distraction. He usually plowed through his pile of paper consults so quickly that he noticed when she or Morgan tried to slip him a few extras. Today Morgan had gotten three into Reid's pile without so much as a glare from their resident genius.

"What's up, Reid? Everything all right with JJ?" Emily made the assumption about what might be bothering him.

"Hmm? What?" He hadn't really been paying attention.

"Is everything okay?"

He looked confused. "Okay? Sure, why wouldn't it be?"

She looked at him for an extra beat. "You just look like you're far away. I wondered if there was anything bothering you."

He was too quick to answer. "Nope, nothing's bothering me. Nothing at all."

Morgan came by to make another run at sliding in a file and heard the last part of the exchange. He felt a little guilty when he caught the gist of it and held the file behind his back.

"Kid, there's clearly something on your mind. You didn't even notice that I gave you one of my files."

Emily gave Morgan her raised brows. Apparently he would cop to sliding only one of the three folders into Reid's pile. Morgan shrugged at her in return. He was willing to acknowledge the one to make his point to Reid, but he didn't see a reason to admit to everything.

Reid looked from one to the other, and correctly deduced what had gone on. They'd worked together for so long, and so intensely, that there were essentially no secrets among the team. He decided he might as well share his concern with them.

Looking embarrassed, he conceded, "All right. There _is _something on my mind."

Morgan encouraged him. "Go ahead, Kid."

"It's stupid, really. But JJ's parents are coming to visit her next week. They're just getting back from Australia and they want to come to see her right away."

Emily nodded. "That's understandable. It must have been awful for them to be so far away with their daughter so seriously injured."

Reid acknowledged her point. "They'd wanted to abort the trip, but JJ wouldn't let them. I understand their wanting to come. I'm just a little nervous about her dad."

"You've met him before, Reid. What's to be nervous about?" Morgan didn't get it.

Reid's anxiety was growing. "What's to be nervous about? When I met him before, I was just the good friend, the godfather to his grandson. Will was under the microscope then. Now, I'm the guy in JJ's life. Her dad scared me when I _wasn't_ dating his daughter. Now I'm terrified."

Rossi was strolling by as this last statement was made**. **He stepped over to Reid and put an avuncular hand on his shoulder.

"Remember, my young friend, that I am very fond of young JJ myself. It's not only her father you need to be worried about." The profilers all shared a laugh at Rossi's attempt at humor, although Reid's was somewhat forced.

"That's just great, Rossi. I feel _so_ much better to know I have two of you after me."

* * *

#######################################

More bad news awaited Reid upon his return home. JJ met him at the door with a hug and kiss…..and the news of the date her parents would arrive. She brought him to the kitchen to show him on their calendar. It was two days before the date circled in red. Two days before their four weeks were up.

Reid was open-mouthed. When he recovered himself, his only question was, "How long are they staying?"

"They haven't said, exactly. Probably only a few days…..although my mom stayed for two weeks when Henry was born."

Reid sat with his head in his hands. JJ knew he was going for a comical effect, but also sympathized with him. She was disappointed too. Finally, he offered, "Well, I guess if I could wait thirty years, I can wait another few weeks." He looked at her with a resigned grin. "But it just might kill me."

She bent down and kissed him. "It will just be more precious."

Then Reid got more serious. "JJ, should I go back to my place while they're here?"

She'd obviously been giving some thought to the question. "I honestly don't know, Spence. I mean, they seemed to be okay with Will and me living together, but then we had a child together. They know you and I are seeing each other, and they know you've been staying here with me after the accident. I think Mom would be fine with you being here, but I'm not as certain about Dad. He's pretty protective of his little girl, and he might not see why you need to stay here if he's around to take care of me."

Reid noticed that JJ seemed to be holding something back. He prodded her. "And what else?"

She looked briefly at him, and then away. "And I wonder if they'll think it's too soon for us….I was with Will the last time they visited."

That caught him off guard. "JJ, do _you_ think it's too soon? Are we moving too fast?" It didn't feel fast to him. He'd loved her for years, without being able to acknowledge it, sometimes even to himself.

"No, Spence, no. We've been connected for so long, nothing about our relationship feels rushed. I'm just not sure my parents will see it the same way." She gave him a flirtatious smile. "After all, we did sleep together on our first date."

He'd never thought about it that way. Technically it had only happened because he hadn't managed to ask her for a date until long after they'd declared their love for one another. Still….. "JJ! I never realized you were that kind of girl…or that I was that kind of guy." He gave her his Groucho Marx eyebrows. "Must be my animal magnetism."

"Or your fear of dancing."

"Touche. Although I did rather like it."

She was smiling. "So did I, Spence. It was a beautiful night. And I still remember it, thank God."

He was serious now. "Nothing else coming back?" He didn't want to upset her, but he was anxious for her memory to return, for his own reasons.

She looked a little sad, but there was only resignation in her voice. "Nothing. I look for them in my mind every day, but the memories are still gone." She sighed and then continued. "But in the good news department, I think my emotions are on a more even keel." She hesitated a moment. "Unless you tell me otherwise?"

He smiled again as he took her into his arms. "No, I've got my old JJ back." His eyes studied her face. "No matter, JJ. No matter what you remember, no matter what your mood is like…I love you. Always have, always will." He punctuated the statement with a kiss.

"And I love you, too. And the more I think about it, the more I think my parents will love you. Let's plan on you staying."

He still looked wary. "All right, if you say so. But please remember I'm rather fond of my hide, so if you see any signs that your dad is after it…"

"I'll be sure to let you know."

* * *

################################################

Reid's consternation about the visit continued into the next week. He pumped JJ for information on her parent's interests, likes and dislikes, and held "practice conversations" with himself on the way to and from work each day. And then…

"JJ," he said over the phone, trying not to sound as relieved as he felt, "we have a case. I'm going to have to be out of town. I'll definitely be away when your parents arrive tomorrow."

She was disappointed. She knew how worried Spence was about meeting them in this new context, but it had to happen sometime, and she very much wanted to share their relationship with her parents.

"Oh, Spence, what awful timing! I really wanted you all to be able to spend some time with one another. I want them to know you the way that I do, and I want them to see how happy you make me."

"JJ, I can't lie to you. Part of me is relieved, but most of me wants to do what makes you happy. Maybe we'll get back before they have to leave. Although the police in Kentucky made this sound like a pretty complex case."

She sighed. "It's the hazard of the job, I guess. They'll be disappointed about not seeing you….I know they really want to thank you in person for all you've done for me. But, like you said, maybe you'll get back before they leave and, if not, we'll find another way to get you together."

"I'm sorry, JJ. We're leaving in 20 minutes. Will you be all right on your own tonight?" It was the first overnight they'd be apart since she'd come home from the hospital. Despite her assurances of being able to handle things, he was worried, and was glad to know that her parents would be joining her the next day.

"We'll be all right, Spence. If you get a chance, call and say good night to Henry."

"Will do. I love you both."

* * *

################################

"Yay! Meme and Papa!" Henry was thrilled to see his grandparents. They lived far enough away, and JJ's schedule was so unpredictable, that they didn't get to visit as often as any of them would have liked. The little guy was all smiles and hugs, and greatly confused when he noticed that all three of the adults were shedding tears as they greeted one another.

Her mother held JJ away from her to get a good look. "You're too thin. Are you eating? Let me fix us a good supper tonight."

JJ laughed at the predictability of her mother's behavior. "I'm fine, Mom. Spence has been doing a lot of the cooking, and he's pretty good at it." She noticed a shadow of disappointment on her mother's face. "But I will never turn down a home cooked meal from my Mom."

Mrs. Jareau was placated. "Then you shall have it. Honey, do you have any pain?"

"Sandy, let the girl breathe, will you?" Her father wanted his turn at hugging JJ. "How's my lovely daughter?"

"I'm fine, Dad, really. Everything's pretty much back to normal. I'll see the doctor one more time next week, but I'm expecting he'll clear me to go back to work then."

Mr. Jareau wanted to know. "When will we see your young man?"

JJ hadn't told them yet. "Actually, they were called out on a case yesterday. Spence is in Kentucky. He was very disappointed not to be here when you arrived." _A little white lie is okay sometimes._ "But he's hoping to be back before you have to leave."

Her mother responded. "Honey, we were in a hurry to see you, so we came right away. But I'm afraid we can only stay a couple of days. Your father has a doctor's appointment at the end of the week."

JJ's alarms were ringing. "A doctor's appointment? For what?"

Her father squeezed her arms reassuringly. "It's nothing, honey. Just a check-up. But it takes so long to get an appointment that I didn't want to cancel."

She looked from one parent to the other. She didn't know that she should believe him, but they weren't giving anything away with their expressions. "You'd tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?"

"Of course, honey. It's really just a check-up. Now come and sit in the kitchen with me while I start supper. I want to hear all about you and Spencer." Her mother took JJ's arm and escorted her out of the room. Her father thought he'd better hear about the man who'd captured his daughter's heart as well, and followed them.

* * *

#####################################

JJ took time with her journal before retiring for the evening. Spence had managed a brief call at Henry's bedtime, and bid a speakerphone 'Hello' to her parents, but there hadn't been time for more than that.

"I didn't realize how much I needed to see my parents until they got here. No matter how old I get, there's always something righter in my world when they're around. Mom had a hard time hearing about my time in the hospital….and I think Dad teared up a little bit as well. But they were also so very happy to hear about how Spence stepped in. And if they ever had any doubts about his role in our family, I'm sure Henry's accolades resolved them. He couldn't say enough about his Uncle Spence."

She smiled as she remembered watching Henry demonstrate his acquired magic for his grandparents. Spence's little apprentice was accumulating an impressive bag of tricks….for a four year old, anyway.

"I love watching Dad with Henry. They just love spending time with each other. And I so hope that Dad is telling me the truth about his doctor's visit. I'm not ready for anything to be wrong with either of them. Of course, I don't think I ever will be. After sharing Spence's experience with his mother, I treasure each moment I have with my own parents all the more."

* * *

#######################################

Their time together ended all too quickly. The BAU team expected to wrap things in Kentucky within the next 24 hours, but it would be too late for Reid to meet up with the Jareaus.

"Maybe we can take a trip to Pennsylvania if Spence and I can get some time off together. Although I think this medical leave will make that difficult. But maybe you and Dad can get down here again soon, Mom."

"We'll definitely try, honey. You tell Spencer that we love him for taking such good care of you."

"And that he'd better keep it up." JJ recognized the humor in her father's gruff tone, but wasn't so sure Reid would have had the same interpretation.

Henry joined JJ in waving goodbye to his grandparents. He saw the wetness of her eyes and was concerned. "Are you sad, Mommy?"

She looked down and squeezed the hand she was holding. "I just love my mommy and daddy, and miss them when they leave."

"Like I cried when my daddy left?"

JJ's eyes shut as the wave of guilt washed over her. "Like that, buddy. Do you still feel sad now?" She realized it had been a couple of months since anyone had heard from Will. Deep undercover was a difficult place to be.

He considered it a moment. "Sometimes, when I want him to call me. Why doesn't he call me, Mommy?"

"He's in a place that doesn't have phones, Henry. I'm sure he wants to call you, and he will, as soon as he can."

Henry made the four year old's lightning recovery. "Okay." And then, precociously recognizing an opportunity, he seized it. "Mommy, can we get a puppy?"

* * *

######################################

The following evening found Reid striding quickly up the walkway, anxious to see his family again. He was, unpredictably, not met at the door by either Henry or JJ. Walking through the house, he realized it was empty, but he heard sounds coming from the yard. He caught the flash of a little blond head running by a window, and then a smattering of laughter.

The profiler in him couldn't help but notice some changes to the interior of the house. There was a baby gate in the doorway leading from the kitchen to the living room, a pile of newspapers inside a crate newly placed in a corner of the kitchen, and a water dish on the floor. So he wasn't at all surprised at the sight that met his eyes when he stepped into the yard.

"We got a puppy, Uncle Spence!" The little guy was chasing the little golden retriever all over the yard….or being chased by the dog. They were so all over the place that Reid couldn't tell.

"So I see." He was looking at JJ with an "I told you so" expression on his face, eventually replaced by a cheek to cheek grin. Henry wasn't the only boy in the house happy to have a dog.

She returned his smile as she got up to greet him properly. "He broke me down. Or maybe it was the Big Guy and the prayer he made, I don't know. It might be a challenge, but I'm game if you are."

"I already feel like a kid again. Or maybe, for the first time." Hearing that, JJ was sure she'd made the right decision.

"Wanna know her name, Uncle Spence?"

Reid was a little disappointed not to be in on the naming, but hid it. "Sure, Henry, what is it?"

"Well, we got her while you were away on a case….so I called her 'Casey'!"

"Henry, that is the perfect name for a dog….and especially for _our_ dog. Great job, little man."

"Yay!"

* * *

######################

JJ watched out the kitchen window as she prepared dinner for them. Her heart was full of love for both of the men in her life as she watched each of them rolling in the grass with Casey. She'd only seen that kind of grin on Spence's face when he'd wrestled with Henry. She mused that he was slowly acquiring the boyhood that had eluded him so many years ago. And she was immensely grateful for having been able to give it to him.


	22. Chapter 22

**A.N. Last chapter. I've enjoyed writing it and hope you've enjoyed reading it. If you find you're still interested in the story, look for the next arc in A Song of Their Own.  
**

**Reverberations**

**Chapter 22**

"Mommy, can Casey sleep in my bed?" Henry was as bonded to his new puppy as a little boy could get.

"I don't think Casey is ready to sleep in anybody's bed but her own, little man. She's not potty trained yet."

"Well, then, could I sleep in the kitchen with her?"

Reid stepped in. "How about this, Henry? You and I will check on her right before you go to sleep, and I'll wake you up in the morning to check on her again before I go to work."

"But what if she misses me, Uncle Spence? What if she cries?"

Reid did the only thing a man could do. He turned to JJ. "Yeah, what if she cries?"

She shrugged. "All I know is, I'm sleeping in my own bed tonight." Then she looked at Reid meaningfully. "You know, the night that is three nights after the one with the red circle around it."

Reid's brows shot up. _How could I have forgotten? Was I that thrown by a little puppy?_

He addressed Henry. "You know what, little man? Maybe Casey just misses being around other dogs. Sometimes she might cry in her sleep when she dreams about them. But she's not really crying because she's sad. She'll be okay. I'll wake you up in the morning first thing, and you can play with her right away….okay?"

Henry didn't look quite convinced, but acquiesced. His prayers that evening were expanded to include giving thanks for Casey and begging pleasant dreams for her. He was so exhausted from chasing her all day that he was out within a few minutes of hitting the pillow.

"I guess that leaves us alone, doesn't it?" Reid wasn't the least bit subtle.

"It does."

"Is there anything you'd like to do? Chess? A crossword puzzle? Charades?"

She grabbed him by the tie he was still wearing. "Come here, Spencer Reid."

It wasn't quite charades, but she showed him exactly what she wanted him to do. Coincidentally…or not….it turned out he wanted the same thing.

* * *

#################################################

The next morning, they found Henry curled up on the kitchen floor next to Casey. He stirred when he heard them.

"She was _really_ crying, Uncle Spence. She wanted company. So I petted her until she fell asleep."

"And then you fell asleep right next to her."

Henry was getting ready to defend himself when Reid added, "That was just the right thing to do, Henry. You took care of her when she needed you. I'm proud of you."

Henry was beaming. "Yes, Mommy?" He wanted her approval too.

"Yes, little man. You're a very good caretaker." She cut off Henry's next comment with, "But she still isn't ready to sleep in your bed. Maybe when she's a little older, and bigger….."

"And potty trained," added his Uncle Spence.

JJ had what they hoped would be her final follow up appointment that day, and Reid intended to go with her. They were anticipating she'd be cleared to get back to work, but he still had questions about her lingering memory issues.

Henry was reluctant to leave Casey, but they got him off to preschool by reminding him that he could talk about her in show and tell. When Reid returned from the drop off, he asked JJ about her parents' visit.

"It was so good to see them, Spence. I needed it more than I knew. They were very sorry to have missed you, but wanted me to tell you how grateful they are for all you've done for us. I'm hoping they'll be able to get back down, or that we'll be able to go up, fairly soon."

Reid noticed a shadow cross JJ's face. "What is it?"

"Probably nothing. They had to leave before you got back because my dad had a doctor's appointment that he didn't want to cancel."

"Is he having a problem?"

"He said he wasn't, that it was just a check up."

"But you don't believe that."

"He hates doctors. I can't believe he'd be going for a check up. I think something's wrong and they don't want to worry me. Except their not telling me is worrying me even more."

He gave her a squeeze. "We'll make a point of visiting as soon as we can get some time off."

* * *

##################################

The doctor gave JJ a clean bill of health and an okay to return to active duty. He addressed their concerns about her continued memory loss.

"As I told you back in the hospital, most people will eventually recover their memories, but there are no guarantees. And, unfortunately, there's no timeline for it either. As long as you are not losing short term memory, you should consider the event over. If you regain what you've lost, go ahead and celebrate. If not, at least be assured that you won't lose any further memories."

Both of them took some consolation from that, but considering the precious nature of the particular memory loss, they still wished for more encouraging news.

Reid sought to lighten things up. "I guess we're just going to have to keep making new and better memories to replace the old ones. But I flat out refuse to be painted red again."

JJ gave a reluctant giggle. "I've come to terms with it, I guess. I'm just still a little sad. But considering how bad it could have been, I guess I should just be grateful."

"As should we both." And he gave her another new, precious memory in the form of a lingering kiss.

* * *

#############################################

'Blissfully chaotic' was Reid's new term for their household. Casey brought much joy into all three of the humans' lives, and offered comic relief when necessary. They fell into a routine of work, school and perpetual play with the puppy.

Within a few weeks of JJ's return to work, the unit had another stint at standing down. Morgan and Prentiss were teaching at the training academy, Rossi was actually on leave for a short book tour, and JJ, Reid and Hotch were assigned paper cases and local consults.

Then the team received notice from the police in Pennsylvania that they might have uncovered yet another victim of the 'Silo Slayer', this one in a silo just over the border from Ohio. They were requesting input from the team. Hotch asked for a volunteer to accompany him, and JJ was taken aback when she learned that the volunteer was Reid. Especially since they'd be driving there and back, the BAU jet having gone in for maintenance.

_Does he need time away from us? Was the puppy too much? Is he rethinking all of this? Is he afraid?_

She opted not to pressure him with anything other than, "Is everything all right, Spence?"

He reassured her that he was simply doing his part, feeling a little guilty that he hadn't been able to join the team the last time they'd gone out on this case.

"But I can stay if you think it will be too much, leaving you alone with Henry and the pooch."

She studied him as she responded. "No, it's okay. You go ahead. Maybe you can use a little peace and quiet anyway."

He looked uncomfortable as he responded. "I'm really just going along to be helpful, JJ. There's no ulterior motive_." Which is, technically, not the truth. But I can't share that with you._

* * *

##########################################

Hotch and Reid were gone for almost four days. They were able to tie the new body to the other cases and so limited the evildoing to the one unsub.

"Thank God", said Reid, "if there'd been more than one of these guys, I'd have given up eating grains altogether."

He'd approached Hotch about a favor as they drove out to the crime area, and Hotch was able to deliver on it on the way home. Reid was returning to JJ and Henry….and Casey…..having accomplished his task.

"Uncle Spence! Casey is potty trained! She slept in my bed last night!"

"Yay, Henry!" Reid had scooped up the delighted child and was hugging him. "Now _you_ can sleep in your bed too." He'd called to wish his godson good night each evening, and heard about his having set up camp in the kitchen.

JJ followed behind her son to give Reid a tight welcoming embrace and kiss. She held on to him as she leaned back to study his face.

"Everything okay?"

He knew he'd worried her, but it couldn't be helped. He sought to reassure her now.

"Couldn't be better. Did you miss me?"

"Every moment of every day…..and night."

"Me too. I think we should do something about that, don't you?"

"Right after the 'kids' are in bed, sir."

"Maybe if I pull the curtains, they'll think it's night already."

"I tried that last night…they'd worn me out all day. Didn't work."

Reid felt guilty. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to help, JJ. Let me take care of things now."

She took him by the hand and led him to the sofa. "Right now, tell me about your trip. What did you and Hotch find to talk about for all those hours together driving?"

Then she interrupted her own thought with, "Wait, did he let you drive at all?"

Hotch's control issues were always very obvious when he was around a vehicle. It was the subject of much discussion among the team members.

"Not even around the block."

She laughed. "Well, tell me about it. He's not exactly chatty, is he?"

Reid was circumspect. "We managed to find things to pass the time. Nothing particularly special." _That I'm prepared to tell you about. _"I _can_ tell you all about Jack's soccer team, and his skill as a goalie. And how much training goes into preparing for a triathlon. And all the administrative changes happening with our retirement plan….."

He was watching for her reaction. "Okay, never mind. I'm sleepy enough without listening to that."

Reid pulled JJ up and pointed her toward the bedroom. "Tomorrow's Saturday. To make up for leaving you alone all week, let me handle everything. You rest, or run, or whatever you want to do. But for now, let's see exactly how sleepy you are."

* * *

###################################################

Later, after they'd worn each other out and JJ had drifted off, Reid recalled his trip with Hotch. It was true that the unit chief was usually taciturn, but it was also true that he and Reid had always managed to cover some deep subjects together that neither could ever as easily discuss with the others. In a way that had once surprised Hotch, he found Reid to be a good sounding board, willing to listen intently and respond directly, not hindered by a concern about social correctness. Maybe that was why Hotch shared the news of his impending divorce from Haley with Reid, sooner and in a way that he hadn't with any of the others.

For Reid's part, he felt secure with Hotch. Gideon had been the mentor, and in some ways an odd sort of father figure, but he'd also had an untamed side, a wildness and impetuousness that made Reid uncomfortable. Hotch offered the stability, wisdom and guidance that Reid felt he needed, while never demanding more than the young man had to offer. That played a large part in Reid's opting to accompany him on this trip. He needed input from someone he trusted, and he needed assistance to accomplish a task.

Their trip was marked by long periods of silence punctuated by pointed exchanges. Both were comfortable being alone with their thoughts, but also welcomed the opportunity for discussion and the offering of support to one another.

"Reid, how are things going with JJ?"

"She's doing really well, Hotch. I wouldn't have left her alone if I didn't think so." He was quick to add the last statement.

"I don't doubt that you are looking out for her, Reid. I was asking how both of you are doing together."

"Oh." He thought for a moment. "It's going great, I guess. We're happy. Or at least I know I am. And I think she is. Do you think she's happy, Hotch?"

His boss glanced over at Reid and chuckled. "Still a little unsure of yourself, are you? Yes, Reid, she seems very happy. And I'm glad for both of you."

They traveled most of the next hour in silence, Reid deep in thought.

"Hotch, how did you know you wanted to marry Haley?"

The bushy brows went up at that. He hadn't expected to have this kind of conversation for another twenty years, and then he was expecting to have it with Jack, not with Reid.

He studied his youngest profiler, deciding to answer with another question.

"Are you thinking about marriage for yourself and JJ?"

Reid swallowed thickly. "I think so. I mean, I'm definitely thinking about it...obviously...but I'm not sure I_ should_ be thinking about it. I mean, I never, ever thought it would happen to me. I can't _believe _I'm even considering asking the most beautiful girl in the world to be my wife." He reacted to his own statement. "I can't even believe I said the word 'wife' in connection to me!"

Hotch had been trying to hold in a smile, but gave up at Reid's last statement. "I guess many things have changed for you, haven't they?"

Reid was shaking his head as a measure of disbelief in what had happened in his life. "Hotch, I don't even know where to begin..."

His boss turned briefly serious. "Are _you_ happy with all of the changes?" Like JJ, he also knew Reid well enough to realize the man needed privacy, and time for thought and contemplation. Hotch's concern grew out of both the fondness he had for Reid and the potential fallout for the team if Reid couldn't function in a 'Reid-like' way.

The genius was comfortable being honest with his boss. "I am, I think, Hotch. I've lived alone for so long that it's a big adjustment being with JJ and Henry all the time, but I'm getting there. We're _all_ getting there, I think. And I want it badly enough to do whatever it takes."

"It's a bit more chaotic than you're used to, I'm sure. Especially with a new dog in the house." Henry had excitedly introduced Casey to Hotch when he'd swung by to pick up Reid.

"I've never had a dog before, but always wanted one. I think I'm getting as big a kick out of her as Henry is. JJ keeps saying she's got three kids in the house now."

Hotch laughed. Then he responded to Reid's original question.

"So, about Haley...we met in college, and hit it off right away. She was, to me, the most beautiful girl in the world." He watched as Reid acknowledged the common sentiment. "She was tough on me, though. She called me out on virtually everything. When I was 'playing the jock', as she called it, when I was too full of myself, when I didn't consider her input, or her feelings."

Hotch seemed caught up in his memories. "There was a time when I thought I should run the other way, that she was too demanding, that I wanted someone 'easier'." He paused for a few moments, thinking back. Reid noticed flashes of both sentimentality and bittersweet sadness cross his superior's face.

"But then I realized that she was only finding, and bringing out, the best in me. And I started to like that person she'd seen inside me. And I knew I needed her to be in my life, for the rest of my life, to be that person."

Reid swallowed thickly. He was all too aware of the loss Hotch had suffered. "I'm sorry, Hotch. I shouldn't have brought it up."

That nudged Hotch out of his reverie. He flashed a quick sideways look at Reid before turning his attention back to the road. "Nothing to be sorry about. I think about her every day. I try to think how she thought, to keep some of her presence in my life. I need to be the person she loved, if only for Jack."

They were both silent for a long time after that. Then Reid looked over at Hotch.

"I think I know what you mean, about needing Haley to see what was inside of you. I feel the same way about JJ. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself. And she sees someone I can only hope to become. And being with her, loving her, is helping me to actually become that person. For all my genius ability, I can't figure out how that happens."

Hotch was smiling again. "But you're just glad it does."

"Amen to that. I don't know how I could go back to the life I had before. I mean, it felt like enough then, but now that I know better...it was too _little, _if you know what I mean."

Hotch let a few more miles pass before resuming the conversation. "So, you're thinking of asking JJ to marry you?"

Reid was almost mumbling his reply. "She's probably crazy if she does, but yes, I'm thinking of it."

"It's probably not a question you want to ask unless you're pretty sure of the answer, Reid. How do you think she'll respond?"

"I think...I hope...it's what she wants too, Hotch. We haven't said the word 'marriage', but we _have_ talked about being together forever. Maybe we don't need to be married for that, but something in me wants it, and I think JJ does too."

"And Henry?"

Reid sighed. "I couldn't love him more if he were my own, Hotch. But I know he's got a father. It's something we'd have to work out. I won't do anything to hurt him, I know that. Even if it keeps me from JJ. But I pray every day that it won't."

"Does Will know how close you and JJ are? And Henry?"

Reid was nodding. "He was here a few months ago, before he went undercover. He asked me to look out for them. It actually felt like he was placing them into my care."

Hotch just looked his question.

"We haven't heard from him since then. It was supposed to be a deep undercover operation, having to do with human trafficking. I guess he's not able to communicate. But it's definitely bothering Henry, and even JJ, that it's gone on so long."

Hotch kept his concerns to himself. He simply offered, "It sounds like Will is resigned to his relationship with JJ being over, then. So, there are no obstacles to your asking her to marry you."

"Well, there may be one..."

Yawning, Reid put away the rest of the story for another reverie. He checked on Henry and Casey, and joined JJ in bed...this time, to sleep.

* * *

###############################################

On Saturday, Reid was as good as his word. JJ had the day to do as she pleased…which, of course, meant that she spent it with her men and Casey. But not until after she'd had breakfast in bed followed by a leisurely run. She stretched as she stepped out of the shower.

_This feels so good. I think I'm coming back to my old self again. Thank you, God._

Henry and Casey spent the entire afternoon running in and out of the sprinkler, making for a very messy boy and dog at the end of the day. Reid hosed Casey off, and scooped his godson up to give him an early bath.

He was just toweling Henry off when he heard a commotion in the kitchen. It sounded like a pot had fallen, and Reid thought he heard JJ calling out. Sending Henry to his room to dress, Reid ran to the kitchen. He was worried something was wrong with JJ, and called out as he ran.

"JJ! Are you all right?"

He burst through the doorway to see JJ standing in an array of soap suds on the floor, Casey yapping at her feet, and a pot falling out of the sink. He couldn't quite interpret the expression on her face.

"JJ, are you all right? What happened?"

She looked at him, apparently not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

"I remember!"

"You remember? What?" For a few seconds, he was confused. And then he got it.

"You remember? You remember! JJ, are you saying what I think you're saying?"

She was nodding, tears running down her cheeks despite her smile. "I remember everything. How you were afraid to tell me you loved me. How I called you a dork."

He rolled his eyes at that. He could have done without her remembering that part.

"How you took my hands, and told me I was the right girl for you. How you kissed me. I remember!"

He went to her and hugged her suds-covered body, tasting soap as he kissed her. He'd been anticipating this moment almost as much as she had. Spending a few seconds in consideration, he made a decision.

"JJ, don't move. I'll be right back."

* * *

###################################

Reid's brain was so high functioning and his powers of recall so total that he had time to fully review the events of the past few days during his brief sojourn to the bedroom and back.

He'd asked Hotch for a favor while they were in Pennsylvania, and the senior agent was only too happy to comply. As they approached their destination, Reid was becoming visibly nervous.

"I think you should come in with me."

"Well, you called ahead. Do they know you're not alone?"

"Yes, they know we're together. And I think they like you. Maybe that will help them like me."

Hotch was biting his cheeks. "And if they don't?"

Reid gave a wide-eyed gulp. "Don't even say that! This has to go well!"

"You're being very traditional, Reid. I think Mr. Jareau will appreciate that."

"It's just that JJ told me I'm not the kind of guy they're used to. Not the kind she used to date. What if I'm not the kind of guy they want her to marry?"

"Do you think she would marry you anyway?"

Reid thought a moment, then smiled as he gave a decisive, "Yes!" Pause. "But it would make life so much easier if we _all_ wanted it."

"Relax, Reid, I'm sure it will go well." They were pulling up to the house.

Reid's nerves were getting the better of him as he waited for the door to be opened. But he found himself reassured when JJ's mother greeted him by pulling him into a warm embrace.

"Spencer! We're so glad you came by. We were sorry to miss you when we visited Jennifer. We wanted the chance to tell you how much we appreciated everything you did for her, and for our precious Henry, when she was hurt." She hadn't let him out of the embrace yet, and he was trying not to squirm.

"Let the man go, Sandy!" JJ's father was behind his wife. He stepped forward and shook Hotch's hand while he waited for his wife to finish with Reid. "Aaron, it's good to see you again."

Finally Mrs. Jareau relinquished Reid to her husband. "Spencer, I'm very glad to see you as well. As Sandy said, it was disappointing not to be able to thank you in person."

"Mr. and Mrs. Jareau," he began. They both interrupted him. "It's Sandy." "And Charles."

Reid started again. The youth in him, who'd been taught to be respectful of his elders, was having trouble addressing them by their first names. But he did so. "Sandy, Charles, I couldn't have thought to do anything else. JJ and Henry are too important to me."

The parents of the woman he loved exchanged a look at that. Sandy invited them into the kitchen for coffee and pie. "I'm so glad you called ahead. It gave me time to bake a little something. But I have to admit I was a little surprised that you asked me not to tell my daughter you were coming."

Hotch helped Reid out. "That was my doing, I'm afraid. I wasn't entirely sure we would be able to swing by, and I didn't want to tell her we'd see you if we wouldn't."

No one was buying that, but they all opted not to comment. Sandy broke the silence.

"Henry couldn't say enough about his Uncle Spence, you know. He's thrilled to have you there."

Reid was wondering if this was a pointed reference to their living together, but didn't pick up any negative vibes about it. Mentally, he told himself to stop trying to find a hidden meaning in every statement.

"The little guy showed me a few magic tricks and even fooled me with the 'hidden ace' thing. You teach him those?" Charles was studying Reid.

Reid was red from his neck to his ears. "Guilty as charged. I grew up in Vegas," he offered by way of explanation.

"Well, you're making my little man happy, so it's all good in my book."

Reid's sigh of relief was almost audible. He shot a look to Hotch.

"Sandy," Hotch said, "would you mind giving me the recipe for this pie? It's delicious."

If he hadn't been so nervous, Reid would have burst into laughter at the sheer preposterousness of Hotch baking pies. Instead, he turned to Charles and asked if they could walk outside for a bit.

Charles was enjoying this, anticipating what was coming. He could see the younger man's consternation, but thought his daughter was worth it, so didn't try to help Reid out.

They walked slowly along the long driveway. Reid cleared his throat several times, wondering where his voice had gone.

"Mr. Jareau...I mean, Charles...there's something I need to talk to you about."

"Yes?"

"I...it's...we...I mean, I ...I love your daughter, Charles. I love JJ. With all my heart. I know I'm not good enough for her.." It had slipped out before he realized what he was saying, probably because he thought it was true. But then he worried that he'd given her father a reason to say no.

He tried to salvage it. "I mean, no one would ever really be good enough for her..."

Charles gave him an inch, allowing a look of understanding to cross his face. That was all Reid needed. This was, after all, the man who'd loved JJ all her life. They had something in common.

More confidently, Reid began again. "Sir, I love your daughter with everything I have in me. She lights up my life...and I think I make hers a little brighter as well. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I'm asking your blessing before I ask her to marry me."

Charles studied Reid for a few moments, now giving nothing away with his facial expression. "Will you put her first? Will she be a priority in your life?"

As earnestly as he could convey, Reid responded. "Every day, sir, in every way. And Henry as well. I love him as much as I love JJ."

"Will you be there in the hard times as well as the good?"

Reid met Charles' gaze. "I think I've already shown that, sir."

Charles nodded in acknowledgement. He loved his remaining daughter and could see that this young man did as well. She had told him, during their recent visit, how much Reid meant to her. He recognized something indescribable in this relationship that he hadn't seen when she was with Will.

"We're in the twenty first century now, Spencer. I won't give the blessing alone. Let's go and talk to Sandy."

Reid realized he had his prospective father-in-law's approval and almost collapsed with relief. But he followed him into the house and went through the same process with Sandy.

She was much more demonstrative. Leaping from her seat, she took Reid into her arms again. He had time to think "_JJ must take after her father" _before Sandy declared, "You make Jennifer very happy, Spencer. She's told us that. And Henry as well. We would be very proud and happy to have you as a member of our family. You have our blessing."

Hotch had been discretely parked in the other room, but fully able to hear the exchange. He joined them now in the kitchen."Are congratulations in order?"

Reid was smiling his lopsided smile now. "Only if she says 'yes'."

"When will you ask her? _How_ will you ask her?" Sandy, the romantic, was anxious to know.

"I haven't worked out the how, exactly, but I'm waiting for just the right moment. I'll know it when I see it, but I just don't know when it will come."

None of them understood what he meant by this, but he seemed so confident that they didn't question him.

As they walked out to the SUV, Charles pulled Hotch aside. "You know him best. Is he a good man?"

Hotch looked at him steadily and nodded. "He's a good man. If I had a daughter..."

"Good enough for me, Aaron. I respect your opinion."

Reid had been able to overhear the conversation. As they pulled away, he turned to his unit chief. "Thanks, Hotch. For everything."

* * *

###############################

He did know it when he saw it. The moment had come. He'd wanted her to remember. He wanted her to be able to look back on their whole relationship. It may not have been the most romantic setting, but it was definitely the right time. He found what he was looking for and brought it back to the kitchen.

The love of Reid's life was still covered in suds and Casey was still yapping. "JJ, sit down, please."

She opened her mouth to say something, but he cut her off with, "Please, sit down, JJ."

_Don't people sit down to hear bad news? He wants to give me bad news two minutes after I've regained my memory?_

JJ was confused, but she trusted Reid completely, and so did as he asked.

He sat across from her. "JJ, I was hoping…no, I was _praying_….for you to get your memory back. I wanted you to remember everything about us, every day of our relationship. How we came to love one another, how we realized it, how we've lived it. I wanted you to have all of it. With me."

_This doesn't sound like bad news._ She noticed his voice was becoming choked with emotion.

"Loving you, and being loved by you, has so completely changed my life that sometimes I don't even recognize myself." He was leaning forward, grasping her hands in his.

"JJ, I can't imagine I give you even a fraction of what you give me. I don't deserve you in my life. But, if you'll have me, I promise to spend every day of my life becoming the man who deserves you."

Her hand went to her mouth and she teared up as she realized what this was. And then he confirmed it for her.

Reid rose from his seat and then knelt in the suds before her. He'd been worried about being able to get the words out, but now that the time was here, he was so intent on making her understand that his voice was strong and confident.

His gaze penetrated her eyes deeply. "JJ, I'm no good at romance. This..." and he waved his arms at the mess around them, unfinished dishes, soap suds and a puppy….."is what I have to offer. It's what I want, but only if I can have it with you. I love you more than I can ever say, and I will spend every day of my life showing you."

He'd taken her hands again. "Jennifer Jareau, will you marry me?"

She was crying now, so much so that she could barely speak. But she could nod. "Yes, yes, Spence, of course I'll marry you!"

She fell out of her seat and into his arms, both of them kneeling on the floor, crying, kissing, embracing.

He pulled a box from his pocket. "It was my mother's. We can have it sized, and maybe even get a new setting for the stone." He slipped the ring on her finger.

She held her hand out to admire the simple white gold band and small diamond. "It's perfect, Spence. Let's keep it as it is. I think your mother saw something in us long before we did. I'd love to honor her by wearing her ring."

He teared up again at that. His mother might not have recognized the happy, mature man he'd become, but she would have gladly welcomed the change. And she would be gratified at the step he was taking in his life. It was what she'd always wanted for him.

Henry had finally gotten into his pajamas and entered the kitchen to encounter this most unusual tableau.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" "Uncle Spence! Why are _you_ crying?" The sight frightened him, and he sounded like he was about to start crying as well.

They both reached out to pull him into their embrace. "We're not sad, Henry, we're happy!" his mother explained.

"I only cry when I'm sad. Why do you cry when you're happy?"

JJ tried to explain it to him. "Henry, do you know what it means when people get married?"

He thought about it. "They have to get dressed up and go to church?"

Reid helped him out. "And then they get to live together forever and ever."

"Happily ever after?"

"Exactly," said Reid, who felt like he was living his own fairytale.

"So, guess what, Henry?" JJ tried to lead him on.

Henry really _was_ a bright four year old. He got it right away. "Are you gonna marry us, Uncle Spence?"

Reid grinned at him. "If you'll have me, Henry."

"Yay, we're getting married!"

The adults looked at each other and laughed. Then they decided he was right, and echoed him. "Yay, we're getting married!"

* * *

#################################

Later, in the quiet of a sleeping house, Reid spent time in reflection. His chest felt full, strained by the heart that had stretched to beat for three instead of one. He spent time giving thanks to the God in Whom he'd only recently come to believe. And then he pulled out his mother's final journal and turned to the letter she'd left for him to find after her death. He read the words again.

"And, finally, some motherly advice. Better late than never! Spencer, you tend to retreat from life. I know your past has made you feel safer when you isolate yourself. But Spencer, I don't want you to live your life alone. Your father and I failed to create a family for you, and in doing so, we failed you. Life is meant to be lived in relationship….it's the whole, the only, point. Find that girl who makes you happy. Make a family with her. Live actively, not passively. Don't wait for it to come to you….it may well pass you by. Seek what you want. Take a chance on it. I know you remember me saying "when you're ready, the right girl will come along." When she does, make sure you take her by the hand.

Be engaged with life. Read the great stories. Gaze upon fine art. Listen to beautiful music. Explore the night sky. My adventure is coming to an end. Yours is still being written. Enjoy your life, my heart. Be happy."

_I am, Mom. I am._

FINIS_  
_


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